Spiritually Dry?

I think I am feeling spiritually dry.

I haven't been wanting to put on my cross necklace ("It's too much trouble"). I haven't been wanting to listen to my Christian radio stations ("They keep playing the same songs over and over"). I would rather watch The Beverly Hillbillies or The Cosby Show while I walk on the treadmill instead of EWTN or Beth Moore ("I could use a good laugh"). I would rather blog pictures of food and my kitchen than write about my spiritual life ("I didn't read anything interesting and pictures are easy and I don't feel like thinking so hard").

This is the "Prayer for Power" in my Dieter's Prayer Book this morning:

Dear God,

I truly want to be healed!

At least I think I do.

Show me if there is any part of met that has become content

with a cycle of striving and failing.

I don't want to sit poolside any longer.

I surrender my excuses--

all the reasons why I can't seem to overcome

certain familiar sins or cycles of defeat.

I am ready,

I am willing.

I want to be whole!

I want my life to be full and exciting because I am living it for You.

Don't let me be seduced by the subtle lie

that life is more meaningful when I am wrapped up

in a war with my appetites.

Deliver me.

Heal me, and I will take up my life,

new, fuller,

and give You all my thanks and praise.

Amen.

During my quiet time this morning, I half-heartedly read this and didn't pay much attention to the words. During the time I spent getting ready and particularly getting dressed and spending 10 minutes on the treadmill, God spoke to my heart and revealed to me the places where I have been moving away from Him. I am taking action. I switched the TV to EWTN. I cleaned my cross necklace and have it on. I pulled the Father Stan CD off the shelf and ripped it to iTunes and will take it to work today (I had promised months ago to bring it for a co-worker to listen to and kept forgetting). Today I will make the effort to draw close to God instead of pull away from Him.

Thank you God for speaking to me this morning. Your servant is listening. Amen.

Real Beauty

Dee posted this article today. I really liked it and want to save it for myself to read again.

You and I live in a world where beauty is a sad plastic imitation of the real thing. Real beauty is a thousand skin tones and languages, different smiles, personalities and hairstyles. Real beauty doesn't matter if you're wearing a frilly skirt and ballet flats or a lacrosse uniform. It has nothing to do with your jean size or your height.

It has everything to do with what He says about you, and He says you're a star. He says beauty is a heart place, not a physical place, and when He invades that sweet broken heart of yours, it is impossible not to radiate beauty. I hope and pray that you'll look in the mirror and start to see what He has said and affirmed in your life over and over.

He says that He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). And He says that He's called you out of darkness into freedom (Psalm 107:14).

You're not meant to blend. You're meant to shine like a bright star in the darkest night. You're meant to be unique and original. In other words, being yourself is beautiful...

In a world full of plastic, I dare you to be beautiful. I dare you to let His love shine from your heart so bright the world can't help but notice.

You are a dream.

You were originated in the mind of God; woven and spun into the living, breathing masterpiece you are. Put simply: You're beautiful.

Settling into Maintenance

This is week 5 of my 6 week weight maintenance break. I was reflecting on the previous weeks and it occurred to me that it wasn't until last week that I really relaxed in maintenance mode. I was struggling with binge eating (which is part of the reason I decided to take the maintenance break) for the first three weeks. I would binge and then want to go back to weight loss points. Then I finally decided that binging was "no longer an option." I want to give it up FOREVER. Now that I have done that and feel like the issue is settled, I feel very comfortable at maintenance points. And interestingly, the scale has gone down about a pound after 11 days of no binging (even though I am eating 27 points a day).

I know I have to be on my guard though. I need to stay close to God because the "binge monster" could attack at any time. I reviewed my list of differences between a binge and a splurge yesterday, just to keep me on my toes. I bought some Ginger Chews at Drug Emporium yesterday. I could have easily eaten the entire bag (and made myself sick in the process, I'm sure), but I recognized I was on the verge of a binge and I did not want to go there. I do realize I need to be on alert though...I could have easily eaten through the entire bag before I realized I had just binged. As it turns out, I had five pieces - 100 calories. God is my strength and I am sure that He is responsible for alerting me to the danger I was encountering. I can't even remember how he "snapped me out of it" but I know that it was Him. I must watch and listen for His voice.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the awareness you gave me yesterday. I was tempted to eat that entire bag, but you rescued me. I am your little sheep who so easily wanders off and gets trapped in the brush or falls into the river. Please keep a watch on me and continue to rescue me when I get too close to danger. It feels good to have been saved BEFORE I needed it. Thank you. In Jesus Name I Praise You. Amen.

