A Good Heart

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. ~ Luke 6:45 (NLT)

I got this scripture emailed to me today. (I'm on a list and get a scripture every weekday morning. You can sign up by sending an email.) There are some people in my life that are always negative and there are some people in my life that are always positive. Apparently, this is because of what is in their heart. I've always considered myself a positive person. I have a smile on my face almost all the time. Sure, they are difficult days and days when I am in a bad mood, but I try not to take it out on the people around me. It is (usually) not their fault that I am having a bad day.

This morning I woke up and I had a voice in my head immediately criticizing myself for some things I didn't do yesterday. Bashing myself is NOT a good way to start the day. But then I started making a mental list of the things that I did accomplish and I felt so much better. There were definitely more things done than there were left undone. I am a perfectionist so it is easy for me to spot the bad and the things that are missed. I need to spend more time giving myself (and others) credit for the good and what has been accomplished.

The Lord is my Helper

My assurance is to be built on God's assurance to me. God says, "I will never leave you," so that then I may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear." ~ My Utmost for His Highest

I think I need to repeat the phrase, "The Lord is my helper," over and over and over again. I have lots of worries - not really fears - but worries. Not really even worries necessarily, but thoughts. I'm always planning in my head, what to eat, what to where, when to exercise, how to exercise, the grocery list, the packing list, the snacks for the car, the clothes to pack, the things to do at home, the things to do at work, the next thing I need to do, the thing I need to do in ten minutes, ten hours and on and on and on and on.

And Still Obeys

Screwtape elaborates on the Enemy’s intentions:
Merely to override a human will (as His felt presence in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. For His ignoble idea is to eat the cake and have it; the creatures are to be one with Him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, or assimilate them, will not serve. He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best...He cannot 'tempt' to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys. —from The Screwtape Letters

All I Need by Bethany Dillon

When the day is done
And there's no one else around
While I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart, You're in my head
You're all I need, You're all I need
There are a million voices
Calling out my name
But You're the One I want to hear
So make the others disappear

You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need

When the morning comes
And Your mercy is renewed
There's a fire in my bones
I'm not afraid to go alone
You're all I need
You're all I need
The sun on my face
I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need
You're all I need

I'm drawn to everything that You do
Nothing compares with You

I have this song on my workout mix on my iPod. I makes me want to get out and run through a field of wildflowers on a crisp, cool, morning and praise God for the glory of His creation. So far, I haven't had that opportunity, but it works for jogging on the treadmill (and imaging that I'm running through a field of wildflowers).

Discernment

The enemy emphasizes the past, with its mistakes and heartaches, the Comforter exalts the present help of our Lord (Psalm 46:1). The devil delights in taunting us with our weaknesses, and the Lord reminds us of the wealth of his riches in grace. Condemnation concerns itself with our failures; conviction shows us the faithfulness of God. The tempter teases us with immediate gain at any cost; the Trustworthy One tells us of eternal gain, and reminds us of Passion and Patience in Bunyan's House of the Interpreter. The father of lies magnifies our problems, by showing their hopelessness, impossibility, and pain; the God of all grace reminds us of the promises, whereby we can hope against hope; for "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope; and hope does not disappoint us" (Romans 5:3-5). Thus we know that pain can mean gain.

The false angel of light would have us walk by sight and earthly wisdom ("the counsel of the ungodly," Psalm 1:1); the Lord of life, who sees the end from the beginning, would have us walk by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7), and thereby please our heavenly Father (Hebrews 11:6). The enemy would have us see the hosts of evil against us rather than the hillsides covered with ministering spirits (2 Kings6:15-17). He would keep us dwelling upon the injuries from others, until we become ineffective in service, rather than forgetting the things that are behind and pressing forward (Philippians 3:13-14) in the spirit of Him who said, "Father, forgive them." The Vanquished would have us feel the nails and the thorns, the Victor would have us see the triumph of Calvary's tree.

The discipline of discernment requires that we follow the tenets of divine revelation, lest we fall before the wrath of the tempter. We are to meet his subtlety, selfishness and sophistry in the same way as did the Captain of our salvation, with the unequivocal statement, "It is written" (Matthew 4:4, 7, 10). We also are to live by the Word of God, are not to tempt the Lord our God, and are to worship Him only. We are to believe that as we commit our way unto the Lord and trust also in Him, He brings to pass His will (Psalm 37:5) We are to trust that He is able to fill us with the knowledge of His will (Colossians 1:9), and to protect us from ways of the destroyer. "When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard again him" (Isaiah 59:19) As we submit ourselves without reservation unto God, and resist the devil, the latter will flee from us (James 4:7).

By the Word, by the Spirit, by faith, by submission to the divine will, and by resistance to any appeal to self and sin we discern between the way of God and the path of the destroyer. (From The Disciples of Life by V. Raymond Edman via the Life Lessons Devotional)

Simple Peace

The willingness to be and to have, nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else, would set our hearts at rest, and we would discover that the simpler the life the greater the peace. ~ Elisabeth Elliot from The Shaping of a Christian Family via the Life Lessons Devotional.

I desire a simple, peaceful life. I want to eliminate all "unnecessary striving" as Reed Arvin calls it.

Heavenly Father, open my eyes to see those things I can eliminate and give me the faith and courage to release them that through having a simple life I may come to know you more. Amen.

Old People

A friend sent me this:

Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? ......What do you see?
What are you thinking......when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, ..not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ........with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice....."I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice ..the things that you do.
And forever is losing .............. A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ...... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am .......... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .....as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten.......with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .........who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ..........with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ..........a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty .........my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows........that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now .......... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ..... And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ......... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ........ With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ....have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me........to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .......... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ......... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me .......... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ...........I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .......young of their own.
And I think of the years...... And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age .......look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ...... A young guy still dwells,
And now and again ........my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys.............. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.............life over again.
I think of the years ....all too few......gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact........that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ..........open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer....see........ME!!

Anytime I see an old person, my heart goes out to them. I don't know where this heart from the old came from. The only grandparent I knew was my grandma. She used to come stay with us occasionally. I don't remember a lot about her. She would sit and crochet all day. I can not remember a single conversation with her. I do remember that she tried to teach me to crochet, something that didn't stick because I don't know how. She made me a crocheted doll blanket and an afghan. I got to pick the colors for the afghan. It is obvious that I was in elementary school when I did this - black borders and neon colors. I worked as a unit clerk at a nursing home once. It was one of my first jobs after high school. I liked it. I used to think I wanted to be a nursing home administrator, but now I don't think I would want to deal with all the rules and regulations and such. Being an activity director would be fun, but I don't think the pay would be what I have become accustomed to. Maybe some day I will have an opportunity to volunteer with senior citizens at church, but right now we are involved in a church with mostly young members. For now, I will just stay close to my dear aunts and uncles. I send them emails, birthday cards, and call them occasionally. I am always amazed at how appreciative they are. It is something that doesn't take a lot of effort on my part, but it certainly means a lot.

Spiritually Dry?

I think I am feeling spiritually dry.

I haven't been wanting to put on my cross necklace ("It's too much trouble"). I haven't been wanting to listen to my Christian radio stations ("They keep playing the same songs over and over"). I would rather watch The Beverly Hillbillies or The Cosby Show while I walk on the treadmill instead of EWTN or Beth Moore ("I could use a good laugh"). I would rather blog pictures of food and my kitchen than write about my spiritual life ("I didn't read anything interesting and pictures are easy and I don't feel like thinking so hard").

This is the "Prayer for Power" in my Dieter's Prayer Book this morning:

Dear God,

I truly want to be healed!

At least I think I do.

Show me if there is any part of met that has become content

with a cycle of striving and failing.

I don't want to sit poolside any longer.

I surrender my excuses--

all the reasons why I can't seem to overcome

certain familiar sins or cycles of defeat.

I am ready,

I am willing.

I want to be whole!

I want my life to be full and exciting because I am living it for You.

Don't let me be seduced by the subtle lie

that life is more meaningful when I am wrapped up

in a war with my appetites.

Deliver me.

Heal me, and I will take up my life,

new, fuller,

and give You all my thanks and praise.

Amen.

