Old People

A friend sent me this:

Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? ......What do you see?
What are you thinking......when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, ..not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ........with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice....."I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice ..the things that you do.
And forever is losing .............. A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ...... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am .......... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .....as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten.......with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .........who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ..........with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ..........a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty .........my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows........that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now .......... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ..... And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ......... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ........ With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ....have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me........to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .......... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ......... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me .......... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ...........I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .......young of their own.
And I think of the years...... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age .......look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ...... A young guy still dwells,
And now and again ........my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys.............. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.............life over again.
I think of the years ....all too few......gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact........that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ..........open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer....see........ME!!

Anytime I see an old person, my heart goes out to them. I don't know where this heart from the old came from. The only grandparent I knew was my grandma. She used to come stay with us occasionally. I don't remember a lot about her. She would sit and crochet all day. I can not remember a single conversation with her. I do remember that she tried to teach me to crochet, something that didn't stick because I don't know how. She made me a crocheted doll blanket and an afghan. I got to pick the colors for the afghan. It is obvious that I was in elementary school when I did this - black borders and neon colors. I worked as a unit clerk at a nursing home once. It was one of my first jobs after high school. I liked it. I used to think I wanted to be a nursing home administrator, but now I don't think I would want to deal with all the rules and regulations and such. Being an activity director would be fun, but I don't think the pay would be what I have become accustomed to. Maybe some day I will have an opportunity to volunteer with senior citizens at church, but right now we are involved in a church with mostly young members. For now, I will just stay close to my dear aunts and uncles. I send them emails, birthday cards, and call them occasionally. I am always amazed at how appreciative they are. It is something that doesn't take a lot of effort on my part, but it certainly means a lot.

Spiritually Dry?

I think I am feeling spiritually dry.

I haven't been wanting to put on my cross necklace ("It's too much trouble"). I haven't been wanting to listen to my Christian radio stations ("They keep playing the same songs over and over"). I would rather watch The Beverly Hillbillies or The Cosby Show while I walk on the treadmill instead of EWTN or Beth Moore ("I could use a good laugh"). I would rather blog pictures of food and my kitchen than write about my spiritual life ("I didn't read anything interesting and pictures are easy and I don't feel like thinking so hard").

This is the "Prayer for Power" in my Dieter's Prayer Book this morning:

Dear God,

I truly want to be healed!

At least I think I do.

Show me if there is any part of met that has become content

with a cycle of striving and failing.

I don't want to sit poolside any longer.

I surrender my excuses--

all the reasons why I can't seem to overcome

certain familiar sins or cycles of defeat.

I am ready,

I am willing.

I want to be whole!

I want my life to be full and exciting because I am living it for You.

Don't let me be seduced by the subtle lie

that life is more meaningful when I am wrapped up

in a war with my appetites.

Deliver me.

Heal me, and I will take up my life,

new, fuller,

and give You all my thanks and praise.

Amen.

During my quiet time this morning, I half-heartedly read this and didn't pay much attention to the words. During the time I spent getting ready and particularly getting dressed and spending 10 minutes on the treadmill, God spoke to my heart and revealed to me the places where I have been moving away from Him. I am taking action. I switched the TV to EWTN. I cleaned my cross necklace and have it on. I pulled the Father Stan CD off the shelf and ripped it to iTunes and will take it to work today (I had promised months ago to bring it for a co-worker to listen to and kept forgetting). Today I will make the effort to draw close to God instead of pull away from Him.

Thank you God for speaking to me this morning. Your servant is listening. Amen.

Green Kitchen

Kitchen 05-28 002
Originally uploaded by charity.byar

We spent the day painting yesterday. I've been planning on painting the kitchen this color for a long time, but had a little shock when it started going on the ceiling. We originally planned on painting the walls a shade darker, but decided to paint it all the same once we got started.

My healthy eating is surviving this kitchen work. I've only had abnormal takeout food three times. Last night we had Outback, but it is normal to have that about every other week.

Strawberries

Strawberries
Originally uploaded by charity.byar

Fresh strawberries from our garden, chocolate syrup, fat free whipped topping, and a square of Ghirardelli dark chocolate.

