Momentum

It's important to make plans for tomorrow, next week or next year. But there is a difference between planning for tomorrow and living there, making so many plans in our heads that our focus remains in the future rather than the here and now...We must focus on today and the tasks at hand while leaving the worries of what will happen tomorrow in God's hands. ~ Lose it for Life Day by Day

It seems my mind is always swimming with lists of things I need to do and want to do and often times that prevents me from doing anything. I almost feel paralyzed to act while the to do list piles up around me. I begin to procrastinate because I don't know where to start. Then I really lose focus and would rather sit and play a computer game or read blogs than accomplish anything. However, if I can get moving and start seeing some progress, I feel AWESOME and that momentum keeps me going. Often times, just setting a timer for 15 minutes and telling myself I only have to work for 15 minutes is enough to get the pendulum swinging again. That is what I am doing today - 15 minutes of work on my to do list and then a 15 minute break to relax, read blogs, play on the computer, whatever.

I got up at 8:30 this morning and I already feel like I have accomplished a lot:
had my quiet time
washed, dried, and remade the bed
emptied the dishwasher
had breakfast (Sugar Pop cooked)
filed out a rebate form
paid a few bills and reconciled the checkbook
and in 5 minutes we will be going for a walk

I see a very productive day on the horizon and it makes me happy.

Fitting In or Standing Apart?

Questions from the Life Lesson Devotional:

How deeply do you care about fitting in and being like the world? What are the areas of your life where you blend in with those around you when you should not? Ask God to give you the courage and conviction to stand apart when you should.

The first thing that comes to my mind is with my eating habits (not very spiritual, huh?). I tend to try to fit in with the crowd and eat what others are eating. This is the biggest problem at office parties (actually any party) and when we go out with friends.

The other thing that comes to my mind is with my speech - talking about other people, making fun of people, being overly critical and judgemental. OR just being silent when other people are doing it.

There are probably more. I have emailed these questions to work so I can think about them today and pray for God to give me the courage and conviction to stand apart.

God of Perfect Timing

I read this yesterday at Happy Catholic:

Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To: Divine Answers to Life's Most Difficult Problems by Anthony DeStefano
... One thing that you learn as you progress in the spiritual life is that God is a God of perfect timing. Since he is able to see the "big picture," he knows just when you should move on and when you should stay where you are. And sometimes before you move on he has to "arrange" a thousand different details in order to make that move possible. That arranging takes time.People who travel frequently on airplanes know just what I mean, because they have experienced the frustration of "circling." Usually this happens near the end of the flight, just when you're most anxious to get off the plane ... you've gone into the dreaded holding pattern... The point is that, despite the frustration of the passengers, and despite the pilot's ability to freely control his aircraft, another entity -- air-traffic control -- has made an over-riding decision to prevent the plane from landing. And there's just nothing that anyone can do about it.The very same thing often happens to us in life. We can decide what we want to do and where we want to go, but God is still in charge of "air-traffic control." He sees everything on his omniscient radar screen -- the weather, the airport, all the other planes in the area. Sometimes, for reasons he may or may not disclose, he decides that the best thing for us to do is remain in a "holding pattern." While we're busy circling, he's busy clearing obstacles, solving problems and moving people around until things are just right. Then and only then does he permit us to come in for a safe, smooth landing.

I had prayed earlier in the morning that God would give me a message of encouragement on my job situation. This was an answered prayer.

Product

I use a lot of "product" every day. A limited amount of hair product - but lots of other products.

Shampoo
2 types of conditioner
soap
facial cleanser
lotion
toner
moisturizer
2 eye creams
lip balm
deodorant
spray on conditioner (yes, I have dry hair)
sometimes a hair product
concealer
foundation
blush
2 eye shadows
2 eye liners
mascara
lip primer
lip liner
lip gloss
hand lotion
foot creme (night-time)
cuticle creme (night-time)
perfume

Then there are the optional "pampering" things - various facial masks, facial scrubs, body scrubs, hand scrubs, deep conditioners, shave gel (I don't shave my legs everyday), self-tanner.

Whew! No wonder I struggle to get ready in under an hour. I would really like to get ready in about 45 minutes but I do like to take LONG showers.

Pap Results

Two weeks ago, I had my 4 month follow up pap smear from the LEEP I had in December. She said she would call if the results were abnormal and just send a letter if the results were normal. Well, after being gone for a week, I figured I would have a letter in the mail - Nothing. Slightly paranoid. There were no phone calls showing on the caller ID from the doctor though, but the paranoia said that maybe she had tried my office number first and find out I was on vacation. I had hoped that the place we get are mail delivered had some mail stuck back for us because are box was full from being gone for a week. I had a dream on Saturday night that the doctor called and I had abnormal results. Increased paranoia. Yesterday, I had Sugar Pop ask at the UPS Store if they had any more mail for us - nothing. More paranoid. I didn't want to call the doctor because I was afraid of bad news, but finally told myself that if it was bad I would have to find out sooner or later and if it was good and could relax and stop being paranoid. So, I called this morning. The nurse called me back and my pap smear was NORMAL! Yeah...paranoid for nothing. They did send a letter - who knows where that went (and I wonder what other mail we haven't received).

Anyway...I'm happy that I'm normal and the LEEP has worked. YEAH! If anyone has any questions about a LEEP (now or if you just happened upon this post at a later date because you are having to get one), feel free to comment and I will be happy to answer any questions.

It is everywhere!

Why is that there is food everywhere, all the time?

There is a bible study starting at our church this week and I've been trying to decide whether to attend. Apart from the time commitment (2 hrs, once a week for 7 weeks plus daily homework), there is something else that concerns me. The description of the class says, "This is a wonderful time of food, fellowship, and an awesome study experience for women of all ages." FOOD! Listed first. Like it is the most important part.

I do not need any food temptations, but the class name is intriguing - Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer. Has anyone ever done this study?