During my quiet time this morning, I half-heartedly read this and didn't pay much attention to the words. During the time I spent getting ready and particularly getting dressed and spending 10 minutes on the treadmill, God spoke to my heart and revealed to me the places where I have been moving away from Him. I am taking action. I switched the TV to EWTN. I cleaned my cross necklace and have it on. I pulled the Father Stan CD off the shelf and ripped it to iTunes and will take it to work today (I had promised months ago to bring it for a co-worker to listen to and kept forgetting). Today I will make the effort to draw close to God instead of pull away from Him.

Thank you God for speaking to me this morning. Your servant is listening. Amen.

Green Kitchen

Kitchen 05-28 002
Originally uploaded by charity.byar

We spent the day painting yesterday. I've been planning on painting the kitchen this color for a long time, but had a little shock when it started going on the ceiling. We originally planned on painting the walls a shade darker, but decided to paint it all the same once we got started.

My healthy eating is surviving this kitchen work. I've only had abnormal takeout food three times. Last night we had Outback, but it is normal to have that about every other week.

Strawberries

Strawberries
Originally uploaded by charity.byar

Fresh strawberries from our garden, chocolate syrup, fat free whipped topping, and a square of Ghirardelli dark chocolate.

Grace

What is the grace of God? The grace of God says you serve God because you are saved, not in order to be saved. You love people because you're saved, and not in order to be saved. You're not trying to keep a legalistic system, you're responding to a system of love and peace. What is grace? It's what someone gives us out of the goodness of their heart, not out of the perfection of ours. The story of grace is the good news that says that when we come, he gives. That's what grace is. Grace is a pleasant surprise. Grace is a kind gesture. Grace is something you did not expect. It is something you certainly could never earn. But grace is something you'd never turn down. You know what happens when someone sees the grace of God? When someone really tastes the forgiving and liberating grace of God? Someone who tastes God's grace is the hardest worker, the most morally pure individual, and the person most willing to forgive. ~ From The Inspirational Bible, "Grace", via my Devotional Bible

I think this is what is so life-changing about the Walk to Emmaus. During that 3 day weekend you really experience the Grace of God through the Body of Christ. Knowing His grace and experiencing His love changes the way the world looks. It is like seeing things in color instead of black and white. Hence the saying, "De Colores" (in colors).

Fruit Salad

Fruit Salad
Originally uploaded by charity.byar

I made this salad last weekend to take to my sister's house. It contains watermelon, peaches, pears, green grapes, and cherries with a honey, lime juice and cinnamon dressing.

I original saw the dressing recipe on a television spot by the local extension agent when I was in elementary school. The original recipe was just honey and cinnamon, but I added the lime juice last weekend and it seems to keep the fruit from browning too quickly.

Charity's Diet

Charity enjoys a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables (excluding raw tomatoes and olives). Favorite fruits are watermelon, frozen grapes, and berries. Favorite vegetables are colorful salads, asparagus, butternut squash, and Healthy Valley Garden Vegetable Soup.

Meats Charity usually eats are lean proteins, particularly chicken breast and beef sirloin, with occasional higher-fat cuts of beef. She likes using various marinades and rubs on grilled meats.

Charity's diet includes 2-3 servings of dairy each day. These are normally Braum's non-fat sugar-free yogurt, Braum's 1% milk, and cheese in limited quanities.

She also tries to include small (28 gm) servings of nuts in her daily diet. Favorites are pecans, cashews, macadamia nuts, almonds and Smuckers Natural Peanut Butter with Honey

The whole grains in Charity's diet come from oatmeal (usually old-fashioned, but occasionally instant) and Garden for Life sprouted grain products.

Healthy fats in Charity's diet come from Smart Balance Spread, olive oil and vinegar salad dressings, nuts (mentioned above), and the occasional avocado.

Chocolate is an important part of any diet, and Charity's favorite treats are Sugar Free Chocolate Fudge Pudding prepared with 1% Milk and Organic Dark Chocolate. She also likes to add 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder in her morning coffee.

Beverages of choice are Ozarka bottled water or reverse osmosis water and green tea. She enjoys one cup of coffee daily containing 1/4 cup powdered milk and sweetner daily. She also enjoys an almost daily glass of wine.

To avoid food cravings Charity avoids refined sugars, flours and processed foods, especially those containing high fructose/maltose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils. She does use artificial sweetners including spelda, stevia, and nutrasweet.

Quotes from Brother Lawrence

God alone is capable of making Himself known as He really is; we search in reasoning and in the sciences, as in a poor copy, for what we neglect to see in an excellent original. God Himself paints Himself in the depths of our souls. We must enliven our faith and elevate ourselves by means of the faith, above all our feelings, to adore God the Father and Jesus Christ in all their divine perfections.

The prayer time was really taken at both the beginning and the end of my work. At the beginning of my duties, I would say to the Lord with confidence,

"My God, since you are with me and since, by Your will, I must occupy myself with external things, please grant me the grace to remain with You, in Your presence. Work with me, so that my work might be the very best. Receive as an offering of love both my work and all my affections."

During my work, I would always continue to speak to the Lord as though He were right with me, offering Him my services and thanking Him for His assistance. Also, at the end of my work, I used to examine it carefully. If I found good in it, I thanked God. If I noticed faults, I asked His forgiveness without being discouraged, and then went on with my work, still dwelling in Him. Thus, continuing in the practice of conversing with God throughout each day and quickly seeking His forgiveness when I fell or strayed, His presence has become as easy and natural to me now as it once was difficult to maintain.

Get to know me better...

Here is one of those "get to know me better" things someone sent me:

1. Do you know anyone in Prison?
I know some people who have been in prison.

2. Have you ever logged onto a bf/gf/crush's myspace page?
I don't have a boyfriend/crush, but I have logged onto to my husband's.

3. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
I can't remember, but I had peanut butter toast on Saturday.

4. I wonder what happened to question 4?

5. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
No.

6. Name someone you miss.
My parents.

7. Are you named after a grandparent?
No.

8. Who loves you?
God, my husband, probably my family and close friends.

9. Have you ever broken a rib?
No, thank goodness!

10. Would you rather be a girl or a guy?
Girl.

11. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
Pumpkin - my step-granddaughter.

12. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
True Love, but it would be nice to have a million dollars for my true love and I to spend.

13. Have you ever had sex in church?
No, that would just be wrong and weird.

14. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?
I don't have a boyfriend, but my husband isn't.

15. I wonder what this one was?

16. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?
I'm not interested in dating anyone because I'm married. Sugar Pop is 16 years older than me, by the way.

17. What's your favorite junk food?
I don't really eat any junk food...I guess I would have to say candy.

18. Do you have a porn collection?
No...that's nasty.

19. Is your birthday on a holiday?
No.

20. Are you old enough to vote?
Yes...for 20 years now.

21. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?
I don't think so, but I have a BIG family so it's possible I could have a distant cousin there.

22. Are you a vegetarian?
No. I'm a Texas Girl - I love my Beef!

23. Do you worry about global warming?
No...God is in control and He created this great planet.

24. Do you like polar bears?
Yes.

25. What song do you want played at your funeral?
There's a Stirring

26. Did you lose your virginity to your neighbour?
No. (Who came up with these questions?)

27. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true?
I don't remember what my childhood dreams were.

28. Do you wear your boyfriend/girlfriends clothes?
I have when I had a boyfriend and I thought it was cool to sleep in their t-shirts. Now I'm married and I sleep in the buff (too much information?)

29. Are you a country or city girl/boy?
Country Girl - Learned how to drive a tractor and a car on the same day.

30.Are you taller than 5'6"?
Yes, I am 5'7"

31. Do you consider yourself spoiled?
I consider myself very blessed!

Abundance

The following question was in an email I received from Thrive!:

Do I have an abundance of the things I need to live comfortably?
The term "comfortable" means different things to different people. Make it a goal in your life to not aim for "enough," but to have "more than enough" of what you need -
whether it's time, money, love, space or other precious resources. When you live in abundance, you can focus more clearly on what you want. It empowers you to share yourself, your time, talent, and love more generously.