Grace

What is the grace of God? The grace of God says you serve God because you are saved, not in order to be saved. You love people because you're saved, and not in order to be saved. You're not trying to keep a legalistic system, you're responding to a system of love and peace. What is grace? It's what someone gives us out of the goodness of their heart, not out of the perfection of ours. The story of grace is the good news that says that when we come, he gives. That's what grace is. Grace is a pleasant surprise. Grace is a kind gesture. Grace is something you did not expect. It is something you certainly could never earn. But grace is something you'd never turn down. You know what happens when someone sees the grace of God? When someone really tastes the forgiving and liberating grace of God? Someone who tastes God's grace is the hardest worker, the most morally pure individual, and the person most willing to forgive. ~ From The Inspirational Bible, "Grace", via my Devotional Bible

I think this is what is so life-changing about the Walk to Emmaus. During that 3 day weekend you really experience the Grace of God through the Body of Christ. Knowing His grace and experiencing His love changes the way the world looks. It is like seeing things in color instead of black and white. Hence the saying, "De Colores" (in colors).

Fruit Salad

Fruit Salad
Originally uploaded by charity.byar

I made this salad last weekend to take to my sister's house. It contains watermelon, peaches, pears, green grapes, and cherries with a honey, lime juice and cinnamon dressing.

I original saw the dressing recipe on a television spot by the local extension agent when I was in elementary school. The original recipe was just honey and cinnamon, but I added the lime juice last weekend and it seems to keep the fruit from browning too quickly.

Charity's Diet

Charity enjoys a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables (excluding raw tomatoes and olives). Favorite fruits are watermelon, frozen grapes, and berries. Favorite vegetables are colorful salads, asparagus, butternut squash, and Healthy Valley Garden Vegetable Soup.

Meats Charity usually eats are lean proteins, particularly chicken breast and beef sirloin, with occasional higher-fat cuts of beef. She likes using various marinades and rubs on grilled meats.

Charity's diet includes 2-3 servings of dairy each day. These are normally Braum's non-fat sugar-free yogurt, Braum's 1% milk, and cheese in limited quanities.

She also tries to include small (28 gm) servings of nuts in her daily diet. Favorites are pecans, cashews, macadamia nuts, almonds and Smuckers Natural Peanut Butter with Honey

The whole grains in Charity's diet come from oatmeal (usually old-fashioned, but occasionally instant) and Garden for Life sprouted grain products.

Healthy fats in Charity's diet come from Smart Balance Spread, olive oil and vinegar salad dressings, nuts (mentioned above), and the occasional avocado.

Chocolate is an important part of any diet, and Charity's favorite treats are Sugar Free Chocolate Fudge Pudding prepared with 1% Milk and Organic Dark Chocolate. She also likes to add 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder in her morning coffee.

Beverages of choice are Ozarka bottled water or reverse osmosis water and green tea. She enjoys one cup of coffee daily containing 1/4 cup powdered milk and sweetner daily. She also enjoys an almost daily glass of wine.

To avoid food cravings Charity avoids refined sugars, flours and processed foods, especially those containing high fructose/maltose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils. She does use artificial sweetners including spelda, stevia, and nutrasweet.

Quotes from Brother Lawrence

God alone is capable of making Himself known as He really is; we search in reasoning and in the sciences, as in a poor copy, for what we neglect to see in an excellent original. God Himself paints Himself in the depths of our souls. We must enliven our faith and elevate ourselves by means of the faith, above all our feelings, to adore God the Father and Jesus Christ in all their divine perfections.

The prayer time was really taken at both the beginning and the end of my work. At the beginning of my duties, I would say to the Lord with confidence,

"My God, since you are with me and since, by Your will, I must occupy myself with external things, please grant me the grace to remain with You, in Your presence. Work with me, so that my work might be the very best. Receive as an offering of love both my work and all my affections."

During my work, I would always continue to speak to the Lord as though He were right with me, offering Him my services and thanking Him for His assistance. Also, at the end of my work, I used to examine it carefully. If I found good in it, I thanked God. If I noticed faults, I asked His forgiveness without being discouraged, and then went on with my work, still dwelling in Him. Thus, continuing in the practice of conversing with God throughout each day and quickly seeking His forgiveness when I fell or strayed, His presence has become as easy and natural to me now as it once was difficult to maintain.

Get to know me better...

Here is one of those "get to know me better" things someone sent me:

1. Do you know anyone in Prison?
I know some people who have been in prison.

2. Have you ever logged onto a bf/gf/crush's myspace page?
I don't have a boyfriend/crush, but I have logged onto to my husband's.

3. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
I can't remember, but I had peanut butter toast on Saturday.

4. I wonder what happened to question 4?

5. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
No.

6. Name someone you miss.
My parents.

7. Are you named after a grandparent?
No.

8. Who loves you?
God, my husband, probably my family and close friends.

9. Have you ever broken a rib?
No, thank goodness!

10. Would you rather be a girl or a guy?
Girl.

11. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
Pumpkin - my step-granddaughter.

12. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
True Love, but it would be nice to have a million dollars for my true love and I to spend.

13. Have you ever had sex in church?
No, that would just be wrong and weird.

14. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?
I don't have a boyfriend, but my husband isn't.

15. I wonder what this one was?

16. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?
I'm not interested in dating anyone because I'm married. Sugar Pop is 16 years older than me, by the way.

17. What's your favorite junk food?
I don't really eat any junk food...I guess I would have to say candy.

18. Do you have a porn collection?
No...that's nasty.

19. Is your birthday on a holiday?
No.

20. Are you old enough to vote?
Yes...for 20 years now.

21. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?
I don't think so, but I have a BIG family so it's possible I could have a distant cousin there.

22. Are you a vegetarian?
No. I'm a Texas Girl - I love my Beef!

23. Do you worry about global warming?
No...God is in control and He created this great planet.

24. Do you like polar bears?
Yes.

25. What song do you want played at your funeral?
There's a Stirring

26. Did you lose your virginity to your neighbour?
No. (Who came up with these questions?)

27. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true?
I don't remember what my childhood dreams were.

28. Do you wear your boyfriend/girlfriends clothes?
I have when I had a boyfriend and I thought it was cool to sleep in their t-shirts. Now I'm married and I sleep in the buff (too much information?)

29. Are you a country or city girl/boy?
Country Girl - Learned how to drive a tractor and a car on the same day.

30.Are you taller than 5'6"?
Yes, I am 5'7"

31. Do you consider yourself spoiled?
I consider myself very blessed!

Abundance

The following question was in an email I received from Thrive!:

Do I have an abundance of the things I need to live comfortably?
The term "comfortable" means different things to different people. Make it a goal in your life to not aim for "enough," but to have "more than enough" of what you need -
whether it's time, money, love, space or other precious resources. When you live in abundance, you can focus more clearly on what you want. It empowers you to share yourself, your time, talent, and love more generously.

I did not like this question. I think it implies that we should be striving to increase the resources we have instead of being content with less. I do feel like I have everything I need to live comfortably, because I choose to live below my means. Sugar Pop and I were discussing houses and house payments last night because one of his co-workers is house hunting. When we bought our house, we could have qualified for a bigger house (and a bigger house payment). But because we made the decision to buy a less expensive house, we have more discretionary income to spend on other things and to be able to give more. Because we choose to limit the activities were are involved in, we have more time to spend together and with family. Because we don't have "shows" we must watch on television, we aren't tied to the television schedule. I love living simply and I want to continue to simplify my life because it frees me and enables me to be content with less.

Hope That Never Lets You Down

This is what I received from Joel Osteen yesterday:

Today's Scripture
“Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5)
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Even Christians can sometimes feel hopeless and powerless to overcome adversities. Maybe you feel trapped in your job, (italics mine) or your marriage is in trouble and there doesn’t seem to be an answer. You may have a child who is on the wrong path. Or maybe you are single and have given up any hope of ever meeting the right person. But no matter where you are, God can turn your situation around—and it could start happening today! If you believe with all your heart that God has something great around the corner for you, then hope will take over. God’s hope is such a powerful thing that it can keep you going when practically nothing else can. That’s because God’s hope will never fail or let you down, even if everything else does.
A Prayer for Today
God, thank You for giving me never-ending hope. I confess today that I will live confidently in Your hope because I know I’ll never be let down. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Having God's "Unreasonable" Faith

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33

When we look at these words of Jesus, we immediately find them to be the most revolutionary that human ears have ever heard. "...seek first the kingdom of God..." Even the most spiritually minded of us argue the exact the opposite, saying, "But I must live; I must make a certain amount of money; I must be clothed; I must be fed." The great concern of our lives is not the kingdom of God, but how we are going to take care of ourselves to live. Jesus reversed the order by telling us to get the right relationship with God first, maintaining it as the primary concern of our lives, and never to place our concern on taking care of the other things of life.

