Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Spiritually Dry?

I think I am feeling spiritually dry.

I haven't been wanting to put on my cross necklace ("It's too much trouble"). I haven't been wanting to listen to my Christian radio stations ("They keep playing the same songs over and over"). I would rather watch The Beverly Hillbillies or The Cosby Show while I walk on the treadmill instead of EWTN or Beth Moore ("I could use a good laugh"). I would rather blog pictures of food and my kitchen than write about my spiritual life ("I didn't read anything interesting and pictures are easy and I don't feel like thinking so hard").

This is the "Prayer for Power" in my Dieter's Prayer Book this morning:

Dear God,
I truly want to be healed!
At least I think I do.
Show me if there is any part of met that has become content
with a cycle of striving and failing.
I don't want to sit poolside any longer.
I surrender my excuses--
all the reasons why I can't seem to overcome
certain familiar sins or cycles of defeat.
I am ready,
I am willing.
I want to be whole!
I want my life to be full and exciting because I am living it for You.
Don't let me be seduced by the subtle lie
that life is more meaningful when I am wrapped up
in a war with my appetites.
Deliver me.
Heal me, and I will take up my life,
new, fuller,
and give You all my thanks and praise.
Amen.

During my quiet time this morning, I half-heartedly read this and didn't pay much attention to the words. During the time I spent getting ready and particularly getting dressed and spending 10 minutes on the treadmill, God spoke to my heart and revealed to me the places where I have been moving away from Him. I am taking action. I switched the TV to EWTN. I cleaned my cross necklace and have it on. I pulled the Father Stan CD off the shelf and ripped it to iTunes and will take it to work today (I had promised months ago to bring it for a co-worker to listen to and kept forgetting). Today I will make the effort to draw close to God instead of pull away from Him.

Thank you God for speaking to me this morning. Your servant is listening. Amen.

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