I did not like this question. I think it implies that we should be striving to increase the resources we have instead of being content with less. I do feel like I have everything I need to live comfortably, because I choose to live below my means. Sugar Pop and I were discussing houses and house payments last night because one of his co-workers is house hunting. When we bought our house, we could have qualified for a bigger house (and a bigger house payment). But because we made the decision to buy a less expensive house, we have more discretionary income to spend on other things and to be able to give more. Because we choose to limit the activities were are involved in, we have more time to spend together and with family. Because we don't have "shows" we must watch on television, we aren't tied to the television schedule. I love living simply and I want to continue to simplify my life because it frees me and enables me to be content with less.

Hope That Never Lets You Down

This is what I received from Joel Osteen yesterday:

Today's Scripture
“Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5)
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Even Christians can sometimes feel hopeless and powerless to overcome adversities. Maybe you feel trapped in your job, (italics mine) or your marriage is in trouble and there doesn’t seem to be an answer. You may have a child who is on the wrong path. Or maybe you are single and have given up any hope of ever meeting the right person. But no matter where you are, God can turn your situation around—and it could start happening today! If you believe with all your heart that God has something great around the corner for you, then hope will take over. God’s hope is such a powerful thing that it can keep you going when practically nothing else can. That’s because God’s hope will never fail or let you down, even if everything else does.
A Prayer for Today
God, thank You for giving me never-ending hope. I confess today that I will live confidently in Your hope because I know I’ll never be let down. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Having God's "Unreasonable" Faith

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33

When we look at these words of Jesus, we immediately find them to be the most revolutionary that human ears have ever heard. "...seek first the kingdom of God..." Even the most spiritually minded of us argue the exact the opposite, saying, "But I must live; I must make a certain amount of money; I must be clothed; I must be fed." The great concern of our lives is not the kingdom of God, but how we are going to take care of ourselves to live. Jesus reversed the order by telling us to get the right relationship with God first, maintaining it as the primary concern of our lives, and never to place our concern on taking care of the other things of life.

"...do not worry about your life..." (6:25). Our Lord pointed out that from His standpoint it is absolutely unreasonable for us to be anxious, worrying about how we will live. Jesus did not say that the person who takes no thought for anything in his life is blessed - no, that person is a fool. But Jesus did teach that His disciple must make his relationship with God the dominating focus of his life, and to be cautiously carefree about everything else in comparison to that. In essence, Jesus was saying, "Don't make food and drink the controlling factor of your life, but be focused absolutely on God." Some people are careless about what they eat and drink, and they suffer for it; they are careless about what they wear, having no business looking the way they do; they are careless with their earthly matters, and God holds them responsible. Jesus is saying that the greatest concern of the life is to place our relationship to God first, and everything else second.

It is one of the most difficult, yet critical, disciplines of the Christian life to allow the Holy Spirit to bring us into absolute harmony with the teaching of Jesus in these verses.

Washing Feet

From A Gentle Thunder by Max Lucado via the Christ Through the Bible section of my devotional bible:

Jesus Washes Our Feet

I don't understand how God can be so kind to us, but he is. He kneels before us, takes our feet in his hands, and washes them. Please understand that in washing the disciples' feet, Jesus is washing ours. You and I are in this story. We are at the table. That's us being cleansed, not from our dirt, but from our sins...

Don't miss the meaning here. To place our feet in the basin of Jesus is to place the filthiest pasts of our lives into his hands. In the ancient East, people's feet were caked with mud and dirt. The servant of the feast saw to it that the feet were cleaned. Jesus is assuming the role of the servant. He will wash the grimiest part of your life.

If you let him. The water of the Servant comes only when we confess that we are dirty. Only when we confess that we are caked with filth, that we have walked forbidden trails and followed the wrong paths.

We tend to be proud like Peter and resist. "I'm not that dirty, Jesus. Just sprinkle a few drops on me and I'll be fine."

What a life! "If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us" (1 John 1:8).

We will never be cleansed until we confess we are dirty. We will never be pure until we admit we are filthy. And we will never be able to wash the feet of those who have hurt us until we allow Jesus, the one we have hurt, to wash ours.

You see, that is the secret of forgiveness. You will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you. Only by letting him wash your feet can you have strength to wash those of another.

Kitchen Project

The kitchen project is about to begin. The original plan was to take out the furdown above the kitchen cabinets, put new molding around the tops of the cabinets, knock off the popcorn ceiling, take down the wallpaper, put a heavy texture on the walls, repaint, and get new light fixtures. As of yesterday, we've also decided to get rid of the tile countertop and backsplash and replace with formica which also means getting a new sink and we will get a new stovetop. I'm stressed out all ready. There is going to be construction dust all over the house. My eating routine is going to be thrown for a loop, but I know when it is all completed, it will be worth it. I just hope I don't gain 10 pounds in the process.

Here are the before photos:

www.flickr.com

Living Simply

The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their ontinual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and "the lilies of the field" -- simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us.

If you want to be of use to God, maintain the proper relationship with Jesus Christ by staying focused on Him, and He will make use of you every minute you live -- yet you will be unaware, on the conscious level of your life, that you are being used of Him. ~ My Utmost for His Highest

This reminded me of my mother. She was quiet and always working in the background. She served at our church, but didn't draw attention to herself. I'm not even sure most people knew of the work she did - preparing flowers (from her garden) for the altar, keeping the supply closet for religion classes organized and prepared, filling in for the usual organ player, allowing the priest to come over and use our washer & dryer and have lunch with us. I don't think my siblings ever knew that she would always attend Mass on their birthdays. She loved to do kind things for other people and I'm sure there are many lives she touched that I don't know about. I want to be like my mom.

The LORD decided his servant would suffer as a sacrifice to take away the sin and guilt of others. Now the servant will live to see his own descendants. He did everything the LORD had planned. By suffering, the servant will learn the true meaning of obeying the LORD. Although he is innocent, he will take the punishment for the sins of others, so that many of them will no longer be guilty. The LORD will reward him with honor and power for sacrificing his life. Others thought he was a sinner, but he suffered for our sins and asked God to forgive us. ~ Isaiah 53:10-12 (CEV)

He usually gets what He wants

From Traveling Light by Max Lucado via the Life Lesson Devotional in my Bible

In God's plan every life is long enough and every death is timely. And though you and I might wish for a longer life, God knows better.

And--this is important--though you and I may wish a longer life for our loved ones, they don't. Ironically, the first to accept God's decision of death is the one who dies.

While we are shaking heads in disbelief, they are lifting hands in worship. While we are mourning at a grave, they are marveling at heaven. While we are questioning God, they are praising God.

But, Max, what of those who die with no faith? My husband never prayed. My grandpa never worshiped. My mother never opened a Bible, much less her heart. What about the one who never believed?

How do we know he didn't?

Who among us is privy to a person's final thoughts? Who among us knows what transpires in those final moments? Are you sure no prayer was offered? Eternity can bend the proudest knees. Could a person stare into the waning canyon of death without whispering a plea for mercy? And could our God, who is partial to the humble, resist it?

He couldn't on Calvary. The confession of the thief on the cross was both a first and final one. But Christ heard it. Christ received it. Maybe you never heard your loved one confess Christ, but who's to say Christ didn't?

We don't know the final thoughts of a dying soul, but we know this. We know our God is a good God. "He does not want anyone to be lost, but he wants all people to change their hearts and lives" (2 Peter 3:9). He wants your loved one in heaven more than you do. And he usually gets what he wants.

The Habit of Having No Habits

When we first begin to form a habit, we are fully aware of it...until they become such a spontaneous expression of our lives that we are no longer aware of them. ~ My Utmost for His Highest

This is talking about godly habits, but it got me to thinking about my daily healthy habits. There are some things in my life that started out as a struggle to do every day, but now I just do them without thinking about it. There are still some habits that I am still aware of and have to work on doing every day, but here is a list of things that are no longer habits, but just part of my life.

Drinking at least 4 20 oz bottles of water
Journalling my food every day
Running the dishwasher every night and unloading it every morning
Making the bed every morning
Taking my vitamins
Taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work
Wearing a pedometer

Don't Let Your Hope be Stolen

(From a daily email I get from Joel Osteen)

Today's Scripture
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
The enemy has a goal for your life. He wants to steal your hope and joy, he wants to make you so discouraged that you just quit and give it all up. He knows that if you get discouraged and down, you will eventually settle for less than the best, and less than what God wants from you. The right attitude and mindset will prepare you for your miracle, but that can't happen if you're down and discouraged. God may take His time to accomplish what He wants to do in your life, but you can't lose heart and allow the enemy to claim victory. God will allow everything to pass as He sees fit. Your job is to have an attitude of expectancy. The rest is up to God!