"...do not worry about your life..." (6:25). Our Lord pointed out that from His standpoint it is absolutely unreasonable for us to be anxious, worrying about how we will live. Jesus did not say that the person who takes no thought for anything in his life is blessed - no, that person is a fool. But Jesus did teach that His disciple must make his relationship with God the dominating focus of his life, and to be cautiously carefree about everything else in comparison to that. In essence, Jesus was saying, "Don't make food and drink the controlling factor of your life, but be focused absolutely on God." Some people are careless about what they eat and drink, and they suffer for it; they are careless about what they wear, having no business looking the way they do; they are careless with their earthly matters, and God holds them responsible. Jesus is saying that the greatest concern of the life is to place our relationship to God first, and everything else second.

It is one of the most difficult, yet critical, disciplines of the Christian life to allow the Holy Spirit to bring us into absolute harmony with the teaching of Jesus in these verses.

Washing Feet

From A Gentle Thunder by Max Lucado via the Christ Through the Bible section of my devotional bible:

Jesus Washes Our Feet

I don't understand how God can be so kind to us, but he is. He kneels before us, takes our feet in his hands, and washes them. Please understand that in washing the disciples' feet, Jesus is washing ours. You and I are in this story. We are at the table. That's us being cleansed, not from our dirt, but from our sins...

Don't miss the meaning here. To place our feet in the basin of Jesus is to place the filthiest pasts of our lives into his hands. In the ancient East, people's feet were caked with mud and dirt. The servant of the feast saw to it that the feet were cleaned. Jesus is assuming the role of the servant. He will wash the grimiest part of your life.

If you let him. The water of the Servant comes only when we confess that we are dirty. Only when we confess that we are caked with filth, that we have walked forbidden trails and followed the wrong paths.

We tend to be proud like Peter and resist. "I'm not that dirty, Jesus. Just sprinkle a few drops on me and I'll be fine."

What a life! "If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us" (1 John 1:8).

We will never be cleansed until we confess we are dirty. We will never be pure until we admit we are filthy. And we will never be able to wash the feet of those who have hurt us until we allow Jesus, the one we have hurt, to wash ours.

You see, that is the secret of forgiveness. You will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you. Only by letting him wash your feet can you have strength to wash those of another.

Kitchen Project

The kitchen project is about to begin. The original plan was to take out the furdown above the kitchen cabinets, put new molding around the tops of the cabinets, knock off the popcorn ceiling, take down the wallpaper, put a heavy texture on the walls, repaint, and get new light fixtures. As of yesterday, we've also decided to get rid of the tile countertop and backsplash and replace with formica which also means getting a new sink and we will get a new stovetop. I'm stressed out all ready. There is going to be construction dust all over the house. My eating routine is going to be thrown for a loop, but I know when it is all completed, it will be worth it. I just hope I don't gain 10 pounds in the process.

Here are the before photos:

www.flickr.com

Living Simply

The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their ontinual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and "the lilies of the field" -- simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us.

If you want to be of use to God, maintain the proper relationship with Jesus Christ by staying focused on Him, and He will make use of you every minute you live -- yet you will be unaware, on the conscious level of your life, that you are being used of Him. ~ My Utmost for His Highest

This reminded me of my mother. She was quiet and always working in the background. She served at our church, but didn't draw attention to herself. I'm not even sure most people knew of the work she did - preparing flowers (from her garden) for the altar, keeping the supply closet for religion classes organized and prepared, filling in for the usual organ player, allowing the priest to come over and use our washer & dryer and have lunch with us. I don't think my siblings ever knew that she would always attend Mass on their birthdays. She loved to do kind things for other people and I'm sure there are many lives she touched that I don't know about. I want to be like my mom.

The LORD decided his servant would suffer as a sacrifice to take away the sin and guilt of others. Now the servant will live to see his own descendants. He did everything the LORD had planned. By suffering, the servant will learn the true meaning of obeying the LORD. Although he is innocent, he will take the punishment for the sins of others, so that many of them will no longer be guilty. The LORD will reward him with honor and power for sacrificing his life. Others thought he was a sinner, but he suffered for our sins and asked God to forgive us. ~ Isaiah 53:10-12 (CEV)

He usually gets what He wants

From Traveling Light by Max Lucado via the Life Lesson Devotional in my Bible

In God's plan every life is long enough and every death is timely. And though you and I might wish for a longer life, God knows better.

