C.S. Lewis on Romance Novels (or Why I don't watch soap operas anymore)

People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on ‘being in love’ for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change—not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other thrills come at the beginning and do not last. The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the R.A.F. and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there. Another notion we get from novels and plays is that ‘falling in love’ is something quite irresistible; something that just happens to one, like measles. And because they believe this, some married people throw up the sponge and give in when they find themselves attracted by a new acquaintance. But I am inclined to think that these irresistible passions are much rarer in real life than in books, at any rate when one is grown up. When we meet someone beautiful and clever and sympathetic, of course we ought, in one sense, to admire and love these good qualities. But is it not very largely in our own choice whether this love shall, or shall not, turn into what we call ‘being in love’? No doubt, if our minds are full of novels and plays and sentimental songs, and our bodies full of alcohol, we shall turn any love we feel into that kind of love: just as if you have a rut in your path all the rainwater will run into that rut, and if you wear blue spectacles everything you see will turn blue. But that will be our own fault. — from Mere Christianity

I used to be addicted to Days of Our Lives. I would come home for lunch every day to watch it and would record it if I missed it. The problem with soap operas is they give us an unrealistic expectations of what relationships (and life) should be like. I found myself mad at my dear husband because he wasn't as romantic as the characters and didn't plan big romantic get-aways and evenings for us. I had unrealistic expectations that came from watching television (and I was expected my husband to fill all the empty places in my heart that only God can fill). I gave up Days of Our Lives years ago and I've been much happier since.

Pedicure

On Monday Sugar Pop did some cleaning in his studio/office. He ran across a gift certificate I had made for him long enough ago that I don't remember when it was. It was for a pedicure from me.

So, last night I gave him his pedicure. He absolutely LOVED it.

When we were dating I used to give him pedicure quite often. The first time I gave him a pedicure it was because he had these ridges and discoloration in his toenails (he probably had a fungus or something in his nails). I just buffed that all away and he was AMAZED at how much better his toenails looked. After doing that a few times, his toenails looked normal all the time.

Submission

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:21-33

I was asked to post this verse this morning and since I didn't come up with anything to blog about in my daily readings, I thought this would be good. So many times the verses about a wife submitting to her husband are taking out of context of this entire passage. Husbands are also called to love their wives as they love their own bodies - that is a LOT of love. And to love their wives as Christ loved the church - that is EVEN more love. I remember a pastor one time was preaching on this verse and he recalled a dialogue with a man.

Pastor: Do you love your wife the way Christ loved the church?
Man: Oh yes, I would die for my wife!
Pastor: Yes, but would you vacuum?

That has always stuck in my head. We can say we love someone enough to die for them and we probably do, but it is not often that we are called to literally sacrifice our life for that person. However, we can die to our selfish desires every day for them.

Here is a link to sermon on this passage (different pastor): To Listen. To Download. If those links don't work, visit here and look for "Getting a Handle on Love" on 1/6 & 1/7.