A Busy Holy Week

It has been a busy week. You will notice I missed blogging a couple of days. It's Sugar Pop's early week and my quiet time always gets cut short this week. Then I was spending time getting stuff together for Honey to go on the Chrysalis retreat this weekend. Monday evening I had a massage, Tuesday evening a haircut and color, Wednesday evening was Honey's night to come over for supper and then I went to the grocery store, Thursday evening we took Honey and her friend to the Chrysalis, and Friday after work I had a job interview. Whew! I'm tired. It was unusual for me to be so busy. I haven't got in any good workouts. I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes on Monday & Wednesday. Tuesday Sugar Pop and I went for a 20 minute walk. That is it...I haven't even got my floor exercises and stretches done very many days. Today I will do the Couch to 5K workout, but I am going to start Week 6 over since it has been a week since my last workout. (Edited to add: I ended up doing Week 6 Day 3 anyway...it was a 25 minute run - my longest yet!)

Even with all this busyness, it has been a good week and I have been close to God. Since it is Holy Week I decided to do a little extra "fasting." Not fasting from food though. I gave up posting to the WW boards, to reading blogs, and to listening to the radio (I've been listening to worship CDs instead). It has been pleasant and I was much more productive at work. It helped me to draw nearer to God and listen for Him instead of listening/reading other people's words. I have missed the boards and blogs though. They are a good support system and I will be reading/posting to them again. However, this week has been a good reminder that my ultimate support comes from God and that I can always rely on Him.

Thanksgiving

I will praise God in a song and will honor him by giving thanks. ~ Psalm 69:30 (NCV)

Things I am thankful for (not an all-inclusive list):
Jesus
Knowing Jesus
My health
My arms, legs and all my body parts that work correctly
My Dear Husband
My home
Spring and all the beautiful flowers that are blooming
The great rain we received last week
The good friends we made through our small group
Getting to stay home for Easter instead of traveling
Honey going on the Chrysalis
That I have a job (even though I don't like it and want a new one)
The hope of a new job
The cardinal that was in my tree on Valentine's Day
That my Godson is out of the hospital
High speed internet
WEEKENDS!
My parents (may they rest in peace)
All my siblings and extended family
Coffee
All the wonderful foods we have to choose from

I could go on and on and on and on...

Dear Lord, thank you for all the blessings you give to us. I know I am not nearly grateful enough for them and take so many things for granted. Everything I have and everything good about me comes from you. Thank you for it all! Amen.

Tithing

There was a study guide in my bible reading today on Tithing. Sugar Pop and I have been tithing for several years now (after a bible study in our Sunday school class). It was hard to increase are giving at first because sometimes it was a struggle financially to just give the smaller amount. However, since we started tithing it has never been a problem. The money has always been there. Of course, that is always the first check I write with each paycheck, so there is not an opportunity for it to get spent any where else.

“Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! “But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’ “You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! ~ Malachi 3:8-10

Our old pastor used to ask, "Would you rather live with 100% of your money under the curse or 90% under the blessing of God?" 90% with God's blessing is definitely better!

Fear

I was reading something today that reminded me of some dreams I used to have. When Sugar Pop and I were first married and my faith was being rekindled and ignited, I had several bad dreams. Dreams with an evil presence trying to scare me. I would do lots of praying (sometimes when I woke up and sometimes in my dream)...just calling upon the Name of Jesus to relieve my fears. That was effective and the dreams eventually stopped. I haven't had any in a long time. Occasionally, walking through the house when it is dark I will get the feeling of fear/an evil presence and I will call upon the Name of Jesus or say the Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel and then the fear is gone.

Trust

Do you find it hard to trust God when things are going poorly? Or is it harder when things are going well because you're more self-sufficient? ~ Life Lesson from Devotional Bible

When things are going well I find it easier to trust God because I can see the things He is doing. When things are going poorly and I am waiting on Him, I am probably trusting more, but it is more difficult because I am not seeing Him moving.

Lord, help me to trust You and to rely on You and give me a greater faith while I wait on You. Amen.

Submission

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:21-33

I was asked to post this verse this morning and since I didn't come up with anything to blog about in my daily readings, I thought this would be good. So many times the verses about a wife submitting to her husband are taking out of context of this entire passage. Husbands are also called to love their wives as they love their own bodies - that is a LOT of love. And to love their wives as Christ loved the church - that is EVEN more love. I remember a pastor one time was preaching on this verse and he recalled a dialogue with a man.

