Empty Wells

From Lose it for Life Day by Day, April 28th (Day 118 Binge-Free):

Placing unrealistic expectations on others is like going to an empty well that cannot give us what we need. This may be a familiar scenario for you when you think about your parents, spouse, employer, friends or even your church. We all go back to these empty wells, demanding and pouting for them to give us what we want: attention, support, nurturing, acknowledgement, praise. When they can't deliver in the ways we expect, we may become more demanding, and even judgemental or indignant, about how they have failed us.

This feeling from being let down has been one of our invitations to fill the void with food, either by over-consuming or over-controlling it. We rationalize that because we have unmet needs, we deserve to treat ourselves with desserts, or a snack or just large quantities of food. Then, disappointed in ourselves, we fall into discontent and shame.

It is actually our expectations that are off track. We need to look at all our empty wells with forgiveness, realizing that the people we love are doing the best they can with what they know. We must let go of our demands upon them to give us what they do not possess to give. Then we must turn to Jesus for our deeper spiritual thirst to be met.

Today, Lord, forgive me for going to empty wells and demanding that all my needs be met. I want to run to You and drink from the bottomless well of Your presence, love, and mercy.

Reactions of Others

This is from Lose it For Life Day by Day, April 10th.

We must be aware that some people will have doubts and may attempt to sabotage our progress in recovery, even when they are happy for us. They may say, "A little won't hurt!" or, "You can't have that ever?" This can be discouraging and throw us off track if we again focus our attention on deprivation rather than the fullness of life in God.

We must stay focused on how Jesus is restoring us to our "right mind." We have been given the opportunity to allow God to do the impossible through us. Sitting at the feet of Jesus -- a surrendered position -- we have become God-focused instead of food-focused. We begin to lose or maintain weight and grow spiritually. We are not bothered by the negative reactions of others.

I like eating a healthy diet. I feel better. It is easy to maintain my weight. I sleep better. My skin looks better. But there always seem to be food-pushers around. The holidays come and there are special holiday foods to eat and people look at you funny if you don't eat those foods. Or we go on vacation and my routine is thrown off and I don't want to bother with bringing along food to stick to my routine. However, because I know how much better I feel when I stick to my food plan, when events arise that through me off, I am much quicker about getting back to normal. And because I have finally learned what works for me, I am not tempted to try every diet plan (or "non-diet" plan) that comes out. I am in a good place. I like it. I have been working on being binge-free. Today is day 100! This is the year I am going to be binge-free. I just need to remember to "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak." ~ Matthew 26:41.

Friend to Self

The following is from Lose it for Life Day by Day, March 29th. I was supposed to read this yesterday but I never got around to it. I needed it today because yesterday was a splurge because we went out to eat at our favorite Italian restaurant. I would have been tempted to beat myself up about that today, had I not read this.

A friend loves at all times. ~ Proverbs 17:17

We need the acceptance and love of dear friends who will support our mission to recover health and who will walk beside us through thick and thin (no pun intended). We need those into whom we can pour ourselves as well, and offer the same love and presence that is so important to us.

By being a friend who loves at all times, we find that we have something of value to offer. We can make a difference in the life of someone who will be blessed by our love.

Today, we have the perfect candidate to start blessing. This person desperately needs us to come through with consistent kindness. It is the person named "Myself." Just as we are friends with others, so we can be a friend to ourselves. Rather than condemn ourselves with cruelty we wouldn't give to a mangy dog, we can instead be gentle, acting from love at all times. We can support our own mission for healthy living and offer the same spirit of compassion that we so desperately need from others. We can receive and give love in friendship; we can be a friend to self.

Today, Lord, may I receive the love of my friends and offer that love to myself and to others.

Supporters, Not Judges

From the Lose it For Life Devotional, March 23rd:

There is a fine line between helping others to follow the Lord's pat and trying to control or push them into the way we believe is right. We may be tempted to tell everyone about our food plan because it works for us, and it seems like we should share it. But it may not work for everyone. They need to consult with their own doctor or nutritionist, who can guide them for the health of their bodies.