Did you miss me?

Did you notice I was gone for a week? Sugar Pop and I went to Nashville for GMA Week and the Dove Awards. We had a really good time and got to listen to a LOT of Christian artists peform. Hopefully, we made some good contacts for Sugar Pops music, but only time will tell what develops on that front. The excitement of the week for me was getting to meet Mike & Jeannie from the Air1 Morning Show.

So, after a week of being away from home, eating whatever whenever, and not exercising, the scale was up 2.4 lbs. I was amazed that it wasn't more. My six week maintenance period is now officially over and I am returning to weight loss points again. My 20 year high school reunion is in 48 days and I have 8.6 lbs to lose to be back at my goal weight. Not impossible, but not a breeze either.

I am happy to be back home and back to my healthy habits and healthy eating and exercise. After a week of indulging, it feels good to return to discipline.

Peace

Today my quiet time has involved mainly quiet - just sitting and resting in God's presence. Most days I do my bible reading, but this has been a busy week and it seems my mind has been churning all day every day. It was nice to just sit in the quiet with God. I have His peace in my heart this morning and I want to bask in His love all day.

Obedience

False religion seeks a peace of heart through all the wrong ways. A true relationship with God requires wholehearted obedience, not a token sacrifice. ~ Life Lesson in my Devotional Bible

What pleases the Lord more: burnt offering and sacrifices or obedience to his voice? It is better to obey than to sacrifice. It is better to listen to God than to offer the fat of sheep. ~ 1 Samuel 15:22

Doing what is right and fair is more important to the Lord than sacrifices. ~ Proverbs 21:3

I want faithful love more than I want animal sacrifices. I want people to know me more than I want burnt offerings. ~ Hosea 6:6

Many people think God requires us to follow a set of rules and that He is just looking for us to screw up so He can punish us. That is not true. God loves us and wants what is best for us. He doesn't give us rules so that he can catch us doing wrong or keep us from having fun. He gives us rules to protect us. Parents don't tell their children not to cross the street because to spoil their fun. They tell their kids not to cross the street because they don't want them to get hit by a car. It is the same with God. When we are obedient to Him, we are actually free. Free from the troubles that are caused by our own sin. It is a glorious place to be.

O God, our Healer and our Good, you sent your Son to cure the world's sickness by taking upon himself the burden of its guilt. Heal the diseased vision which causes us to mistake evil for good; heal the sickened mind which causes us to mistake selfishness for love; heal the unhealthy habits which we have made our own, that we may stand before you, whole in body, soul, and spirit, to sing your praises for ever with all the saints, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. ~ Magnificat 7-21-06

Human need of every kind cries out to God for healing. The sharpest cry is the plea of the human heart betrayed and wounded by the sin of self and others. The Lord hears every call for help and heals by taking upon himself the suffering of all who are impoverished and weakened by failure, sin, and death. ~ Magnificat 7-21-06

Jesus Christ is the only friend who never abandons anyone. He it is who in our last moments comes to visit us on our bed of pain. Let us, therefore, remain united with him by prayer and Holy Communion. ~ St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier

I adore you, O my God, and render you homage, with all my heart by loving you , with all my soul by praising you, and with all my mind by submitting it to faith. ~ Magnificat 7-21-6

Readiness

READINESS
"God called to him...And he said, 'Here am I'" Exodus 3:4
When God speaks, many of us are like people in a fog, we give no answer. Moses' reply revealed that he he knew where he was and that he was ready. Readiness means having a right relationship to God and having the knowledge of where we are. We are so busy telling God where we would like to go. Yet the man or woman who is ready for God and His work is the one who receives the prize when the summons comes. We wait with the idea that some great opportunity or something sensational will be coming our way, and when it does come we are quick to cry, "Here I am." Whenever we sense that Jesus Christ is rising up to take authority over some great task, we are there, but we are not ready for some obscure duty.
Readiness for God means that we are prepared to do the smallest thing or the largest thing--it makes no difference. It means we have no choice in what we want to do, but that whatever God's plan may be we are there and ready. Whenenver any duty presents itself, we hear God's voice, and we are ready for it with the total readiness of our love for Him. Jesus Christ expects to do with us just as His Father did with Him. He can put us wherever He wants, in pleasant duties or in mean duties, because our union with Him is the same as His union with the Father. "That they may be one, even as We are one."
Be ready for the sudden surprise visits of God. A ready person never needs to get ready--he is ready. Think of the time we waste trying to get ready once God has called! The burning bush is a symbol of everything that surrounds the person who is ready, and it is on fire with the presence of God Himself. ~ Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

I thought it was interesting that this was my devotional reading this morning, the day following my post about procrastination. I need to break this procrastination habit so that I can be ready for the things God wants me to do.

Perfectionism and Procrastination

Today Beula wrote about this topic. A few days ago, Vickie mentioned the same topic. I suffer from these. Actually, I have a tendency to be proud of my perfectionism, but unfortunately it leads to procrastination which is quite embarrassing to me. I hate that I am a procrastinator. It causes me many difficulties.

For example, on Friday afternoon at work I was doing property tax renditions - that were due on Monday. They HAD TO BE in the mail on Friday and I was doing them at the last minute. I have had the forms since JANUARY! Why do I put these things off? I don't know if that is related to my perfectionism...or if it is just matter of not working on things until they absolutely positively have to be done.

I feel so much better when I stay on top of things that need to be done. But when I start lagging behind, I become paralyzed and I don't accomplish anything. I just can't get started. It is like my brain and my body just freeze and all my mind wants to do is play solitaire on the computer, while projects pile up around me.

However, if I can get myself moving and keep the momentum going, I can accomplish so much. I can be very efficient with my time and even amaze myself at how much I can do a little amount of time.

