What you say

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need--words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. ~ Ephesians 4:29 (NCV)

There is someone I work with who could take this verse to heart. I've watched her over the years and I have learned from her. I have learned how I do NOT want to treat employees. She is in a management position. She can be a nice person and do nice things for the employees, but you do NOT want to get on her bad side and there is always one person on her bad side and that person can't seem to do anything right (and if they do, all they get is a back-handed compliment). If they have a problem, it is always an attitude of "what did you do wrong to screw this up." Yes, there are times when people make mistakes and need correction. I do not have a problem with criticizing someone's work, but you need to take the time to politely correct them and teach them. This person doesn't just criticize the work, she will criticize the person, especially if that is the person who is at the top of her sh*t list. There was an employee in our office one time that I loved. She was young, a hard-worker, a fast-learner, willing to please, cute, with a great personality. She was an ex-marine and could take a lot of cr*p. She had the potential to be a wonderful employee. She did have some personal problems and sometimes they affected her work. However, with proper counseling and edification she could have overcome those issues. But no, that didn't happen. This person instead chose to cut her down instead of lift her up. Once the girl was considering getting a dog and she told her, "You can't even take care of yourself. How are you going to take care of a dog?" A statement like that does nothing to bring out the best in someone. It doesn't make them want to try harder. It causes them to shut down and not perform to the best of their abilities. The girl eventually got fired. That has been over a year ago and I still miss her. She was one of my best friends at work. Maybe I should have stood up for her and told the person she shouldn't talk to people like that. But, at one time I was on the top of this person's sh*t list and it is not a place I want to be again. And trust me, if I had said anything, that would have put me on the top of the list.

To paraphrase Huey Lewis, "I need a new job, one that won't make me sick."