A Prayer for Today
God, I know that Your timing is not always my timing. With Your help, I want to hold on to my hope and joy today as I wait for Your answer. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Take The Initiative - From My Utmost for His Highest

"...add to your faith virtue..." 2 Peter 1:5
Add means that we have to do something. We are in danger of forgetting that we cannot do what God does, and that God will not do what we can do. We cannot save nor sanctify ourselves -- God does that. But God will not give us good habits or character, and He will not make us walk correctly before Him. We have to do all that ourselves. We must "work out" our "own salvation" which God has worked in us. (Philippians 2:12) Add means that we must get into the habit of doing things, and in the initial stages that is difficult. To take the initiative is to make a beginning -- to instruct yourself in the way you must go.
Beware of the tendency to ask the way when you know it perfectly well. Take the initiative -- stop hesitating -- take the first step. Be determined to act immediately in faith on what God says to you when He speaks, and never reconsider or change your initial decisions. If you hesitate when God tells you to do something, you are being careless, spurning the grace in which you stand. Take the initiative yourself, make a decision of your will right now, and make it impossible to go back. Burn your bridges behind you, saying, "I will write that letter," or "I will pay that debt"; and then do it! Make it irrevocable.
We have to get into the habit of carefully listening to God about everything, forming the habit of finding out what He says and heeding it. If, when a crisis comes, we instinctively turn to God, we will know that the habit has been formed in us. We have to take the initiative where we are, not where we have not yet been.

The purpose of our trials is not only to test our worthiness but also to increase it, just as the mighty oak is tested by the stormed as well as strengthened by them. ~ Streams in the Desert, 8/2

I do not expect high place in heaven; I shall be thankful for a little corner where I may love God for all eternity. ~ Blessed Marianne Cope

I do not regret leaving this world; my soul thirsts for the waters of eternal life. My exile is over. I touch the soil of my real country; earth vanished, heaven opens, I go to God. ~ St. Theophane Venard

Those who share in the sufferings Jesus endured for our sake win more treasure for their family than do others who become millionaires. ~ Blessed John XXIII

The only one who has a right to shape our lives is Jesus Christ. We must determine to allow nothing and no one to shape us, not even our own personal experiences, unless they are consistent with the promises of God. In truth, who is ruling out lives, God or our experiences? ~ Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlefields

Trying to be an adult in a world full of children

At some point in life, each one of us must decide what is his highest joy; for the thing that delights us directs us. Generally speaking, a child finds his delight in what he has; a youth in what he does; and an adult in what he is. The first lives for possessions, the second for the experiences, and the third for character. We do not condemn the child or the youth for so living, because neither has reached maturity, but we would certainly wonder at an adult who lived on those lower levels. ~ From Live Like a King by Warren Wiersbe via my Life Lesson Devotional

When I read this, I went to Amazon to find out when it was written because it doesn't seem that our society is condemning adults for living at the lower levels of seeking possessions and experiences. In fact, from what "they" (the media) would have us believe, the only thing worth seeking is possessions and experiences. (In case your curious too, it was written in 1975.) No wonder I can't stand to watch regular television...it is geared for children and I am trying to become an adult.

He continues...

So, every person has an outlook on life, he is seeking his highest joy. Outlook determines outcome. Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the stars and become the friend of God by faith. Lot lifted up his eyes and saw Sodom and became the friend of the world. Abraham inherited the city prepared for him by God, the city he had been seeking; but Lot lost everything when Sodom went up in smoke. If life is to be rich and meaningful, then our joys must be the highest possible and Jesus tells us that the highest joy possible is to see God.

I want to seek after the highest possible joy. I can't go on living and seeking after the things the world wants me to, I must seek after God. God is the only place I can find joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Everything else is just a substitute and will never fill the God-shaped whole in my heart. Augstine said, "You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You." Amen!

The faithful Christian must not allow any day to pass without devoting some time to reading, meditation, and prayer...for holy reading shows the way to heaven, meditation travels it, and prayer attains the goal. ~ St. Thomas of Villanova

Our sins can weigh us down with discouragement. St. Ignatius of Loyola tells us that discouragement is never from God because it clouds faith and hope. God's love does not deal in punishment as human vengeance does. God's love disciplines us in order to free and purify us - sometimes a painful process - so that we may not die but live in Christ. ~ Magnificat, 7-28-6

God is all mercy and stands with open arms to admit us to his glory. ~ St. Catherine of Genoa

God is true: He has a long memory for his own promises and a short memory for our failures to keep ours. ~ Magnificat, 8-2-6

Panties!

Oh Happy Day!

I went to Target this morning for a battery for my pedometer (which I didn't find) and I cruised by the underwear section to see if by any chance they had any of my favorite panties. I didn't think they would because I haven't been able to find them in about a year and they are not available online. THEY HAD THEM! Yippee! I bought 8 packages of 3 so I have 24 new Gilligan & O'Malley Cotton Hipsters. I am so thrilled. I love these panties - the openings of the slightest banding that doesn't give me panty lines, they are lowrise so no worries about them being seen when I sit and, best of all, they do not crawl.

Praise the Lord for New Panties!

Momentum

It's important to make plans for tomorrow, next week or next year. But there is a difference between planning for tomorrow and living there, making so many plans in our heads that our focus remains in the future rather than the here and now...We must focus on today and the tasks at hand while leaving the worries of what will happen tomorrow in God's hands. ~ Lose it for Life Day by Day

It seems my mind is always swimming with lists of things I need to do and want to do and often times that prevents me from doing anything. I almost feel paralyzed to act while the to do list piles up around me. I begin to procrastinate because I don't know where to start. Then I really lose focus and would rather sit and play a computer game or read blogs than accomplish anything. However, if I can get moving and start seeing some progress, I feel AWESOME and that momentum keeps me going. Often times, just setting a timer for 15 minutes and telling myself I only have to work for 15 minutes is enough to get the pendulum swinging again. That is what I am doing today - 15 minutes of work on my to do list and then a 15 minute break to relax, read blogs, play on the computer, whatever.

I got up at 8:30 this morning and I already feel like I have accomplished a lot:
had my quiet time
washed, dried, and remade the bed
emptied the dishwasher
had breakfast (Sugar Pop cooked)
filed out a rebate form
paid a few bills and reconciled the checkbook
and in 5 minutes we will be going for a walk

I see a very productive day on the horizon and it makes me happy.

Fitting In or Standing Apart?

Questions from the Life Lesson Devotional:

How deeply do you care about fitting in and being like the world? What are the areas of your life where you blend in with those around you when you should not? Ask God to give you the courage and conviction to stand apart when you should.

The first thing that comes to my mind is with my eating habits (not very spiritual, huh?). I tend to try to fit in with the crowd and eat what others are eating. This is the biggest problem at office parties (actually any party) and when we go out with friends.

The other thing that comes to my mind is with my speech - talking about other people, making fun of people, being overly critical and judgemental. OR just being silent when other people are doing it.

There are probably more. I have emailed these questions to work so I can think about them today and pray for God to give me the courage and conviction to stand apart.

God of Perfect Timing

I read this yesterday at Happy Catholic:

Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To: Divine Answers to Life's Most Difficult Problems by Anthony DeStefano
... One thing that you learn as you progress in the spiritual life is that God is a God of perfect timing. Since he is able to see the "big picture," he knows just when you should move on and when you should stay where you are. And sometimes before you move on he has to "arrange" a thousand different details in order to make that move possible. That arranging takes time.People who travel frequently on airplanes know just what I mean, because they have experienced the frustration of "circling." Usually this happens near the end of the flight, just when you're most anxious to get off the plane ... you've gone into the dreaded holding pattern... The point is that, despite the frustration of the passengers, and despite the pilot's ability to freely control his aircraft, another entity -- air-traffic control -- has made an over-riding decision to prevent the plane from landing. And there's just nothing that anyone can do about it.The very same thing often happens to us in life. We can decide what we want to do and where we want to go, but God is still in charge of "air-traffic control." He sees everything on his omniscient radar screen -- the weather, the airport, all the other planes in the area. Sometimes, for reasons he may or may not disclose, he decides that the best thing for us to do is remain in a "holding pattern." While we're busy circling, he's busy clearing obstacles, solving problems and moving people around until things are just right. Then and only then does he permit us to come in for a safe, smooth landing.