The problem is getting started. A helpful thing I learned from Fly Lady is setting a timer. Just setting a timer for 15 minutes and telling myself that I only have to work for 15 minutes is often all I need to get myself moving. And then once I am moving, I tend to stay in motion. But there are still days where I can not even motivate myself to set the timer. Why is that?

(By the way, I finally got my houseplants watered this evening. Poor houseplants, they are being neglected.)

Five Questions

Vickie is playing a game. Here are the five questions that she sent me:

If you were an animal, what would it be?
I've always liked cats - they are very indepedent, quiet, curious, flexible, but they can protect themselves and fend for themselves when they need to.

What is your favorite NAME of all time - could be a person, a product, a town - whatever and why.
Jesus - The Name Above All Names. The Name by which I am saved.

What is the one everyday thing - that needs doing at your house right now - that you just keep putting off?
I really need to water my house plants (which I will probably go do after I finish this).

What was your favorite thing about your first teacher?
I liked that she also played the organ at the church we attended, so I knew her outside of school.

Who is the current/living American/countryman of whom you are the proudest?
Father Frank Pavone with Priests for Life. He tirelessly works to promote the culture of life in our country, often times against very strong opposition.

Here are the instructions to continue:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by posting five questions on your blog. I get to pick the questions. (so you have to have the set up where I click on your name and it takes me to your blog).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation andan offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed,you will ask them five questions.

We Cannot Keep the Great News to Ourselves

To Mary Magdalene the Lord said: "Do not cling to me for I have not yet ascended to the Father" (John 20:17). This is an expression that surprises us, especially when we compare it to what happens with the incredulous Thomas. There, in the cenacle, it was the Risen One himself who presented his hands and his side so that Thomas touch them and find the certainty that it was Jesus (cf. 20:27). In reality the two episodes are not opposed to each other; on the contrary, the one helps us understand the other.

Mary Magdalene wanted to have the same master as before, taking the cross to be a dramatic memory to forget. Now, however, there is no room for a merely human relationship with the Risen One. To encounter him one need not go back but place oneself into a new relationship with him: One must go forward! St. Bernard emphasizes this: Jesus "invites all of us to this new life, to this passage.… We do not see Christ if we turn backward" (Sermon on Easter). This is what happened to Thomas. Jesus showed him his wounds not so as to forget the cross, but to make it unforgettable even in the future.

It is toward the future that our gaze in now directed. The task of the disciple is to bear witness to the death and Resurrection of his master and his new life. For this reason Jesus invites his incredulous friend to "touch him": He wants to give direct testimony of his resurrection.

Dear brothers and sisters, we too, like Mary Magdalene, Thomas and the other apostles, are called to be witnesses of the death and resurrection of Christ. We cannot keep the great news to ourselves. We must tell it to all the world: "We have seen the Lord!" (John 20:25). ~ Pope Benedict XVI

Today it is Quotes from my Hand-Written Journal

Just as a soldier never ceases to train for battle and prepares in sham warfare for the real wounds that are to come, every Christian must exercise self-restraint at all times, but especially when the enemy is near at hand with his well-trained hosts marshaled against us. ~ St. Jerome

God wants you to live for today. Worrying about yesterday or tomorrow steals today. But the great I AM has given you just enough grace for today. Grace for yesterday is all used up and grace for tomorrow will not come until tomorrow. So use the favor and power of the Holy Spirit to do His will right now.

God in His power is refuge and strength; God in His mercy is the river that refreshes the soul; God in His beauty stills all our useless struggles and gathers us into His peace.

Pride sets subtle snares. Whenever we imagine we are in control of life - our own or someone else's - we have fallen prey to the ancient whisper in the Garden: "You shall be like gods." Mortality is the enduring reminder that we become like God not by our own power but by the power of the cross.

True gentleness is so considerate, so tactful, and so active that, when we meet it, we are always astonished that it can do us so much good, while at the same time apparently giving us nothing. ~ Louis Lavelle

Purity comes from heaven; we must ask for it from God. If we ask for it, we shall obtain it. We must take great care not to lose it. ~ St. John Vianney

Items from my Fitness Notebook

If you want to reach your dream, you must stay past the point you normally would have given up. ~ Unknown

Life boils down to a choice. Are you going to let life get you down or are you doing to take control and make the outcome what you want it to be?

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you take a day off from exercising, do at least 3 things that will keep you moving towards your goals during your off day. ~ Unknown

Preparation yesterday will help make today productive, and productivity today will help make tomorrow's dream a reality. ~ Unknown

It isn't sufficient just to want -- you've got to ask yourself what you are going to do to get the things you want. ~ F.D. Roosevelt

A cookie lasts as long as it takes to chew it, but a healthy lifestyle lasts a lifetime! ~ Unknown

Life tends to get in the way of fitness goals. Don't let it push you around. Make time. Your health is that important. ~ Unknown

Today, THINK about WHO you want to be, WHAT that person would choose when faced with a difficult food choice and BE that person!!! Let healthy thoughts control you today! ~ Unknown

We can take a stand for our lives by saying no to certain foods and behaviors. Yes, we have the opportunity to choose to gorge on sweets, but that's not freedom, that's slavery. ~ Unknown

Being proactive will go a long way in our recovery from food and weight issues. We must be on guard, watching for temptations and praying for God's guidance and strength in each new situation. If we walk about unaware, we will easily fall into serving our flesh -- giving into the tempting gratification of binging. But as we instead live away of our surroundings, predictable traps, and our own weaknesses, we can then walk in the spirit and provision that comes from God. ~ Lose it for Life Day by Day - May 23rd

Real Beauty

Dee posted this article today. I really liked it and want to save it for myself to read again.

You and I live in a world where beauty is a sad plastic imitation of the real thing. Real beauty is a thousand skin tones and languages, different smiles, personalities and hairstyles. Real beauty doesn't matter if you're wearing a frilly skirt and ballet flats or a lacrosse uniform. It has nothing to do with your jean size or your height.