And--this is important--though you and I may wish a longer life for our loved ones, they don't. Ironically, the first to accept God's decision of death is the one who dies.

While we are shaking heads in disbelief, they are lifting hands in worship. While we are mourning at a grave, they are marveling at heaven. While we are questioning God, they are praising God.

But, Max, what of those who die with no faith? My husband never prayed. My grandpa never worshiped. My mother never opened a Bible, much less her heart. What about the one who never believed?

How do we know he didn't?

Who among us is privy to a person's final thoughts? Who among us knows what transpires in those final moments? Are you sure no prayer was offered? Eternity can bend the proudest knees. Could a person stare into the waning canyon of death without whispering a plea for mercy? And could our God, who is partial to the humble, resist it?

He couldn't on Calvary. The confession of the thief on the cross was both a first and final one. But Christ heard it. Christ received it. Maybe you never heard your loved one confess Christ, but who's to say Christ didn't?

We don't know the final thoughts of a dying soul, but we know this. We know our God is a good God. "He does not want anyone to be lost, but he wants all people to change their hearts and lives" (2 Peter 3:9). He wants your loved one in heaven more than you do. And he usually gets what he wants.

The Habit of Having No Habits

When we first begin to form a habit, we are fully aware of it...until they become such a spontaneous expression of our lives that we are no longer aware of them. ~ My Utmost for His Highest

This is talking about godly habits, but it got me to thinking about my daily healthy habits. There are some things in my life that started out as a struggle to do every day, but now I just do them without thinking about it. There are still some habits that I am still aware of and have to work on doing every day, but here is a list of things that are no longer habits, but just part of my life.

Drinking at least 4 20 oz bottles of water
Journalling my food every day
Running the dishwasher every night and unloading it every morning
Making the bed every morning
Taking my vitamins
Taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work
Wearing a pedometer

Don't Let Your Hope be Stolen

(From a daily email I get from Joel Osteen)

Today's Scripture
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
The enemy has a goal for your life. He wants to steal your hope and joy, he wants to make you so discouraged that you just quit and give it all up. He knows that if you get discouraged and down, you will eventually settle for less than the best, and less than what God wants from you. The right attitude and mindset will prepare you for your miracle, but that can't happen if you're down and discouraged. God may take His time to accomplish what He wants to do in your life, but you can't lose heart and allow the enemy to claim victory. God will allow everything to pass as He sees fit. Your job is to have an attitude of expectancy. The rest is up to God!

A Prayer for Today
God, I know that Your timing is not always my timing. With Your help, I want to hold on to my hope and joy today as I wait for Your answer. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Take The Initiative - From My Utmost for His Highest

"...add to your faith virtue..." 2 Peter 1:5
Add means that we have to do something. We are in danger of forgetting that we cannot do what God does, and that God will not do what we can do. We cannot save nor sanctify ourselves -- God does that. But God will not give us good habits or character, and He will not make us walk correctly before Him. We have to do all that ourselves. We must "work out" our "own salvation" which God has worked in us. (Philippians 2:12) Add means that we must get into the habit of doing things, and in the initial stages that is difficult. To take the initiative is to make a beginning -- to instruct yourself in the way you must go.
Beware of the tendency to ask the way when you know it perfectly well. Take the initiative -- stop hesitating -- take the first step. Be determined to act immediately in faith on what God says to you when He speaks, and never reconsider or change your initial decisions. If you hesitate when God tells you to do something, you are being careless, spurning the grace in which you stand. Take the initiative yourself, make a decision of your will right now, and make it impossible to go back. Burn your bridges behind you, saying, "I will write that letter," or "I will pay that debt"; and then do it! Make it irrevocable.
We have to get into the habit of carefully listening to God about everything, forming the habit of finding out what He says and heeding it. If, when a crisis comes, we instinctively turn to God, we will know that the habit has been formed in us. We have to take the initiative where we are, not where we have not yet been.

