Bitterness

Bitterness is spiritual cancer, a rapidly-growing malignancy that can consume your life. After is consumes the soul, it begins to eat away at the body. It is so contagious that we can pass it to our children, who are often oblivious to the source of their bitterness. No amount of distractions or busywork--not even church work--can treat this spiritual disease. Countless Christians mask their pain with unceasing activity. Bitterness cannot be ignored but must be healed at the very core, and only Christ can heal bitterness. No one can do it for you, and no one cal tell you exactly what is required for your healing. Others can direct you to Jesus, but you must show up for your appointments. His ultimate goal is not simply for you to be healed but for you to meet the Healer. ~ Beth Moore, A Women's Heart: God's Dwelling Place

Sugar Pop's ex-wife suffers from bitterness. It destroyed their marriage and she has passed it on to her children. Sugar Pop has been healed of the bitterness through the power of Christ. Butterfly has let go of a lot of it, but she needs Christ to remove the rest. Rosebud has let it eat her up and she is estranged from her entire family. Their is hope for Honey, but at times I can see it. Fortunately, Honey has a relationship with Jesus. She wants to pursue that relationship, but her mother does not see the importance of that. Her mother never encourages her to go to church. In fact, like yesterday, she encouraged her to stay home from youth group. But Honey went anyway.

Heavenly Father, please send Jesus to heal this bitterness. Open hearts that they may receive Him and know that joy that comes when bitterness is removed from the heart and Jesus is allowed to dwell there. Amen.

Pray for Restoration

As we grow to become more like Christ, our behavior grows more distinctive from the world. Believers should be known for their eagerness to do good and help others.

Get it straight: Someone who sees grace as permission to sin has missed grace entirely. Mercy understood is holiness desired. "[Jesus] gave himself for us so he might pay the price to free us from all evil and to make us pure people who belong only to him--people who are always wanting to do good deeds" (Titus 2:14)

Note the last phrase: "people who are always wanting to do good deeds." Grace fosters an eagerness for good. Grace doesn't spawn a desire to sin. If one has truly embraced God's gift, he will not mock it. In fact, if a person uses God's mercy as liberty to sin, one might wonder whether the person ever knew God's mercy at all.

When my father gave me his [credit] card, he didn't attach a list of regulations. There was no contract for me to sign or rules for me to read. He didn't tell me to place my hand on the Bible and pledge to reimburse him for any expenses. In fact, he didn't ask for any payment at all. As things turned out, I went a few weeks into the semester without using it. Why? Because he gave me more than a card; he gave me his trust. And where I might break his rules, I wasn't about to abuse his trust.

God's trust makes us eager to do right. Such is the genius of grace. The law can show us where we do wrong, but it can't make us eager to do right. Grace can. Or as Paul answers, "Faith causes us to be what the law truly wants" (Romans 3:31). ~ From In the Grip of Grace by Max Lucado via the Life Lessons in my Devotional Bible.

This reminded me of something that happened several years ago. Sugar Pop's daughter Rosebud was driving to visit her sister - a six hour drive. Her car was fairly reliable, but we gave her one of our cell phones just in case she had any problems. We explained that he had limited minutes on our plan and that we just wanted her to have a phone in case she had any problems. She racked up over $300 in charges on the phone during that trip. She totally abused our trust. I could go one at list similar incidents with her, but that would only serve to make me angry. Please just pray for her because she is estranged from her parents, grandparents, siblings, and her own daughter. Mostly she is estranged from God. If her relationship with God is restored, all the other relationships in her life will be restored.

Dying

What sort of a lover am I to think so much about my affliction and so much less about hers? Even the insane call, 'Come back,' is all for my own sake. I never even raised the question whether such a return, if it were possible, would be good for her. I want her back as an ingredient in the restoration of my past. Could I have wished her anything worse? Having got once through death, to come back and then, at some later date, have all her dying to do over again? They call Stephen the first martyr. Hadn't Lazarus the rawer deal? ~ from A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

In the past 5 years, I have had three people very close to me pass away. My mom, my dad, and my nephew/godson. I miss them all terribly. However, they all had much suffering to endure before their deaths.

Mom had ovarian cancer and underwent surgery and had three chemotherapy treatments. It was the chemo that contributed to her death. She contracted a blood infection due to her immune system being compromised.

Dad was ill for a very long time. We never really had a diagnosis of what was wrong with him. He had various ailments and was on dialysis and oxygen. A year before his death he fell and broke his hip and was never able to go back home and had to use a walker or wheel chair from that point on. He was very sensitive to medications, except for pain medicine which he took a lot of, and had a lot of side effects. (I am also sensitive to medicines, except for pain medicine - I take half doses of cold/allergy medicines, but take double does of ibuprofen for headaches.)

My nephew suffered from cystic fibrosis which was not diagnosed until he was about 15. Somehow he managed to avoid antibiotics and hospitals until he was 19. He had two trips to the hospital this spring. He was on oxygen, very sensitive to chemicals/allergens, took numerous enzymes/supplements with every meal to help with his digestion, and endured lots of breathing treatments. In the end, he refused to go to the hospital again and passed away at home.

So, even though I miss them and wish they were still here, I would not want them to have to endure that suffering again.

Family and Food Day

Today we spent the day with Butterfly, her fiance, and his daughter. We had brunch and supper with them (no lunch).

I did not do well on my healthy habits or my routines, but that is ok. We don't get to see them very often and I have every other day to work habits and routines.

Good News for a Change

Butterfly is Pregnant!

Due date is 3/7/2008.

I needed some good news today.

Last Words

I have no more ailments.

I can breath without oxygen.

I can digest food without enzymes.

I believe with all my heart I am healed.

Jesus Christ has saved my body and soul.