It has everything to do with what He says about you, and He says you're a star. He says beauty is a heart place, not a physical place, and when He invades that sweet broken heart of yours, it is impossible not to radiate beauty. I hope and pray that you'll look in the mirror and start to see what He has said and affirmed in your life over and over.

He says that He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). And He says that He's called you out of darkness into freedom (Psalm 107:14).

You're not meant to blend. You're meant to shine like a bright star in the darkest night. You're meant to be unique and original. In other words, being yourself is beautiful...

In a world full of plastic, I dare you to be beautiful. I dare you to let His love shine from your heart so bright the world can't help but notice.

You are a dream.

You were originated in the mind of God; woven and spun into the living, breathing masterpiece you are. Put simply: You're beautiful.

Something is Brewing

There is something brewing inside of me. Like a big discovery about myself that I am about to make. Or maybe it is just a personal mission statement trying to get out. It is hard to explain the "feeling." Yesterday I was listening to a Maximum Impact Club CD and I had that feeling. I don't even know how to describe it...it is like a desire to make a list of the things I like, the personality traits I have, the qualities I would like to develop, the things that are important to me. And a long with that comes the urge to simplify things...perhaps that urge is to remove the clutter in my life so that I can "see" what those other things are. It's very fuzzy and like I said I don't know how to describe it.

Heavenly Father, help me with this feeling. I don't know what it is or what I need to do with it. I think it is your Holy Spirit prompting me to do something, but I don't know what it is. Please guide me and help me. I will listen for your voice. In Jesus Name I Pray. Amen.

Beloved Partner

"The body you are given will be yours for the duration of your time here. Love it or hate it, accept it or reject it, it is the only one you will receive in this lifetime. It will be with you from the minute you draw your first breath to the last beat of your heart. Since there is a no-refund, no-exchange policy on this body of yours, it is essential that you learn to transform your body from a mere vessel into a beloved partner and lifelong ally, as the relationship between you and your body is the most fundamental and important relationship of your lifetime. It is the blueprint from which all your other relationships will be built." by Cherie Carter-Scott

That is something to ponder. I have never thought of my body as a beloved partner or a lifelong ally. But thinking in those terms makes this health and fitness journey I am on seem more important. I am not just doing this for myself, but for my beloved partner.

Settling into Maintenance

This is week 5 of my 6 week weight maintenance break. I was reflecting on the previous weeks and it occurred to me that it wasn't until last week that I really relaxed in maintenance mode. I was struggling with binge eating (which is part of the reason I decided to take the maintenance break) for the first three weeks. I would binge and then want to go back to weight loss points. Then I finally decided that binging was "no longer an option." I want to give it up FOREVER. Now that I have done that and feel like the issue is settled, I feel very comfortable at maintenance points. And interestingly, the scale has gone down about a pound after 11 days of no binging (even though I am eating 27 points a day).

I know I have to be on my guard though. I need to stay close to God because the "binge monster" could attack at any time. I reviewed my list of differences between a binge and a splurge yesterday, just to keep me on my toes. I bought some Ginger Chews at Drug Emporium yesterday. I could have easily eaten the entire bag (and made myself sick in the process, I'm sure), but I recognized I was on the verge of a binge and I did not want to go there. I do realize I need to be on alert though...I could have easily eaten through the entire bag before I realized I had just binged. As it turns out, I had five pieces - 100 calories. God is my strength and I am sure that He is responsible for alerting me to the danger I was encountering. I can't even remember how he "snapped me out of it" but I know that it was Him. I must watch and listen for His voice.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the awareness you gave me yesterday. I was tempted to eat that entire bag, but you rescued me. I am your little sheep who so easily wanders off and gets trapped in the brush or falls into the river. Please keep a watch on me and continue to rescue me when I get too close to danger. It feels good to have been saved BEFORE I needed it. Thank you. In Jesus Name I Praise You. Amen.

Ten Questions

From Walking in the Light by Neil Anderson via the Life Lesson in my Devotional Bible

These are ten questions you'll want to ask yourself and pray about when you're faced with a decision. The first five are generic. They represent moral issues and godly wisdom that are normative for all times. The next five are questions that you need to ask when facing a change in direction. Let's take a look at what each question entails.

1. Have you prayed about it? We aren't supposed to ask God to bless our plans; we are supposed to ask God for His plans.
2. Is it consistent with the Word of God?
3. Can I do it and be a positive Christian witness?
4. Will the Lord be glorified? Am I seeking the glory of man or flory of God? Am I doing this to be noticed by man or am I seeking to please the Lord?
5. Am I acting responsibly? God doesn't bail us out of our irresponsibility. He will let us suffer the consequences of our sings and irresponsibly choices. But when we are faithful in little things, He will put is in charge of greater things.
6. Is it reasonable? God expects us to think. His guidance may transcend human reasoning, but it never excludes it.
7. Does a realistic opportunity exist? Closed doors are not meant to be knocked down. If you have a hopeless scheme let it go. If it isn't God's timing, wait. If a realistic opportunity exists, and all the other factors are in agreement, then take the plunge.
8. Are unbiased spiritually sensitive associates in agreement? Be careful not to consult only those who will agree with you. Give your advisors permission to ask hard questions. Don't be afraid of no answers. If it isn't God's will, don't you want to know before you make the mistake of acting impulsively?
9. Do I have a sanctified desire? Don't think that being in the will of God must always be an unpleasant task. The joy of the Lord should be our strength...Is this a desire to satisfy a lust of the flesh, or a Spirit-filled desire to see God's kingdom established and people helped?
10. Do I have peace about it? This is an inner peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but in Christ we have assurance of overcoming the world. Is the peace of God guarding your heart and your mind?

If you have been able to answer yes to all ten deciding factors, what are you waiting for?