The purpose of our trials is not only to test our worthiness but also to increase it, just as the mighty oak is tested by the stormed as well as strengthened by them. ~ Streams in the Desert, 8/2

I do not expect high place in heaven; I shall be thankful for a little corner where I may love God for all eternity. ~ Blessed Marianne Cope

I do not regret leaving this world; my soul thirsts for the waters of eternal life. My exile is over. I touch the soil of my real country; earth vanished, heaven opens, I go to God. ~ St. Theophane Venard

Those who share in the sufferings Jesus endured for our sake win more treasure for their family than do others who become millionaires. ~ Blessed John XXIII

The only one who has a right to shape our lives is Jesus Christ. We must determine to allow nothing and no one to shape us, not even our own personal experiences, unless they are consistent with the promises of God. In truth, who is ruling out lives, God or our experiences? ~ Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlefields

Trying to be an adult in a world full of children

At some point in life, each one of us must decide what is his highest joy; for the thing that delights us directs us. Generally speaking, a child finds his delight in what he has; a youth in what he does; and an adult in what he is. The first lives for possessions, the second for the experiences, and the third for character. We do not condemn the child or the youth for so living, because neither has reached maturity, but we would certainly wonder at an adult who lived on those lower levels. ~ From Live Like a King by Warren Wiersbe via my Life Lesson Devotional

When I read this, I went to Amazon to find out when it was written because it doesn't seem that our society is condemning adults for living at the lower levels of seeking possessions and experiences. In fact, from what "they" (the media) would have us believe, the only thing worth seeking is possessions and experiences. (In case your curious too, it was written in 1975.) No wonder I can't stand to watch regular television...it is geared for children and I am trying to become an adult.

He continues...

So, every person has an outlook on life, he is seeking his highest joy. Outlook determines outcome. Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the stars and become the friend of God by faith. Lot lifted up his eyes and saw Sodom and became the friend of the world. Abraham inherited the city prepared for him by God, the city he had been seeking; but Lot lost everything when Sodom went up in smoke. If life is to be rich and meaningful, then our joys must be the highest possible and Jesus tells us that the highest joy possible is to see God.

I want to seek after the highest possible joy. I can't go on living and seeking after the things the world wants me to, I must seek after God. God is the only place I can find joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Everything else is just a substitute and will never fill the God-shaped whole in my heart. Augstine said, "You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You." Amen!

The faithful Christian must not allow any day to pass without devoting some time to reading, meditation, and prayer...for holy reading shows the way to heaven, meditation travels it, and prayer attains the goal. ~ St. Thomas of Villanova

Our sins can weigh us down with discouragement. St. Ignatius of Loyola tells us that discouragement is never from God because it clouds faith and hope. God's love does not deal in punishment as human vengeance does. God's love disciplines us in order to free and purify us - sometimes a painful process - so that we may not die but live in Christ. ~ Magnificat, 7-28-6

God is all mercy and stands with open arms to admit us to his glory. ~ St. Catherine of Genoa

God is true: He has a long memory for his own promises and a short memory for our failures to keep ours. ~ Magnificat, 8-2-6

Panties!

Oh Happy Day!

I went to Target this morning for a battery for my pedometer (which I didn't find) and I cruised by the underwear section to see if by any chance they had any of my favorite panties. I didn't think they would because I haven't been able to find them in about a year and they are not available online. THEY HAD THEM! Yippee! I bought 8 packages of 3 so I have 24 new Gilligan & O'Malley Cotton Hipsters. I am so thrilled. I love these panties - the openings of the slightest banding that doesn't give me panty lines, they are lowrise so no worries about them being seen when I sit and, best of all, they do not crawl.

Praise the Lord for New Panties!

Momentum

It's important to make plans for tomorrow, next week or next year. But there is a difference between planning for tomorrow and living there, making so many plans in our heads that our focus remains in the future rather than the here and now...We must focus on today and the tasks at hand while leaving the worries of what will happen tomorrow in God's hands. ~ Lose it for Life Day by Day

It seems my mind is always swimming with lists of things I need to do and want to do and often times that prevents me from doing anything. I almost feel paralyzed to act while the to do list piles up around me. I begin to procrastinate because I don't know where to start. Then I really lose focus and would rather sit and play a computer game or read blogs than accomplish anything. However, if I can get moving and start seeing some progress, I feel AWESOME and that momentum keeps me going. Often times, just setting a timer for 15 minutes and telling myself I only have to work for 15 minutes is enough to get the pendulum swinging again. That is what I am doing today - 15 minutes of work on my to do list and then a 15 minute break to relax, read blogs, play on the computer, whatever.