These were the last words that were written by my nephew. I am so saddened by his death, but I know that he is healed. And because of Jesus and the sacrifice He made, I will see him again someday.

In God's Peace (On Early Death)

by John Michael Talbot

The souls of the just are in God's hand
No torment shall ever touch them
In the view of fools they seem as dead
And their passing away an affliction

But they are in God's peace
Suffering a short time, now blessed indeed
But they are in God's peace
For the souls of the just are blessed indeed

Though the just die young, their souls are at rest
In a short time, their soul is perfected
Snatched away lest evil pervert their mind
God sped them away from the world

For they are in God's peace
Suffering a short time, now blessed indeed
For they are in God's peace
For the souls of the just are blessed indeed.

From the book of Wisdom (if you don't have a Catholic Bible you are missing out on some good stuff in Wisdom, read Wisdom 2:12-22 for an excellent prophecy of the Pharisees reaction to Jesus)

For the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace. For if before men, indeed, they be punished, yet is their hope full of immortality; Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried them and found them worthy of himself. As gold in the furnace, he proved them, and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself. In the time of their visitation they shall shine, and shall dart about as sparks through stubble; They shall judge nations and rule over peoples, and the Lord shall be their King forever. Those who trust in him shall understand truth, and the faithful shall abide with him in love: Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones, and his care is with his elect. (Wisdom 3:1-9)

But the just man, though he die early, shall be at rest. For the age that is honorable comes not with the passing of time, nor can it be measured in terms of years. Rather, understanding is the hoary crown for men, and an unsullied life, the attainment of old age. He who pleased God was loved; he who lived among sinners was transported – Snatched away, lest wickedness pervert his mind or deceit beguile his soul; For the witchery of paltry things obscures what is right and the whirl of desire transforms the innocent mind. Having become perfect in a short while, he reached the fullness of a long career; for his soul was pleasing to the Lord, therefore he sped him out of the midst of wickedness. (Wisdom 4:7-14)

These lyrics and scriptures are in memory of my nephew who passed away yesterday. He suffered from cystic fibrosis and died at the young age of twenty.

May he rest in peace.

Family Reunion

Saturday was an emotional day.

We had the family reunion for my dad's side of the family. Starting with the last reunion we had four years ago, we have been having a memorial service for the deceased members of the family. It is not a big deal...just acknowledging when they were born and when they died and lighting a candle. I teared up. I wasn't really expecting too. It has been 4 years since Dad died, but he was with us at the last reunion.

Saturday evening I went to church. The worship time was really good. I teared up a little during "Open Our Eyes Lord" which was the last song before communion. I don't know what the worship leader said during the prayer before communion, but that really got the tears flowing.

I still miss my parents terribly. But I am thankful that someday I will see them again because of the Great Sacrifice that Our Lord Jesus Christ made for all of us. Thank you Jesus!

And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don't want you in the dark any longer. First off, you just not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus. And then this: We can tell you with complete confidence—we have the Master's word on it—that when the Master comes again to get us, those of us who are still alive will not get a jump on the dead and leave them behind. In actual fact, they'll be ahead of us. The Master himself will give the command. Archangel thunder! God's trumpet blast! He'll come down from heaven and the dead in Christ will rise—they'll go first. Then the rest of us who are still alive at the time will be caught up with them into the clouds to meet the Master. Oh, we'll be walking on air! And then there will be one huge family reunion with the Master. So reassure one another with these words. ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (The Message)

A month with Honey

Just a few more days until Honey leaves for church camp. She has been at our house since June 1st. I am ready for the month to be over. Honey is a great kid and she is fun to be around and doesn't give us any trouble (although she did get grounded for a week this month because we checked up on her and she wasn't where she was supposed to be). She never talks back. She will always (eventually) do what you ask her to. She doesn't play her music too load. She does pretty good picking up after herself. I really am lucky to have such a good step-daughter. BUT I am not used to this and I am ready for the month to be over. I always thing that someday she might decide to come live with us all the time. I would love the extra money that would give us (because we wouldn't be paying child support), but I wonder how well I would handle it. Would I eventually turn into a nagging step-mother? I would hope that I wouldn't, but I know there have been days this month that I have had to bite my tongue to keep from being a nag. I think women just have a nag gene. Have you ever met a woman who wasn't "good" at nagging?

Spiritual Warfare

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. ~ Ephesians 6:10-18

Sugar Pop and I have discovered over the years that anytime we are getting ready to do something to spread God's message that things just go wrong, sometimes strange things - like lightbulbs exploding in the bathroom, car batteries dying, etc.

Well, Honey is going on a Mission Trip next week. She has had a lot of things go wrong for her this week - spilling coffee on herself, running out of gas, backing into a trailer, dropping her cell phone in ramen noodles, slinging chocolate syrup into the silverware drawer, having a friend spend the night and get sick. God is going to use her in a BIG way during this mission trip.

Dream About Rosebud

I had a dream last night about Rosebud. Sugar Pop, Honey, Pumpkin and I were going to some sort of church service and while we were waiting to go inside, we prayed that Rosebud would come. Just as we were going in Rosebud did show up and tried to take Pumpkin. But then I told her how we had just been praying for her and were so glad to see our prayers answered. Her entire contenance changed. She then believed in the power of prayer and asked for prayers for a man who would be a good husband and good father to Pumpkin.

I've always had a hard time praying for Rosebud because of being angry with the way she treated Sugar Pop. I've been praying Ezekiel 36:26 for her for a long time:

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

In my dream I could see this was answered.

Heavenly Father, I pray for Rosebud and I pray that you will give her the good man that she desires. I pray for a strong Christian man who can restore Rosebud's life and nurture her. I pray that they can be a family and that Pumpkin can be with them. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.