I had prayed earlier in the morning that God would give me a message of encouragement on my job situation. This was an answered prayer.

Product

I use a lot of "product" every day. A limited amount of hair product - but lots of other products.

Shampoo
2 types of conditioner
soap
facial cleanser
lotion
toner
moisturizer
2 eye creams
lip balm
deodorant
spray on conditioner (yes, I have dry hair)
sometimes a hair product
concealer
foundation
blush
2 eye shadows
2 eye liners
mascara
lip primer
lip liner
lip gloss
hand lotion
foot creme (night-time)
cuticle creme (night-time)
perfume

Then there are the optional "pampering" things - various facial masks, facial scrubs, body scrubs, hand scrubs, deep conditioners, shave gel (I don't shave my legs everyday), self-tanner.

Whew! No wonder I struggle to get ready in under an hour. I would really like to get ready in about 45 minutes but I do like to take LONG showers.

Pap Results

Two weeks ago, I had my 4 month follow up pap smear from the LEEP I had in December. She said she would call if the results were abnormal and just send a letter if the results were normal. Well, after being gone for a week, I figured I would have a letter in the mail - Nothing. Slightly paranoid. There were no phone calls showing on the caller ID from the doctor though, but the paranoia said that maybe she had tried my office number first and find out I was on vacation. I had hoped that the place we get are mail delivered had some mail stuck back for us because are box was full from being gone for a week. I had a dream on Saturday night that the doctor called and I had abnormal results. Increased paranoia. Yesterday, I had Sugar Pop ask at the UPS Store if they had any more mail for us - nothing. More paranoid. I didn't want to call the doctor because I was afraid of bad news, but finally told myself that if it was bad I would have to find out sooner or later and if it was good and could relax and stop being paranoid. So, I called this morning. The nurse called me back and my pap smear was NORMAL! Yeah...paranoid for nothing. They did send a letter - who knows where that went (and I wonder what other mail we haven't received).

Anyway...I'm happy that I'm normal and the LEEP has worked. YEAH! If anyone has any questions about a LEEP (now or if you just happened upon this post at a later date because you are having to get one), feel free to comment and I will be happy to answer any questions.

It is everywhere!

Why is that there is food everywhere, all the time?

There is a bible study starting at our church this week and I've been trying to decide whether to attend. Apart from the time commitment (2 hrs, once a week for 7 weeks plus daily homework), there is something else that concerns me. The description of the class says, "This is a wonderful time of food, fellowship, and an awesome study experience for women of all ages." FOOD! Listed first. Like it is the most important part.

I do not need any food temptations, but the class name is intriguing - Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer. Has anyone ever done this study?

Did you miss me?

Did you notice I was gone for a week? Sugar Pop and I went to Nashville for GMA Week and the Dove Awards. We had a really good time and got to listen to a LOT of Christian artists peform. Hopefully, we made some good contacts for Sugar Pops music, but only time will tell what develops on that front. The excitement of the week for me was getting to meet Mike & Jeannie from the Air1 Morning Show.

So, after a week of being away from home, eating whatever whenever, and not exercising, the scale was up 2.4 lbs. I was amazed that it wasn't more. My six week maintenance period is now officially over and I am returning to weight loss points again. My 20 year high school reunion is in 48 days and I have 8.6 lbs to lose to be back at my goal weight. Not impossible, but not a breeze either.

I am happy to be back home and back to my healthy habits and healthy eating and exercise. After a week of indulging, it feels good to return to discipline.

Peace

Today my quiet time has involved mainly quiet - just sitting and resting in God's presence. Most days I do my bible reading, but this has been a busy week and it seems my mind has been churning all day every day. It was nice to just sit in the quiet with God. I have His peace in my heart this morning and I want to bask in His love all day.

Obedience

False religion seeks a peace of heart through all the wrong ways. A true relationship with God requires wholehearted obedience, not a token sacrifice. ~ Life Lesson in my Devotional Bible

What pleases the Lord more: burnt offering and sacrifices or obedience to his voice? It is better to obey than to sacrifice. It is better to listen to God than to offer the fat of sheep. ~ 1 Samuel 15:22

Doing what is right and fair is more important to the Lord than sacrifices. ~ Proverbs 21:3

I want faithful love more than I want animal sacrifices. I want people to know me more than I want burnt offerings. ~ Hosea 6:6

Many people think God requires us to follow a set of rules and that He is just looking for us to screw up so He can punish us. That is not true. God loves us and wants what is best for us. He doesn't give us rules so that he can catch us doing wrong or keep us from having fun. He gives us rules to protect us. Parents don't tell their children not to cross the street because to spoil their fun. They tell their kids not to cross the street because they don't want them to get hit by a car. It is the same with God. When we are obedient to Him, we are actually free. Free from the troubles that are caused by our own sin. It is a glorious place to be.

O God, our Healer and our Good, you sent your Son to cure the world's sickness by taking upon himself the burden of its guilt. Heal the diseased vision which causes us to mistake evil for good; heal the sickened mind which causes us to mistake selfishness for love; heal the unhealthy habits which we have made our own, that we may stand before you, whole in body, soul, and spirit, to sing your praises for ever with all the saints, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. ~ Magnificat 7-21-06

Human need of every kind cries out to God for healing. The sharpest cry is the plea of the human heart betrayed and wounded by the sin of self and others. The Lord hears every call for help and heals by taking upon himself the suffering of all who are impoverished and weakened by failure, sin, and death. ~ Magnificat 7-21-06

Jesus Christ is the only friend who never abandons anyone. He it is who in our last moments comes to visit us on our bed of pain. Let us, therefore, remain united with him by prayer and Holy Communion. ~ St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier

I adore you, O my God, and render you homage, with all my heart by loving you , with all my soul by praising you, and with all my mind by submitting it to faith. ~ Magnificat 7-21-6

Readiness

READINESS
"God called to him...And he said, 'Here am I'" Exodus 3:4
When God speaks, many of us are like people in a fog, we give no answer. Moses' reply revealed that he he knew where he was and that he was ready. Readiness means having a right relationship to God and having the knowledge of where we are. We are so busy telling God where we would like to go. Yet the man or woman who is ready for God and His work is the one who receives the prize when the summons comes. We wait with the idea that some great opportunity or something sensational will be coming our way, and when it does come we are quick to cry, "Here I am." Whenever we sense that Jesus Christ is rising up to take authority over some great task, we are there, but we are not ready for some obscure duty.
Readiness for God means that we are prepared to do the smallest thing or the largest thing--it makes no difference. It means we have no choice in what we want to do, but that whatever God's plan may be we are there and ready. Whenenver any duty presents itself, we hear God's voice, and we are ready for it with the total readiness of our love for Him. Jesus Christ expects to do with us just as His Father did with Him. He can put us wherever He wants, in pleasant duties or in mean duties, because our union with Him is the same as His union with the Father. "That they may be one, even as We are one."
Be ready for the sudden surprise visits of God. A ready person never needs to get ready--he is ready. Think of the time we waste trying to get ready once God has called! The burning bush is a symbol of everything that surrounds the person who is ready, and it is on fire with the presence of God Himself. ~ Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

I thought it was interesting that this was my devotional reading this morning, the day following my post about procrastination. I need to break this procrastination habit so that I can be ready for the things God wants me to do.

Perfectionism and Procrastination

Today Beula wrote about this topic. A few days ago, Vickie mentioned the same topic. I suffer from these. Actually, I have a tendency to be proud of my perfectionism, but unfortunately it leads to procrastination which is quite embarrassing to me. I hate that I am a procrastinator. It causes me many difficulties.

For example, on Friday afternoon at work I was doing property tax renditions - that were due on Monday. They HAD TO BE in the mail on Friday and I was doing them at the last minute. I have had the forms since JANUARY! Why do I put these things off? I don't know if that is related to my perfectionism...or if it is just matter of not working on things until they absolutely positively have to be done.