Pastor: Do you love your wife the way Christ loved the church?
Man: Oh yes, I would die for my wife!
Pastor: Yes, but would you vacuum?

That has always stuck in my head. We can say we love someone enough to die for them and we probably do, but it is not often that we are called to literally sacrifice our life for that person. However, we can die to our selfish desires every day for them.

Here is a link to sermon on this passage (different pastor): To Listen. To Download. If those links don't work, visit here and look for "Getting a Handle on Love" on 1/6 & 1/7.

Thank You

Thank you God for listening to me when I prayed through Psalms 42 & 43 yesterday. I really needed that bit of encouragement. You're the Greatest!

Curb Your Appetite

Curb Your Appetite for Trash by Phil Joel of the Newsboys
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is” (Romans 12:2, NLT).
I won’t lie to you—life in a rock band is amazing. I still pinch myself, half expecting to wake up as a 14-year-old boy who went to sleep surrounded by posters of my favorite bands and musicians. I’m having a blast, and touring in a band is a lot of fun. There are, however, a few challenges. One of the seemingly minor ones is that for a touring musician, the road is laden with burgers, fries and those crazy American “donut” things. Truck stops, fast food restaurants and backstage catering offer every fattening food option imaginable. Finding good nourishment can sometimes be very difficult. But, if I’m willing to put in the effort, it can always be found.
My pastor has a great saying: “You hunger for what you feed on and you feed on what you hunger for.” It’s really true! When I’m feeding myself with healthy foods, my energy levels increase and I find myself satisfied after each meal. I soon lose my appetite for the junk and become addicted to the way my body feels and functions when I’m eating well.
It’s the same principle from a spiritual angle. As Christians, we may be tempted to feed on the “junk food” of our culture: the wrong TV and Internet, pornography, the drive for fame and recognition in our own social scene, etc. If we give in to the temptation and spend little or no time with the Lord—reading His word, in prayer and intimacy with Him—we will continue to be stimulated by the “junk food.” Our minds will be coated in a “spiritual fatty layer” that will block our true potential in Christ.
The deal is this: There is an enemy of our souls. He has a plan to destroy us with a complete buffet of lifestyle garbage. I don’t necessarily mean those obvious, terrible and dark things that may tempt us. I mean anything that would distract us from pursuing God and feeding on His goodness and His words and ways. We need to ask ourselves, “Do I have a plan? How am I planning to grow and be deliberate in my pursuit of the Lord and His word?”
I’m writing about this today because five years ago, I made a conscious and deliberate decision to meet with the Lord every day arid spend time listening, learning and feeding on His presence. I renewed the simple, yet essential, practice of “the quiet time.” Rising and meeting with Him through the Bible and prayer is so important. It has radically changed my life. This is real-deal relationship-building stuff, and I need it. We all do! Without this time each morning, we risk spending our days as undernourished, ignorant, unfilled Christians who haven’t entered into the fullness of what Christ has for our lives.
In Psalm 19, King David talks about being hungry for God’s word and ways. He describes them as being “more to be desired than fine gold” and “sweeter than honey and the honeycomb.” When we eat the right foods, we build and strengthen our bodies. As we feed on God’s presence through His word and prayer every day, we build and strengthen our relationship with Him. We hunger for what we feed on, and we feed on what we hunger for.
So what are you hungry for?

This was in a devotional I received in the mail yesterday from KLOVE. I get these because I am a monthly donor, but because I have other things I am reading, I normally just throw it away. However, I thumbed through it and this article caught my attention. After being out of town for a weekend and feeding on actual junk food, I was happy to return home and return to my healthy food. However, the first couple days I definitely suffered from some cravings and came real close to devoring hot chocolate (regular - not sugar-free) and cheez-its. Now I have returned to my return and those foods do not even appeal to me. The same thing happens with my quiet time. Anytime we are away from home for a few days, my routine is thrown off and I don't get my normal quiet time. It's disrupts me spiritually and I am always very happy to be home and resume my quiet time with the Lord.

Tired of waiting?

From the Life Lesson of the Devotional Bible I am reading:

Tired of waiting for a career break? [YES!] A loving spouse? Children? Pray through this psalm [Psalm 40] when you feel impatient. Let God know your feelings, and tell him your frustrations.