Brother Lawrence writes to me

Dear friend,

We have a God who is infinitely good and who knows what He is doing. He will come and deliver you from your present trouble in His perfect time and when you may least expect it. Hope in Him more than ever. Thank Him for the strength and patience He is giving you, even in the midst of this trial, for it is an evident mark of His concern for you. Encourage yourself with His love and thank Him for everything.

Brother Lawrence

Heavenly Father, You have been teaching me lots of patience. I've been waiting for a new job for a LONG time. I know it will come at the perfect time because You have promised it to me. However, I am growing weary in this wait. Please give me the strength I need to wait. Please give me the wisdom I need to recognize the job you want me to have. I know where I want to work, but if You have other plans for me, please make them clear. Close the doors I don't need to walk through and PLEASE open the doors I need to walk through (SOON). I love you. In Jesus' Name I Pray. Amen.

HAPPY EASTER!

Sugar Pop played at church yesterday, so we have already started celebrating Resurrection Sunday. It was a GREAT service. Our youth minister spoke on resurrection power. It was a good sermon and it was nice to have someone from our church speak instead of the interim speakers we've been having while we look for a new pastor. The worship leader picked out some good music for the weekend. My favorite was My Redeemer Lives. (Last Easter we visited Sugar Pop's brother's church - a little country Baptist church - and the choir did that song as "special music" which meant no one got to sing along with them. I appreciated getting to stand up and sing along and raise my hands and really worship this year.) We had two baptisms. A father was baptised and then we baptized his daughter. That always gets me.

The celebration continues today. Sugar Pop is making chocolate waffles for breakfast (what a great way to break my lenten chocolate fast). We'll have the traditional ham for lunch and this afternoon we go pick up Honey and her friend from the Chrysalis retreat. I'm looking forward to hearing all about their weekend.

A Busy Holy Week

It has been a busy week. You will notice I missed blogging a couple of days. It's Sugar Pop's early week and my quiet time always gets cut short this week. Then I was spending time getting stuff together for Honey to go on the Chrysalis retreat this weekend. Monday evening I had a massage, Tuesday evening a haircut and color, Wednesday evening was Honey's night to come over for supper and then I went to the grocery store, Thursday evening we took Honey and her friend to the Chrysalis, and Friday after work I had a job interview. Whew! I'm tired. It was unusual for me to be so busy. I haven't got in any good workouts. I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes on Monday & Wednesday. Tuesday Sugar Pop and I went for a 20 minute walk. That is it...I haven't even got my floor exercises and stretches done very many days. Today I will do the Couch to 5K workout, but I am going to start Week 6 over since it has been a week since my last workout. (Edited to add: I ended up doing Week 6 Day 3 anyway...it was a 25 minute run - my longest yet!)

Even with all this busyness, it has been a good week and I have been close to God. Since it is Holy Week I decided to do a little extra "fasting." Not fasting from food though. I gave up posting to the WW boards, to reading blogs, and to listening to the radio (I've been listening to worship CDs instead). It has been pleasant and I was much more productive at work. It helped me to draw nearer to God and listen for Him instead of listening/reading other people's words. I have missed the boards and blogs though. They are a good support system and I will be reading/posting to them again. However, this week has been a good reminder that my ultimate support comes from God and that I can always rely on Him.

Anxiety

Whenever we spin anxious scenarios about the future, we waste precious emotional energy. This kind of worrying represents a negative use of the power of our imagination. As such, it can be a misguided attempt to control the future. But instead of controlling the future, we soon discover that anxiety controls us. Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34. Begin to form habits that will help you break the power of worry in your life. Start by thanking God each morning for some small sign of His goodness: a loving friend, a beautiful garden, a child's smile. Gratitude will increase your sense of God's presence in your life. Then, set aside some time to think about ways God has taken care of you in the past. Write them down and make them part of your faith arsenal, so that when you are tempted by anxious thoughts you can remind yourself of concrete examples of how God has already provided for you. ~ From "Women of The Bible."

40 Questions

Someone sent this to me in a myspace bulletin, so I thought I would answer these questions.
1. What do you want for your Birthday? It's too many months away to know.
2. Who will be your next kiss? Sugar Pop
3. When is the last time you went to the mall? I can't even remember.
4. Are you wearing socks right now? Yes.
5. When was the last time you went out of the state? Last summer, when we went to see Brooks & Dunn in OKC.
6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Yes. Sugar Pop and I went to see Wild Hogs
7. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water
8. What are you wearing right now? Black slacks, white tank, purple cardigan.
9. What was your last purchase? A Massage and it was FABULOUS!
10. Last food you ate? Vegetable soup
11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Sugar Pop
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? No.
13. Do you have a pet? Just step-dog.
14. What's the last sporting event you watched? The Super Bowl
15. What's the most played song on your iTunes? Coming up to Breathe by Mercy Me
16. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? At home, with the afternoon off work.
17. What is the last thing you purchased online? Stamps.
18. One thing you hate about yourself? I'm shy.
19. What's your favorite soup? Healthy Valley Garden Vegetable
20. Do you miss anyone? My mom & dad.
21. Last play you saw? I don't remember.
22. What are your plans for the day? Work...darn it!
23. Last person you msg'd? My niece.
24. Ever go to camp? Once in the 5th grade and I HATED it...I was a homebody even then.
25. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yes.
26. What do you know about the future? It's in the future.
27. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Yes.
28. Where are your best friends located? My husband is my best friend and he is at work right now.
29. Do you have a tan? No, but I'm using the Oil of Olay Quench stuff that gives you a little color.
30. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I'm not planning on having any, but I was 29 when I got my step-kids.
31. Who was the first person who made you cry? I have no clue, but I'm sure it was one of my siblings.
32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Just my ears.
32. Have you ever drank your pop ((coke)) from a straw? Yes.
33. How do you like your pop ((coke)) I don't drink it any more.
34. Do you like hot sauce? Yes.
35. Next time you'll take a shower? Tomorrow morning.
36. What's the last movie you saw at home? Nacho Libre (except I slept through most of it)
37. What is your mood? Fair...I'm a little peeved because I found out we don't get off work early on Good Friday.
38. Are you someone's best friend? Yes.
39. Have you ever been to Virginia? No.
40. What are you doing right now? Wondering why someone asked "Have you ever been to Virginia?" when they made up this questions.