I feel so much better when I stay on top of things that need to be done. But when I start lagging behind, I become paralyzed and I don't accomplish anything. I just can't get started. It is like my brain and my body just freeze and all my mind wants to do is play solitaire on the computer, while projects pile up around me.

However, if I can get myself moving and keep the momentum going, I can accomplish so much. I can be very efficient with my time and even amaze myself at how much I can do a little amount of time.

The problem is getting started. A helpful thing I learned from Fly Lady is setting a timer. Just setting a timer for 15 minutes and telling myself that I only have to work for 15 minutes is often all I need to get myself moving. And then once I am moving, I tend to stay in motion. But there are still days where I can not even motivate myself to set the timer. Why is that?

(By the way, I finally got my houseplants watered this evening. Poor houseplants, they are being neglected.)

Five Questions

Vickie is playing a game. Here are the five questions that she sent me:

If you were an animal, what would it be?
I've always liked cats - they are very indepedent, quiet, curious, flexible, but they can protect themselves and fend for themselves when they need to.

What is your favorite NAME of all time - could be a person, a product, a town - whatever and why.
Jesus - The Name Above All Names. The Name by which I am saved.

What is the one everyday thing - that needs doing at your house right now - that you just keep putting off?
I really need to water my house plants (which I will probably go do after I finish this).

What was your favorite thing about your first teacher?
I liked that she also played the organ at the church we attended, so I knew her outside of school.

Who is the current/living American/countryman of whom you are the proudest?
Father Frank Pavone with Priests for Life. He tirelessly works to promote the culture of life in our country, often times against very strong opposition.

Here are the instructions to continue:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by posting five questions on your blog. I get to pick the questions. (so you have to have the set up where I click on your name and it takes me to your blog).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation andan offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed,you will ask them five questions.

We Cannot Keep the Great News to Ourselves

To Mary Magdalene the Lord said: "Do not cling to me for I have not yet ascended to the Father" (John 20:17). This is an expression that surprises us, especially when we compare it to what happens with the incredulous Thomas. There, in the cenacle, it was the Risen One himself who presented his hands and his side so that Thomas touch them and find the certainty that it was Jesus (cf. 20:27). In reality the two episodes are not opposed to each other; on the contrary, the one helps us understand the other.

Mary Magdalene wanted to have the same master as before, taking the cross to be a dramatic memory to forget. Now, however, there is no room for a merely human relationship with the Risen One. To encounter him one need not go back but place oneself into a new relationship with him: One must go forward! St. Bernard emphasizes this: Jesus "invites all of us to this new life, to this passage.… We do not see Christ if we turn backward" (Sermon on Easter). This is what happened to Thomas. Jesus showed him his wounds not so as to forget the cross, but to make it unforgettable even in the future.

It is toward the future that our gaze in now directed. The task of the disciple is to bear witness to the death and Resurrection of his master and his new life. For this reason Jesus invites his incredulous friend to "touch him": He wants to give direct testimony of his resurrection.

Dear brothers and sisters, we too, like Mary Magdalene, Thomas and the other apostles, are called to be witnesses of the death and resurrection of Christ. We cannot keep the great news to ourselves. We must tell it to all the world: "We have seen the Lord!" (John 20:25). ~ Pope Benedict XVI

Today it is Quotes from my Hand-Written Journal

Just as a soldier never ceases to train for battle and prepares in sham warfare for the real wounds that are to come, every Christian must exercise self-restraint at all times, but especially when the enemy is near at hand with his well-trained hosts marshaled against us. ~ St. Jerome

God wants you to live for today. Worrying about yesterday or tomorrow steals today. But the great I AM has given you just enough grace for today. Grace for yesterday is all used up and grace for tomorrow will not come until tomorrow. So use the favor and power of the Holy Spirit to do His will right now.

God in His power is refuge and strength; God in His mercy is the river that refreshes the soul; God in His beauty stills all our useless struggles and gathers us into His peace.

Pride sets subtle snares. Whenever we imagine we are in control of life - our own or someone else's - we have fallen prey to the ancient whisper in the Garden: "You shall be like gods." Mortality is the enduring reminder that we become like God not by our own power but by the power of the cross.

True gentleness is so considerate, so tactful, and so active that, when we meet it, we are always astonished that it can do us so much good, while at the same time apparently giving us nothing. ~ Louis Lavelle

Purity comes from heaven; we must ask for it from God. If we ask for it, we shall obtain it. We must take great care not to lose it. ~ St. John Vianney

Items from my Fitness Notebook

If you want to reach your dream, you must stay past the point you normally would have given up. ~ Unknown

Life boils down to a choice. Are you going to let life get you down or are you doing to take control and make the outcome what you want it to be?

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you take a day off from exercising, do at least 3 things that will keep you moving towards your goals during your off day. ~ Unknown

Preparation yesterday will help make today productive, and productivity today will help make tomorrow's dream a reality. ~ Unknown

It isn't sufficient just to want -- you've got to ask yourself what you are going to do to get the things you want. ~ F.D. Roosevelt

A cookie lasts as long as it takes to chew it, but a healthy lifestyle lasts a lifetime! ~ Unknown

Life tends to get in the way of fitness goals. Don't let it push you around. Make time. Your health is that important. ~ Unknown

Today, THINK about WHO you want to be, WHAT that person would choose when faced with a difficult food choice and BE that person!!! Let healthy thoughts control you today! ~ Unknown

We can take a stand for our lives by saying no to certain foods and behaviors. Yes, we have the opportunity to choose to gorge on sweets, but that's not freedom, that's slavery. ~ Unknown

Being proactive will go a long way in our recovery from food and weight issues. We must be on guard, watching for temptations and praying for God's guidance and strength in each new situation. If we walk about unaware, we will easily fall into serving our flesh -- giving into the tempting gratification of binging. But as we instead live away of our surroundings, predictable traps, and our own weaknesses, we can then walk in the spirit and provision that comes from God. ~ Lose it for Life Day by Day - May 23rd

Real Beauty

Dee posted this article today. I really liked it and want to save it for myself to read again.

You and I live in a world where beauty is a sad plastic imitation of the real thing. Real beauty is a thousand skin tones and languages, different smiles, personalities and hairstyles. Real beauty doesn't matter if you're wearing a frilly skirt and ballet flats or a lacrosse uniform. It has nothing to do with your jean size or your height.

It has everything to do with what He says about you, and He says you're a star. He says beauty is a heart place, not a physical place, and when He invades that sweet broken heart of yours, it is impossible not to radiate beauty. I hope and pray that you'll look in the mirror and start to see what He has said and affirmed in your life over and over.

He says that He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). And He says that He's called you out of darkness into freedom (Psalm 107:14).

You're not meant to blend. You're meant to shine like a bright star in the darkest night. You're meant to be unique and original. In other words, being yourself is beautiful...

In a world full of plastic, I dare you to be beautiful. I dare you to let His love shine from your heart so bright the world can't help but notice.

You are a dream.

You were originated in the mind of God; woven and spun into the living, breathing masterpiece you are. Put simply: You're beautiful.

Something is Brewing

There is something brewing inside of me. Like a big discovery about myself that I am about to make. Or maybe it is just a personal mission statement trying to get out. It is hard to explain the "feeling." Yesterday I was listening to a Maximum Impact Club CD and I had that feeling. I don't even know how to describe it...it is like a desire to make a list of the things I like, the personality traits I have, the qualities I would like to develop, the things that are important to me. And a long with that comes the urge to simplify things...perhaps that urge is to remove the clutter in my life so that I can "see" what those other things are. It's very fuzzy and like I said I don't know how to describe it.

Heavenly Father, help me with this feeling. I don't know what it is or what I need to do with it. I think it is your Holy Spirit prompting me to do something, but I don't know what it is. Please guide me and help me. I will listen for your voice. In Jesus Name I Pray. Amen.

Beloved Partner

"The body you are given will be yours for the duration of your time here. Love it or hate it, accept it or reject it, it is the only one you will receive in this lifetime. It will be with you from the minute you draw your first breath to the last beat of your heart. Since there is a no-refund, no-exchange policy on this body of yours, it is essential that you learn to transform your body from a mere vessel into a beloved partner and lifelong ally, as the relationship between you and your body is the most fundamental and important relationship of your lifetime. It is the blueprint from which all your other relationships will be built." by Cherie Carter-Scott

That is something to ponder. I have never thought of my body as a beloved partner or a lifelong ally. But thinking in those terms makes this health and fitness journey I am on seem more important. I am not just doing this for myself, but for my beloved partner.

