What you say

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need--words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. ~ Ephesians 4:29 (NCV)

There is someone I work with who could take this verse to heart. I've watched her over the years and I have learned from her. I have learned how I do NOT want to treat employees. She is in a management position. She can be a nice person and do nice things for the employees, but you do NOT want to get on her bad side and there is always one person on her bad side and that person can't seem to do anything right (and if they do, all they get is a back-handed compliment). If they have a problem, it is always an attitude of "what did you do wrong to screw this up." Yes, there are times when people make mistakes and need correction. I do not have a problem with criticizing someone's work, but you need to take the time to politely correct them and teach them. This person doesn't just criticize the work, she will criticize the person, especially if that is the person who is at the top of her sh*t list. There was an employee in our office one time that I loved. She was young, a hard-worker, a fast-learner, willing to please, cute, with a great personality. She was an ex-marine and could take a lot of cr*p. She had the potential to be a wonderful employee. She did have some personal problems and sometimes they affected her work. However, with proper counseling and edification she could have overcome those issues. But no, that didn't happen. This person instead chose to cut her down instead of lift her up. Once the girl was considering getting a dog and she told her, "You can't even take care of yourself. How are you going to take care of a dog?" A statement like that does nothing to bring out the best in someone. It doesn't make them want to try harder. It causes them to shut down and not perform to the best of their abilities. The girl eventually got fired. That has been over a year ago and I still miss her. She was one of my best friends at work. Maybe I should have stood up for her and told the person she shouldn't talk to people like that. But, at one time I was on the top of this person's sh*t list and it is not a place I want to be again. And trust me, if I had said anything, that would have put me on the top of the list.

To paraphrase Huey Lewis, "I need a new job, one that won't make me sick."

How to stop a complainer?

I read something in my daily reading today that made me think. I've been pondering it and didn't really know how to put it into words, so that is why this is so late today. Basically it made me think about how quick most people are to complain. And how it seems that the easier our life is, the MORE things we find to complain about. If I have a headache, I will complain to my family and people I work with and it might make me irritable. But I see my sister-in-law who suffers from MS and uses a walker and wheel chair to get around. I have NEVER heard her complain about her illness. Oh, I'm sure she does, but not in public and not to everyone she comes in contact with. There are a few people in my life that at times it seems they LIVE to complain. They can go on vacation and when you ask them how their trip was, all you get is a litany of all the things that were wrong. What makes some people complain more than others? Do the perpetual complainers realize how exasperating it is to listen to them? Is there anything that could be said to stop their complaints? Does ANYONE have a clue? I would love to know!

In the meantime...

Lord, please help me to monitor my thoughts and words for complaints. I know that I am blessed with so many wonderful gifts you have given me. When I feel the desire to complain, help me to stop and think of your gifts instead. Help me to watch my words so that others do not become exasperated by listening to me. Instead let me be uplifting and encouraging with the words I speak. Help me to be patient when listening to others complain and give me Your wisdom and words to speak to them. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Complaining About Our Troubles

I was working on my bible study questions this morning. (Women of Faith - Cultivating Contentment). One of the questions was, "What is the difference between complaining about your troubles to God and complaining about those same things to the people around you?" This really got me to thinking and pondering and this is what I came up with. Most of our complaints are about things that the people we are complaining to can't do anything about. For example, complaining about other drivers, world events, how we look...and on and on and on. Our complaints are burdens to those around us because they have to take the time to listen to us and there is nothing they can't do about them anyway. However, when we complain to God, He does have the time to listen (He has all of eternity to listen). And He CAN do something about things. Maybe He doesn't change the circumstances we are in, but sometimes He does change our heart. Maybe He gives us the ability to be gracious to other drivers, maybe He prompts us to do something to change the world, maybe He encourages us to lose a little weight and take care of ourselves. I think in our subconscious we realize that when we complain to God that He might ask something of us. Maybe that's why we like complaining to others, because they will complain right a long with us and never challenge us to make necessary changes.

Heavenly Father, I pray that you will help silence my tongue when I want to complain to others. Remind me to complain to you instead. You have the time to listen and the power to change situations and/or to change me. Thank you Lord for being so patient with me and so willing to listen to my words. I pray that my heart will be receptive to the changes you would have me make. In Christ's Name I pray. Amen.