Random Things Collected in my Hand-Written Journal around July 2006

The wise counsel God gives when I'm awake is confirmed by my sleeping heart. Day and night I'll stick with God; I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go. ~ Psalm 16:7-8 (The Message)

Yes, Lord! Not just a good thing, but the BEST thing. Always keep me close to you and protect my heart and soul from the dangers and temptations of the world. Please protect my husband, my family, my friends - everyone -- also! You are our mighty God and able to do it!

Oh, how can I give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows. No, I will not punish you as much as my burning anger tells me to. I will not completely destroy Israel, for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you, and I will not come to destroy. ~ Hosea 11:18-19 (NLT)

Thank you for being a merciful God, for not treating us according to our sins and what we deserve, but instead treating us according to your nature - a loving Father!

Saint Sara of Skete - 4th Century
Sarah guarded and preserved with particular zeal the purity of her heart. Her solitude was regularly disturbed by a demon intent on tormenting her with impure temptations. On these occasions, she would pray, "Lord, give me strength." After thirty years of afflicting her thus, the demon conceded defeat, telling her, "Sarah, you have conquered me. " She replied, "It is not I who have conquered you, but rather Christ, my Lord."

Lord, please grant me the fortitude of Sarah. That when I am facing temptations that I will also ask Christ for strength that He will destroy the demons in my life.

April Healthy Habits

Here are the Healthy Habits I will be working on this month:

1. Journal Food and Activity
2. Blog Daily
3. Keep in Touch
4. 5000 Steps per day
5. Cardio workout (at least 10 minutes)
6. Core - at least 5 minutes
7. Strength Training - at least 5 minutes
8. Stretch and/or Yoga - at least 5 minutes
9. Remember 2nd set of vitamins
10. Water - 4 bottles
11. Produce - 5 servings
12. Dairy - 2 servings
13. Healthy Oil
14. Nuts
15. Fiber One
16. Whole Grain
17. Only 1 Coffee+1 G.Tea per day for caffiene
18. Alcohol~0-1 servings
19. No Sugar
20. No Flour
21. No Junk (chips, popcorn, fast food, gum, hot chocolate, soda, cheez-its)
22. No Food or Drink from the break room
23. No Food after 9 pm - only liquids
24. Spend at least 5 minutes cleaning or flinging
25. Enter Receipts
26. Wear Sunglasses
27. Pampering
28. Lotion on Feet & Fingers before bed
29. Bedtime Routine (wash face, tone, brush, floss, bedtime meds)
30. Bed before 11

I have taken Binge-Free off the list, not because it is a habit I want to work on, but because I am making it a non-negotiable item, not merely a suggestion.

Differences between a binge and a splurge:

A binge is alone. A splurge is with Friends or Family
A binge is always processed food. A splurge is probably processed food, but could just be high calorie food.
A binge is large quantity. A splurge can be a regular or large serving,
A binge is not measured. A splurge is a prepared serving.
A binge is unsatisfying. A splurge is satisfying.
During a binge I feel out of control. During a splurge I feel in control.
A binge is eating fast. A splurge is eating slow.
Don't really taste food during a binge. Savor food during a splurge.
During a binge I don't enjoy the food. A splurge is enjoyable.
Eat from the box or bag during a binge. Eat off a plate or bowl during a splurge.
A binge comes with or due to negative emotions. A splurge is for celebratory reasons.
A binge leads to guilt. A splurge doesn't.
A binge is self-indulgent. A splurge can nurture.
A binge is usually an unconscious decision. A splurge is a conscious choice.

Quotes from "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence - Part 4

Spending time in God's presence doesn't weaken the body. Leaving the seemingly innocent and permissible pleasures of the world for a time will, on the contrary, give us comfort. In fact, God won't allow a soul that is searching for Him to be comforted anywhere other than with Him. Hence, it makes sense to sacrifice ourselves for some time in His presence.

It isn't necessary that we stay in church in order to remain in God's presence. We can make our hearts personal chapels where we can enter anytime to talk to God privately. These conversations can be so loving and gentle, and anyone can have them.

Is there any reason not to begin? He may be waiting for us to take the first step. Because we have such a short time to live, we should spend our remaining time with God. Even suffering will be easier when we are with Him, but without Him, even the greatest pleasures will be joyless.

I am sure my soul has been with God for more than thirty years. I consider God my King, against whom I've committed all sorts of crimes. Confessing my sins to Him and asking Him to forgive me, I place myself in His hands to do whatever He please with me. This King, who is full of goodness and mercy, doesn't punish me. Rather, He embraces me lovingly and invites me to eat at His table. He serves me Himself and gives me the keys to His treasury, treating me as His favorite. He converses with me without mentioning either my sins or His forgiveness. My former habits are seemingly forgotten. Although I beg Him to do whatever He wishes with me. He does nothing but caress me. This is what being in His holy presence is like.

Sometimes I imagine that I'm a piece of stone, waiting for the sculptor. When I give myself to God this way, He begins sculpting my soul into the perfect image of His beloved Son.

Don't give up

Don't give up...God is watching. For all you know right at this moment he may be telling the angel to move the stone...The job contract may be on the desk. Don't quit. For if you do, you may miss the answer to your prayers. ~ From the Life Lesson in my Devotional Bible.

Are you? Are you telling the angel to move the stone? Is today the day I will get the new job? I need to hear from you.

Give up on Maintenance?