As godly supporters and encouragers for those on a like journey, we are not to evaluate whether they are "doing it right," or look down on them for making too many mistakes, or give them unsolicited advice. We can share our experience with what works for us and the success we have found when we take certain actions. This communicates hope to others, not judgment, and allows them to find their own path and accountability with the Lord. We are each His servant, and He is the One who is able to help each of us stand.

Shape Worries into Prayers

This is from my Lose it for Life Devotional. It spoke to me about my worries and anxiety about my surgery.

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying , pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. ~ Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

Aware of our tendency toward anxious, emotional eating, we must instead transform our worries into prayers. By turning to God with our fears and emotions, we let Him know our heart. It is then that He brings everything together for us. Our faith in His
loving attention and protection is renewed. We are now able to settle down because we know Who is in control.

Our anxieties and worries are usually about things over which we want control but can't have it. Worries can be touched off by the fear that we will lose something we have--or that we won't get something we want. In the past, we have either eaten too much or avoided eating because it was something we felt we could control.

But fretting, worrying and over/undereating do not accomplish much more than sheer harm to our overall wellness. When prayer and praise replace these behaviors and Christ is at center stage, a wonderful sense of peace and serenity flows.

Today, Lord, I turn over my worries and concerns to You, praising You for Your love and grace for my recovery.

The Finish Line

From Lose it for Life Day by Day - March 1st:

I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:26-27A (The Message)

There is no finish line in our quest for better health. Embracing a lifelong process, performed daily with no arrival point, can be daunting. In our old life of dieting, we motivated ourselves into deprivation by focusing on the idea that it was only temporary; that when we reached our goal weight, we would be able to splurge again. We strove for that finish line -- but it backfired on us. The deprivation dam broke when we allowed ourselves that splurge. And there we were, back to old eating habits and putting on pounds again.

In this verse Paul speaks about a finish line, but it's more like a rainbow--we run hard toward it, but we never fully arrive in this life. The rainbow is still out there ahead of us, so we learn to live well one day at a time. We let go of sloppy living by surrendering daily. We run this race with everything we've got--faithfully working out spiritual keys, diligently planning our food, energetically exercising our bodies. We stay alert and in top shape so that we feel enlivened, not beaten down by deprivation.

Today, Lord I embrace this daily plan of living well, running the race with the willingness to stay in top condition.

Food is Not the Answer

From Lose it for Life Day by Day:

Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing--but by then it was too late, tears or no tears. ~ Hebrews 12:16-17 (The Message)

Esau was a short-term, concrete thinker. He was so focused on his present need and hunger that he was willing to sacrifice his future life and needs, unable to see the value of a lifelong gift because it was yet to be.

How many times have we done this with our dependence on food? We've reached for a bite in the moment, giving away our inheritance of a healthy vital body in the future. We've impulsively consumed foods and quantities in the present that have significantly diminished our quality of life to come. We've put ourselves at risk for heart attack, stroke, diabetes, and joint replacements. The short-term fixes have overshadowed our long-term health and usefulness to God.

And afterward, we have all cried bitter tears, like Esau. Yet God's grace is abundant! We can start today, this afternoon, this evening! By focusing our eyes on the Lord and reaching out for help in times of temptation, we can be filled by Him and His people--even in our hungriest moments. Our future and hope is in Him.

Today, Lord, strengthen me in the intensely hungry moments when food looks like the answer. I entrust You with my future.

Fed by God

From Lose it for Life Day by Day:

When struck with the kind of overwhelming hunger that grabs all our attention, we may think we'll simply die between meals. This unrealistic fear puts us in danger of making a food choice that is not in our plan or best interest. But there is a spiritual sustenance that will get us through this hunger and fear.

We can ask God to "feed" us between meals. Seeking the "bread" humans know nothing about is a spiritual task. It means resting in the knowledge that He is our true sustenance. It means resting in faith that we will not die between meals; we are merely uncomfortable. It means calming our spirit by drawing closer to Him and humbly letting go of our will when we're around food, even when others urge us to eat. Like the disciples did to Jesus, those around us may urge us to eat things that are not in our plan, but we can remain steady and committed by drawing on spiritual food.

I needed to read this today. The weekends can be difficult for me because I don't always eat like I do on the weekdays and because I am at home where there is a pantry full of food, it is easy to seek after snacks all day. What I need to do instead is seek after Him who fills me with His spirit.