I got up at 8:30 this morning and I already feel like I have accomplished a lot:
had my quiet time
washed, dried, and remade the bed
emptied the dishwasher
had breakfast (Sugar Pop cooked)
filed out a rebate form
paid a few bills and reconciled the checkbook
and in 5 minutes we will be going for a walk

I see a very productive day on the horizon and it makes me happy.

Fitting In or Standing Apart?

Questions from the Life Lesson Devotional:

How deeply do you care about fitting in and being like the world? What are the areas of your life where you blend in with those around you when you should not? Ask God to give you the courage and conviction to stand apart when you should.

The first thing that comes to my mind is with my eating habits (not very spiritual, huh?). I tend to try to fit in with the crowd and eat what others are eating. This is the biggest problem at office parties (actually any party) and when we go out with friends.

The other thing that comes to my mind is with my speech - talking about other people, making fun of people, being overly critical and judgemental. OR just being silent when other people are doing it.

There are probably more. I have emailed these questions to work so I can think about them today and pray for God to give me the courage and conviction to stand apart.

God of Perfect Timing

I read this yesterday at Happy Catholic:

Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To: Divine Answers to Life's Most Difficult Problems by Anthony DeStefano
... One thing that you learn as you progress in the spiritual life is that God is a God of perfect timing. Since he is able to see the "big picture," he knows just when you should move on and when you should stay where you are. And sometimes before you move on he has to "arrange" a thousand different details in order to make that move possible. That arranging takes time.People who travel frequently on airplanes know just what I mean, because they have experienced the frustration of "circling." Usually this happens near the end of the flight, just when you're most anxious to get off the plane ... you've gone into the dreaded holding pattern... The point is that, despite the frustration of the passengers, and despite the pilot's ability to freely control his aircraft, another entity -- air-traffic control -- has made an over-riding decision to prevent the plane from landing. And there's just nothing that anyone can do about it.The very same thing often happens to us in life. We can decide what we want to do and where we want to go, but God is still in charge of "air-traffic control." He sees everything on his omniscient radar screen -- the weather, the airport, all the other planes in the area. Sometimes, for reasons he may or may not disclose, he decides that the best thing for us to do is remain in a "holding pattern." While we're busy circling, he's busy clearing obstacles, solving problems and moving people around until things are just right. Then and only then does he permit us to come in for a safe, smooth landing.

I had prayed earlier in the morning that God would give me a message of encouragement on my job situation. This was an answered prayer.

Product

I use a lot of "product" every day. A limited amount of hair product - but lots of other products.

Shampoo
2 types of conditioner
soap
facial cleanser
lotion
toner
moisturizer
2 eye creams
lip balm
deodorant
spray on conditioner (yes, I have dry hair)
sometimes a hair product
concealer
foundation
blush
2 eye shadows
2 eye liners
mascara
lip primer
lip liner
lip gloss
hand lotion
foot creme (night-time)
cuticle creme (night-time)
perfume

Then there are the optional "pampering" things - various facial masks, facial scrubs, body scrubs, hand scrubs, deep conditioners, shave gel (I don't shave my legs everyday), self-tanner.

Whew! No wonder I struggle to get ready in under an hour. I would really like to get ready in about 45 minutes but I do like to take LONG showers.

Pap Results

Two weeks ago, I had my 4 month follow up pap smear from the LEEP I had in December. She said she would call if the results were abnormal and just send a letter if the results were normal. Well, after being gone for a week, I figured I would have a letter in the mail - Nothing. Slightly paranoid. There were no phone calls showing on the caller ID from the doctor though, but the paranoia said that maybe she had tried my office number first and find out I was on vacation. I had hoped that the place we get are mail delivered had some mail stuck back for us because are box was full from being gone for a week. I had a dream on Saturday night that the doctor called and I had abnormal results. Increased paranoia. Yesterday, I had Sugar Pop ask at the UPS Store if they had any more mail for us - nothing. More paranoid. I didn't want to call the doctor because I was afraid of bad news, but finally told myself that if it was bad I would have to find out sooner or later and if it was good and could relax and stop being paranoid. So, I called this morning. The nurse called me back and my pap smear was NORMAL! Yeah...paranoid for nothing. They did send a letter - who knows where that went (and I wonder what other mail we haven't received).

Anyway...I'm happy that I'm normal and the LEEP has worked. YEAH! If anyone has any questions about a LEEP (now or if you just happened upon this post at a later date because you are having to get one), feel free to comment and I will be happy to answer any questions.