Isn't There Some Misunderstanding? (My Utmost for His Highest - March 28th)

Just because I don't understand what Jesus Christ says, I have no right to determine that He must be mistaken in what He says. That is a dangerous view, and it is never right to think that my obedience to God's directive will bring dishonor to Jesus. The only thing that will bring dishonor is not obeying Him. To put my view of His honor ahead of what He is plainly guiding me to do is never right, even though it may come from a real desire to prevent Him from being put to open shame. I know when the instructions have come from God because of their quiet persistence. But when I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God. This will only result in my concluding that His instructions to me were not right. Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus Himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can't see anything (see Matt. 14:29). But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can't see the way ahead.
Are you debating whether you should take a step in faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can see clearly how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have missunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn't. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him? "Whatever He says to you, do it." (John 2:5)

Two days ago, in the midst of a cheez-its and vanilla wafer eating fest, I wanted to give up on this idea of maintenance for six weeks and return to weight loss and lose this extra 6 lbs or so. Then the next morning, I read this. So, I won't. God is teaching me during this time and I will keep learning. I will continue to obey God on this.

The sinful nature

We are so imperfect. Most of the things we do are imperfect. Jesus came for us because we are imperfect and sin comes easily. Don't despair. ~ Mother Angelica

I am definitely imperfect and it bugs me because I am a perfectionist. I'm trying to do this weight maintenance thing and yesterday I binged - Two 12 oz cups of Vanilla Wafers, and oatmeal raisin cookie, two 8 oz cups of cheez-its, a BIG spoonful of peanbutter (instead of a measured spoonful like I have every day), then a normal supper and pudding even though I was stuffed. Yuck!

I'm like Paul who said:

I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ~ Romans 7:15,18-19

However, he goes on to say:

But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. ~ Romans 7:20-25

And then in Chapter 8, he says:

Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God. But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.) And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. ~ Romans 8:5-14

I need to remember the part that I bolded. I do not have to do what my sinful nature wants me to do. I do not have to stuff myself with processed food (a binge is ALWAYS with processed food, never with whole foods). Through the power of the Holy Spirit I can put to death the bingeing.

Quotes from "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence - Part 3

When we are in doubt, he continued, God never fails to show us the right way to go, as long as our only goal is to please Him and show our love for Him.

He said that our sanctification does not depend as much on changing our activities as it does on doing them for God rather than for ourselves.

Our actions should unite us with God when we are involved in our daily activities, just as our prayers unite us with Him in our quiet devotions.

Never tire of doing even the smallest things for Him, because He isn't impressed so much with the dimensions or our work as with the love in which it is done.

He said that in order to be sure we are doing God's will, we should simply develop an attitude of faith, hope, and love. We need not be concerned about anything else.

Many things are possible for the person who has hope. Even more is possible for the person who has faith. Still more is possible for the person who knows how to love. But everything is possible for the person who practices all three virtues.

We should rejoice in our difficulties, bearing them as long as the Lord wills, because only through such trials will our faith become purified, more precious than gold.

If I were a preacher, I would preach nothing but practicing the presence of God. If I were to be responsible for guiding souls in the right direction, I would urge everyone to be aware of God's contant presence, if for no other reason than because His presence is a delight to our souls and spirits.

If we only knew how much we need God's grace, we would never lose touch with Him. Believe me. Make a commitment never to deliberately stray from Him, to live the rest of your life in His holy presence. Don't do this in expectation of receiving heavenly comforts; simply do it out of love for Him.

Thanksgiving

I will praise God in a song and will honor him by giving thanks. ~ Psalm 69:30 (NCV)

Things I am thankful for (not an all-inclusive list):
Jesus
Knowing Jesus
My health
My arms, legs and all my body parts that work correctly
My Dear Husband
My home
Spring and all the beautiful flowers that are blooming
The great rain we received last week
The good friends we made through our small group
Getting to stay home for Easter instead of traveling
Honey going on the Chrysalis
That I have a job (even though I don't like it and want a new one)
The hope of a new job
The cardinal that was in my tree on Valentine's Day
That my Godson is out of the hospital
High speed internet
WEEKENDS!
My parents (may they rest in peace)
All my siblings and extended family
Coffee
All the wonderful foods we have to choose from

I could go on and on and on and on...

Dear Lord, thank you for all the blessings you give to us. I know I am not nearly grateful enough for them and take so many things for granted. Everything I have and everything good about me comes from you. Thank you for it all! Amen.

Continued Maintenance

I am beginning Week 3 of my Six Week Maintenance period I talked about here. These past two weeks have been good, although I still find it difficult looking at those higher numbers on the scale and not "doing" anything about them. You might think I should stop weighing daily, but I won't. I have done that in the past and the numbers just went up. Seeing the number every morning keeps me mindful of what I am eating and prevents me from "throwing it all to the wind." I also think that in the long run it will be helpful because the number won't mean as much. It will just be data that gets collected and put in a spreadsheet.

I am enjoying having the extra "points" to eat each day. WW weight loss points is 20 for me and I am eating 27. The extra points I am getting in are coming from healthy oils, extra proteins, nuts, and whole grains. (Well, except for last weekend...then they came from cookies!) When I return to weight loss mode, those will be easy things to cut back on.

Today I read a post from Jonathon on slow weight loss. It was full of wisdom and in 5 weeks (Yes, there is an extra week in there because of the week we will be in Nashville for GMA Week.) I want to remember that lasting weight loss is slow weight loss. I don't want to rush losing these 6 extra pounds. I will be patient.

Quotes from "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence - Part 2

He continued that if someone surrenders himself entirely to God, resolving to do anything for Him, the Lord will protect that person from deception.

If he felt any ungracious thought or any temptation generating, he would not panic or feel helpless to resist it. This was because his past experience of God's faithful assistance allowed him to wait until just the right moment to call out. When the time came, he would address himself to God, and the evil thoughts would vanish right away.