I waited patiently for the Lord. He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of destruction, out of the sticky mud. He stood me on a rock and made my feet steady. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many people will see this and worship him. Then they will trust the Lord. Happy is the person who trusts the Lord, who doesn't turn to those who are proud or to those who worship false gods. Lord my God, you have done many miracles. Your plans for us are many. If I tried to tell them all, there would be too many to count. You do not want sacrifices and offerings. But you have made a hole in my ear to show that my body and life are yours. You do not ask for burnt offerings and sacrifices to take away sins. Then I said, "Look, I have come. It is written about me in the book. My God, I want to do what you want. Your teachings are in my heart." I will tell about your goodness in the great meeting of your people. Lord, you know my lips are not silent. I do not hide your goodness in my heart; I speak about your loyalty and salvation. I do not hide your love and truth from the people in the great meeting. Lord, do not hold back your mercy from me; let your love and truth always protect me. Troubles have surrounded me; there are too many to count. My sins have caught me so that I cannot see a way to escape. I have more sins than hairs on my head, and I have lost my courage. Please, Lord, save me. Hurry, Lord, to help me. People are trying to kill me. Shame them and disgrace them. People want to hurt me. Let them run away in disgrace. People are making fun of me. Let them be shamed into silence. But let those who follow you be happy and glad. They love you for saving them. May they always say, "Praise the Lord!" Lord, because I am poor and helpless, please remember me. You are my helper and savior. My God, do not wait.

Three Ways

From Devotional Bible Life Lesson:

Which areas of your life are less than totally dependent on him? Write downthree ways you can pursue holiness before God and start practicing them.

I didn't catch the significance of this at first. The fact that it is Ash Wednesday and yesterday I was trying to come up with three things to "do" for Lent. The only thing I had come up with so far was giving up chocolate which I have had planned for some time. Here are my three ways:

1. No chocolate.
2. No television watching by myself. I don't want to make a big deal about not watching television, but I need to stop using it for company.
3. Pray for someone else. I have gotten selfish with my quiet time by just spending it reading my devotionals and praying for myself. I want to make a point to pray for someone else each day.

Self-inflicted Harm

I was cleaning out my "sent items" and ran across this. It is from a devotional I read June 30, 2005 (I suppose I should clean out my sent items more often).

Self-inflicted Harm by John Chrysostom

God requires two things from us: to condemn ourselves for our sins and to forgive others. The former is for the sake of the latter. For those who consider their own sins are more lenient toward their fellow-servants. It’s easier, then, to forgive from the heart and not merely with the lips.
Therefore, don’t thrust the sword into yourself by being revengeful. For how does the grief you have been afflicted with compare to the ones you will face by remaining angry and bringing on God’s condemnation? If you are careful, and keep yourself under control, the evil will come upon the head of your afflictors. They will suffer harm. But if you continue to be indignant and displeased, then you will suffer harm from yourself. . . See how much you gain by meekly bearing the spite of your enemies. First and greatest, you gain deliverance from sins. Secondly, strength and patience. Thirdly, gentleness and goodness. For those who don’t know how to be angry with their afflictors that grieve them will be much readier to serve those that love them. Fourthly, you will always be free from anger. Nothing can equal this. For those who are free from anger are clearly delivered from discouragement too. They won’t spend their live on useless burdens and sorrows. . . . They will enjoy pleasure and ten thousand blessings.

There are certain times and certain people that I am quick to harbor anger with...I need to read, re-read, and take this passage to heart.

Run for God

It’s been said that the key to success is to be good at failing. In the midst of our own mistakes, failures, and even foolish rebellion against our own goals, great opportunities to change our course often present themselves. And God is interested in one thing: full restoration. He doesn’t forgive us more deeply if we first beat our heads against the wall, throw in the towel, or decide just to give up. Failure is part of the long path to success. It’s our response to failure that makes all the difference. When the apostle Peter failed, Jesus gently restored him, but not by saying, “I can’t believe you did that!” and going over each incident when Peter denied Him. Instead, He affirmed what He knew to be good and true about Peter, nudging him to see for himself by his answer to Jesus’ question, “Do you love me?” Judas, on the other hand, who underestimated God’s loving-kindness and forgiveness, punished himself pointlessly and irreversibly by taking his own life in guilt and shame. When you waver, reach for Him. When you start sinking, call out His name. He’ll be there, and He’ll welcome you back into His arms just readily as He did the first time you stumbled. When you fail, run for God, not from Him.