Settling into Maintenance

This is week 5 of my 6 week weight maintenance break. I was reflecting on the previous weeks and it occurred to me that it wasn't until last week that I really relaxed in maintenance mode. I was struggling with binge eating (which is part of the reason I decided to take the maintenance break) for the first three weeks. I would binge and then want to go back to weight loss points. Then I finally decided that binging was "no longer an option." I want to give it up FOREVER. Now that I have done that and feel like the issue is settled, I feel very comfortable at maintenance points. And interestingly, the scale has gone down about a pound after 11 days of no binging (even though I am eating 27 points a day).

I know I have to be on my guard though. I need to stay close to God because the "binge monster" could attack at any time. I reviewed my list of differences between a binge and a splurge yesterday, just to keep me on my toes. I bought some Ginger Chews at Drug Emporium yesterday. I could have easily eaten the entire bag (and made myself sick in the process, I'm sure), but I recognized I was on the verge of a binge and I did not want to go there. I do realize I need to be on alert though...I could have easily eaten through the entire bag before I realized I had just binged. As it turns out, I had five pieces - 100 calories. God is my strength and I am sure that He is responsible for alerting me to the danger I was encountering. I can't even remember how he "snapped me out of it" but I know that it was Him. I must watch and listen for His voice.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the awareness you gave me yesterday. I was tempted to eat that entire bag, but you rescued me. I am your little sheep who so easily wanders off and gets trapped in the brush or falls into the river. Please keep a watch on me and continue to rescue me when I get too close to danger. It feels good to have been saved BEFORE I needed it. Thank you. In Jesus Name I Praise You. Amen.

Ten Questions

From Walking in the Light by Neil Anderson via the Life Lesson in my Devotional Bible

These are ten questions you'll want to ask yourself and pray about when you're faced with a decision. The first five are generic. They represent moral issues and godly wisdom that are normative for all times. The next five are questions that you need to ask when facing a change in direction. Let's take a look at what each question entails.

1. Have you prayed about it? We aren't supposed to ask God to bless our plans; we are supposed to ask God for His plans.
2. Is it consistent with the Word of God?
3. Can I do it and be a positive Christian witness?
4. Will the Lord be glorified? Am I seeking the glory of man or flory of God? Am I doing this to be noticed by man or am I seeking to please the Lord?
5. Am I acting responsibly? God doesn't bail us out of our irresponsibility. He will let us suffer the consequences of our sings and irresponsibly choices. But when we are faithful in little things, He will put is in charge of greater things.
6. Is it reasonable? God expects us to think. His guidance may transcend human reasoning, but it never excludes it.
7. Does a realistic opportunity exist? Closed doors are not meant to be knocked down. If you have a hopeless scheme let it go. If it isn't God's timing, wait. If a realistic opportunity exists, and all the other factors are in agreement, then take the plunge.
8. Are unbiased spiritually sensitive associates in agreement? Be careful not to consult only those who will agree with you. Give your advisors permission to ask hard questions. Don't be afraid of no answers. If it isn't God's will, don't you want to know before you make the mistake of acting impulsively?
9. Do I have a sanctified desire? Don't think that being in the will of God must always be an unpleasant task. The joy of the Lord should be our strength...Is this a desire to satisfy a lust of the flesh, or a Spirit-filled desire to see God's kingdom established and people helped?
10. Do I have peace about it? This is an inner peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but in Christ we have assurance of overcoming the world. Is the peace of God guarding your heart and your mind?

If you have been able to answer yes to all ten deciding factors, what are you waiting for?

Brother Lawrence writes to me

Dear friend,

We have a God who is infinitely good and who knows what He is doing. He will come and deliver you from your present trouble in His perfect time and when you may least expect it. Hope in Him more than ever. Thank Him for the strength and patience He is giving you, even in the midst of this trial, for it is an evident mark of His concern for you. Encourage yourself with His love and thank Him for everything.

Brother Lawrence

Heavenly Father, You have been teaching me lots of patience. I've been waiting for a new job for a LONG time. I know it will come at the perfect time because You have promised it to me. However, I am growing weary in this wait. Please give me the strength I need to wait. Please give me the wisdom I need to recognize the job you want me to have. I know where I want to work, but if You have other plans for me, please make them clear. Close the doors I don't need to walk through and PLEASE open the doors I need to walk through (SOON). I love you. In Jesus' Name I Pray. Amen.

HAPPY EASTER!

Sugar Pop played at church yesterday, so we have already started celebrating Resurrection Sunday. It was a GREAT service. Our youth minister spoke on resurrection power. It was a good sermon and it was nice to have someone from our church speak instead of the interim speakers we've been having while we look for a new pastor. The worship leader picked out some good music for the weekend. My favorite was My Redeemer Lives. (Last Easter we visited Sugar Pop's brother's church - a little country Baptist church - and the choir did that song as "special music" which meant no one got to sing along with them. I appreciated getting to stand up and sing along and raise my hands and really worship this year.) We had two baptisms. A father was baptised and then we baptized his daughter. That always gets me.

The celebration continues today. Sugar Pop is making chocolate waffles for breakfast (what a great way to break my lenten chocolate fast). We'll have the traditional ham for lunch and this afternoon we go pick up Honey and her friend from the Chrysalis retreat. I'm looking forward to hearing all about their weekend.

A Busy Holy Week

It has been a busy week. You will notice I missed blogging a couple of days. It's Sugar Pop's early week and my quiet time always gets cut short this week. Then I was spending time getting stuff together for Honey to go on the Chrysalis retreat this weekend. Monday evening I had a massage, Tuesday evening a haircut and color, Wednesday evening was Honey's night to come over for supper and then I went to the grocery store, Thursday evening we took Honey and her friend to the Chrysalis, and Friday after work I had a job interview. Whew! I'm tired. It was unusual for me to be so busy. I haven't got in any good workouts. I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes on Monday & Wednesday. Tuesday Sugar Pop and I went for a 20 minute walk. That is it...I haven't even got my floor exercises and stretches done very many days. Today I will do the Couch to 5K workout, but I am going to start Week 6 over since it has been a week since my last workout. (Edited to add: I ended up doing Week 6 Day 3 anyway...it was a 25 minute run - my longest yet!)

Even with all this busyness, it has been a good week and I have been close to God. Since it is Holy Week I decided to do a little extra "fasting." Not fasting from food though. I gave up posting to the WW boards, to reading blogs, and to listening to the radio (I've been listening to worship CDs instead). It has been pleasant and I was much more productive at work. It helped me to draw nearer to God and listen for Him instead of listening/reading other people's words. I have missed the boards and blogs though. They are a good support system and I will be reading/posting to them again. However, this week has been a good reminder that my ultimate support comes from God and that I can always rely on Him.

Anxiety

Whenever we spin anxious scenarios about the future, we waste precious emotional energy. This kind of worrying represents a negative use of the power of our imagination. As such, it can be a misguided attempt to control the future. But instead of controlling the future, we soon discover that anxiety controls us. Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34. Begin to form habits that will help you break the power of worry in your life. Start by thanking God each morning for some small sign of His goodness: a loving friend, a beautiful garden, a child's smile. Gratitude will increase your sense of God's presence in your life. Then, set aside some time to think about ways God has taken care of you in the past. Write them down and make them part of your faith arsenal, so that when you are tempted by anxious thoughts you can remind yourself of concrete examples of how God has already provided for you. ~ From "Women of The Bible."