The is from The Dieter's Prayer Book. Why is it that we we fail, we want to run and hide? It seems against our nature to admit our failure and ask forgiveness. I guess it goes back to the beginning, doesn't it? When Adam and Eve failed, they hid from God. Here we are thousands of years later still hiding. God doesn't want that for us. He wants us to come to Him. We are afraid that God will pay us back for what we have done. There was a line in last week's sermon that has stuck with me, "God doesn't use discipline to pay us back, but to bring us back." Let's run to God!

Growing Old

Quesstions from the "Abundant Life" study guide in the Max Lucado Study Bible I am reading:

Describe a person you know who has aged gracefully.
My mom. She was always kind and loving. I think this verse described her: The ways of right-living people glow with light; the longer they live, the brighter they shine. - Proverbs 4:18. I wish she would have lived longer and been able to shine brighter.

What is the difference between living long and really living?
Really living means enjoying life, being content, having the joy of the Lord in your heart. Living long would be depressing without that.

Why do you think so many people fight the natural aging process?
Pride. Fear of sickness. Fear of eternity.

What are some fears people have about growing old?
Fear of becoming disabled. Fear of losing their mind. Fear of pain and suffering and sickness. When mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer she told me, "I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of what I might have to go through to get there."

What criterion do you think we should use in looking back over a lifetime and evaluating its worth?
It is not the "stuff" you accumulate or the places you visit it is the relationships you form and the people whose lives you touch.

What are the "how to's" for enjoying the life God gives us?
Resting in the Lord and relying on Him for our strength. Having God in our hearts so that we are not constantly looking to fill our live with material things that do not satisify.

Do you think old age gives you more or less ability to enjoy life?
More. As we grow older we (hopefully) also grow wiser and troubles don't seem so pressing and urgent.

What do you fear most about aging? Why?
See the fears I listed above.

What stage of life do you think is the best and which is the most challenging? Why?
I'm going to guess that retirement will be best assuming I am healthy and can pursue the hobbies and volunteer work I would like to. The teenage years have got to be the worst - so much growing up going on, maturing to do, and we haven't gained much wisdom yet.

What can we do when we feel discouraged about growing old?
Remember that every day is one day closer to getting to be the Lord for all eternity.

This is the Day

This is the Day

This is the day (this is the day)
That the Lord hath made (that the Lord hath made)
I will rejoice (I will rejoice)
And be glad in it (and be glad in it)
This is the day that the Lord hath made,
I will rejoice and be glad in it!
This is the day (this is the day),
That the Lord hath made.

I was feeling down this morning and this song came to mind so I started singing it. It made me feel better. Beware of the link though...it is a pretty "hokey" version of the song.

Filling the empty places

"When an evil spirit comes out of a person, it travels through dry places, looking for a place to rest, but it doesn't find it. So the spirit says, 'I will go back to the house I left.' When the spirit comes back, it finds the house still empty, swept clean, and made neat. Then the evil spirit goes out and brings seven other spirits even more evil than it is, and they go in and live there. So the person has even more trouble than before. It is the same way with the evil people who live today." ~ Matthew 12:43-45

I have the desire in my heart to simplify my life and my main motivation is to make more room for God. This verse serves as a warning to me that as I simplify and make room, that I need to be sure and fill it with Him, instead of other things. I remember one Lent I decided to have protein bars for my breakfast and lunch every day so that I could use that time to spend with the Lord. However, a lot of that time saved was spent running errands and doing other things, instead of what I originally intended.

Lord, as I simplify my life and surroundings, please come and fill them with your presence. I want you here and nothing else. Amen.

Routines

As always, I desire to grow closer to God. I want to remove the many distractions in my life that keep me from focusing on Him. I've been without my computer the past few days and weirdly that is distracting me. You would think that would allow me to focus on God more - that my computer would be a distraction. In some ways it is, but right now I am wondering what it is going to take to fix it, I am keeping the many thoughts that I record in my computer on my mind instead of being able to put them in my computer and then forget about them. My routine is off and that is distracting. But I am learning...I am learning to trust Him. I am learning to relax. I am learning that my routine really is important. The routine is important because it keeps a lot of my day on auto-pilot. I don't have to focus as much on what needs to be done and I can focus more on Him. However, my routine can also make me rigid and inflexible. God is always teaching me...but am I always learning? I don't know, but I am trying to listen to Him and learn from these daily struggles.

I need...

Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. ~ Matthew 7:7-8 (The Message)

1. I need my computer fixed.
2. I need a new job.
3. Most of all I need YOU! I need you living in me, walking with me, guiding me, teaching me, making me more like You.

That's it...