40 Questions

Someone sent this to me in a myspace bulletin, so I thought I would answer these questions.
1. What do you want for your Birthday? It's too many months away to know.
2. Who will be your next kiss? Sugar Pop
3. When is the last time you went to the mall? I can't even remember.
4. Are you wearing socks right now? Yes.
5. When was the last time you went out of the state? Last summer, when we went to see Brooks & Dunn in OKC.
6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Yes. Sugar Pop and I went to see Wild Hogs
7. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water
8. What are you wearing right now? Black slacks, white tank, purple cardigan.
9. What was your last purchase? A Massage and it was FABULOUS!
10. Last food you ate? Vegetable soup
11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Sugar Pop
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? No.
13. Do you have a pet? Just step-dog.
14. What's the last sporting event you watched? The Super Bowl
15. What's the most played song on your iTunes? Coming up to Breathe by Mercy Me
16. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? At home, with the afternoon off work.
17. What is the last thing you purchased online? Stamps.
18. One thing you hate about yourself? I'm shy.
19. What's your favorite soup? Healthy Valley Garden Vegetable
20. Do you miss anyone? My mom & dad.
21. Last play you saw? I don't remember.
22. What are your plans for the day? Work...darn it!
23. Last person you msg'd? My niece.
24. Ever go to camp? Once in the 5th grade and I HATED it...I was a homebody even then.
25. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yes.
26. What do you know about the future? It's in the future.
27. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Yes.
28. Where are your best friends located? My husband is my best friend and he is at work right now.
29. Do you have a tan? No, but I'm using the Oil of Olay Quench stuff that gives you a little color.
30. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I'm not planning on having any, but I was 29 when I got my step-kids.
31. Who was the first person who made you cry? I have no clue, but I'm sure it was one of my siblings.
32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Just my ears.
32. Have you ever drank your pop ((coke)) from a straw? Yes.
33. How do you like your pop ((coke)) I don't drink it any more.
34. Do you like hot sauce? Yes.
35. Next time you'll take a shower? Tomorrow morning.
36. What's the last movie you saw at home? Nacho Libre (except I slept through most of it)
37. What is your mood? Fair...I'm a little peeved because I found out we don't get off work early on Good Friday.
38. Are you someone's best friend? Yes.
39. Have you ever been to Virginia? No.
40. What are you doing right now? Wondering why someone asked "Have you ever been to Virginia?" when they made up this questions.

Random Things Collected in my Hand-Written Journal around July 2006

The wise counsel God gives when I'm awake is confirmed by my sleeping heart. Day and night I'll stick with God; I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go. ~ Psalm 16:7-8 (The Message)

Yes, Lord! Not just a good thing, but the BEST thing. Always keep me close to you and protect my heart and soul from the dangers and temptations of the world. Please protect my husband, my family, my friends - everyone -- also! You are our mighty God and able to do it!

Oh, how can I give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows. No, I will not punish you as much as my burning anger tells me to. I will not completely destroy Israel, for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you, and I will not come to destroy. ~ Hosea 11:18-19 (NLT)

Thank you for being a merciful God, for not treating us according to our sins and what we deserve, but instead treating us according to your nature - a loving Father!

Saint Sara of Skete - 4th Century
Sarah guarded and preserved with particular zeal the purity of her heart. Her solitude was regularly disturbed by a demon intent on tormenting her with impure temptations. On these occasions, she would pray, "Lord, give me strength." After thirty years of afflicting her thus, the demon conceded defeat, telling her, "Sarah, you have conquered me. " She replied, "It is not I who have conquered you, but rather Christ, my Lord."

Lord, please grant me the fortitude of Sarah. That when I am facing temptations that I will also ask Christ for strength that He will destroy the demons in my life.

April Healthy Habits

Here are the Healthy Habits I will be working on this month:

1. Journal Food and Activity
2. Blog Daily
3. Keep in Touch
4. 5000 Steps per day
5. Cardio workout (at least 10 minutes)
6. Core - at least 5 minutes
7. Strength Training - at least 5 minutes
8. Stretch and/or Yoga - at least 5 minutes
9. Remember 2nd set of vitamins
10. Water - 4 bottles
11. Produce - 5 servings
12. Dairy - 2 servings
13. Healthy Oil
14. Nuts
15. Fiber One
16. Whole Grain
17. Only 1 Coffee+1 G.Tea per day for caffiene
18. Alcohol~0-1 servings
19. No Sugar
20. No Flour
21. No Junk (chips, popcorn, fast food, gum, hot chocolate, soda, cheez-its)
22. No Food or Drink from the break room
23. No Food after 9 pm - only liquids
24. Spend at least 5 minutes cleaning or flinging
25. Enter Receipts
26. Wear Sunglasses
27. Pampering
28. Lotion on Feet & Fingers before bed
29. Bedtime Routine (wash face, tone, brush, floss, bedtime meds)
30. Bed before 11

I have taken Binge-Free off the list, not because it is a habit I want to work on, but because I am making it a non-negotiable item, not merely a suggestion.

Differences between a binge and a splurge:

A binge is alone. A splurge is with Friends or Family
A binge is always processed food. A splurge is probably processed food, but could just be high calorie food.
A binge is large quantity. A splurge can be a regular or large serving,
A binge is not measured. A splurge is a prepared serving.
A binge is unsatisfying. A splurge is satisfying.
During a binge I feel out of control. During a splurge I feel in control.
A binge is eating fast. A splurge is eating slow.
Don't really taste food during a binge. Savor food during a splurge.
During a binge I don't enjoy the food. A splurge is enjoyable.
Eat from the box or bag during a binge. Eat off a plate or bowl during a splurge.
A binge comes with or due to negative emotions. A splurge is for celebratory reasons.
A binge leads to guilt. A splurge doesn't.
A binge is self-indulgent. A splurge can nurture.
A binge is usually an unconscious decision. A splurge is a conscious choice.

Quotes from "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence - Part 4

Spending time in God's presence doesn't weaken the body. Leaving the seemingly innocent and permissible pleasures of the world for a time will, on the contrary, give us comfort. In fact, God won't allow a soul that is searching for Him to be comforted anywhere other than with Him. Hence, it makes sense to sacrifice ourselves for some time in His presence.

It isn't necessary that we stay in church in order to remain in God's presence. We can make our hearts personal chapels where we can enter anytime to talk to God privately. These conversations can be so loving and gentle, and anyone can have them.

Is there any reason not to begin? He may be waiting for us to take the first step. Because we have such a short time to live, we should spend our remaining time with God. Even suffering will be easier when we are with Him, but without Him, even the greatest pleasures will be joyless.

I am sure my soul has been with God for more than thirty years. I consider God my King, against whom I've committed all sorts of crimes. Confessing my sins to Him and asking Him to forgive me, I place myself in His hands to do whatever He please with me. This King, who is full of goodness and mercy, doesn't punish me. Rather, He embraces me lovingly and invites me to eat at His table. He serves me Himself and gives me the keys to His treasury, treating me as His favorite. He converses with me without mentioning either my sins or His forgiveness. My former habits are seemingly forgotten. Although I beg Him to do whatever He wishes with me. He does nothing but caress me. This is what being in His holy presence is like.

Sometimes I imagine that I'm a piece of stone, waiting for the sculptor. When I give myself to God this way, He begins sculpting my soul into the perfect image of His beloved Son.

Don't give up

Don't give up...God is watching. For all you know right at this moment he may be telling the angel to move the stone...The job contract may be on the desk. Don't quit. For if you do, you may miss the answer to your prayers. ~ From the Life Lesson in my Devotional Bible.

Are you? Are you telling the angel to move the stone? Is today the day I will get the new job? I need to hear from you.

Give up on Maintenance?

Isn't There Some Misunderstanding? (My Utmost for His Highest - March 28th)

Just because I don't understand what Jesus Christ says, I have no right to determine that He must be mistaken in what He says. That is a dangerous view, and it is never right to think that my obedience to God's directive will bring dishonor to Jesus. The only thing that will bring dishonor is not obeying Him. To put my view of His honor ahead of what He is plainly guiding me to do is never right, even though it may come from a real desire to prevent Him from being put to open shame. I know when the instructions have come from God because of their quiet persistence. But when I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God. This will only result in my concluding that His instructions to me were not right. Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus Himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can't see anything (see Matt. 14:29). But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can't see the way ahead.
Are you debating whether you should take a step in faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can see clearly how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have missunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn't. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him? "Whatever He says to you, do it." (John 2:5)

Two days ago, in the midst of a cheez-its and vanilla wafer eating fest, I wanted to give up on this idea of maintenance for six weeks and return to weight loss and lose this extra 6 lbs or so. Then the next morning, I read this. So, I won't. God is teaching me during this time and I will keep learning. I will continue to obey God on this.