Before he had experienced God's swift help in his affairs, he had attempted to plan every detail, doing the job in his own strength. Now, though, acting with childlike simplicity in God's sight, he did everything for the love of God, thanking Him for His guidance. Everything he did passed calmly, in a way that held him close to the loving presence of God.

Brother Lawrence wasn't afraid of anything. He added that he wasn't afraid of dying to self or losing himself in Christ, because complete surrender to God's will is the only secure road to follow. In it, there is always enough light to assure safe travel.

If difficulties arise, simply turn to Jesus Christ and pray for His grace, with which everything will become easy.

Neither skill nor knowledge is needed to go to God, he added. All that is necessary is a heart dedicated entirely and solely to Him out of love for Him above all others.

Living in God's Love

When a believer enters into a profound relationship with God, he cannot be content with a mediocre life under the banner of a minimalistic ethic and a superficial religiousity. In this light one can understand better the expression that Benedict borrowed from Saint Cyprian - "Prefer nothing to the love of Christ." ~ Pope Benedict XVI (from the Magnificat on July 11, 2006)

That's right. Filled with the love of God and the knowledge of His saving power, how could we be content with the greyness the world offers. God offers us a full life! Filled with color! It's hard to explain to someone still living on the other side, but for those living in God's love words aren't necessary.

For a while last year, I kept some what of a hand-written journal. I was not consistent with it and it mainly just includes interesting quotes that I read. I have decided I will slowly go through it and post things here. I think the comment about the quote was something I wrote because I did not reference where it came from.

Harden Not Your Hearts

Selected Passages from an Article by Christopher West titled "Body Language - 'Freedom From the Law'" which appeared in the West Texas Catholic on September 17, 2006

Jesus Christ did not die on a cross and rise from the dead to give us a long list of rules to follow. Christ came, in fact, to set us free from the rules.

What? Yes, it's true. As St. Paul tells us, if we are led by Christ, we are free from the law (see Gal 5).

But this doesn't mean we are free to break the law. Christ sets us free to fulfill the law. "Think not that I have come to abolish the law and the prophets. I have not some to abolish them, but to fulfill them: (Mt 5:17).

Christ fulfills the law, as the word implies, by living it to the fullest. This means not only meeting the law's demands externally, but living them to their fullest internally -- from the depths of the heart.

Christ didn't come into the world to shove laws down our rebellious throats. He came into the world to change our hearts so we would no longer need the laws.

This doesn't mean laws serve no purpose for us. To the degree that our hearts are still rebelling against God's will, we need his law to tell us where our hearts need to change.

But if we welcome God's grace in our lives and allow it to work in us, we come to find that the desires of our hearts conform more and more to God's will for us. To this extent we are "free from the law."

Again, this doesn't mean we are free to break the law. We are free to fulfill the law because we no longer desire to break it.

My point is this: we are only bitter towards the law when we desire to break it. Pick any teaching of the church that you are bitter about. Chances are it has something to do with sex (we're not usually bitter about the fact that the church calls us to feed the hungry).

Here's a proposal for us to chew on. Maybe the problem is not the teaching of the church. Maybe, just maybe, the problem is precisely what Jesus said it was: our own hardness of heart (see Mt 19:8).

And maybe the solution is not to throw the church's teaching out the window. Maybe the solution, instead, is to get on our knees and humbly pray, "Lord, please change my heart."

If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

Burning Coals

My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: "I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them," says the Lord. But you should do this: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head." Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good. ~ Romans 12:19-21

I was able to share this verse with my niece a couple of days ago. She was questioning how to act towards some people who had shunned her that she was going to be seeing again. I probably like this verse too much...the thought of burning coals on the heads of my enemies makes me a little too happy. :)

Quotes from "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence - Part 1

Our only happiness should come from doing God's will, whether it brings us some pain or great pleasure. After all, if we are truly devoted to doing God's will, pain and pleasure won't make any difference to us.

We also need to b faithful, even in dry periods. It is during those dry spells that God tests our love for Him. We should take advantage of those times to practice our determination and our surrender to Him. This will often bring us to a maturity further on in our walk with God.

Whenever he considered doing some good deed, he always consulted God about it, saying, "Lord, I will never be able to do that if You don't help me." Immediately he would be given more than enough strength.

When he sinned, he confessed it to God with these words: "I can do nothing better without You. Please keep me from falling and correct the mistakes I make." After that, he did not feel quilty about the sin.

He remarked that thinking often spoils everything and that evil usually begins with our thoughts. In Brother Lawrence's opinion, we should reject any thoughts that distract us from serving the Lord or that undermine our salvation. Freeing the mind of such thoughts permits a comfortable conversation with God...

Not my will, but Yours

Whenever we stop short of our true desire in prayer and say, "Well, I don't know; maybe this is not God's will," then we still have another level to go. It shows we are not as intimately acquainted with God as Jesus was, and as Jesus would have us to be -- "...that they may be one just as We are one..." (John 17:22). Think of the last thing you prayed about -- were you devoted to your desire or to God? Was your determination to get some gift of the Spirit for yourself or to get to God? "For your Heavenly Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him." The reason for asking is so you may get to know God better. "Delight yourself also in the Lord; and He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) We should keep praying to get a perfect understanding of God Himself. ~ My Utmost for His Highest

This was my devotional this morning...I've been contemplating it all day. I spend a lot of time praying for things that I want, especially during the work week because I REALLY want a new job. I need to spend more time getting to know God and less time worrying what I think I need.

Feed My Sheep

On March 3rd, I wrote this post about not wanting to work the Kairos Prison Ministry. Yesterday afternoon was the closing ceremony at the prison and one of the Men in White talked about this very verse "Feed My Sheep." Just a further confirmation that God wanted us to work that Kairos.

It was a long, hard weekend and I am tired, but it is a good tired.

Kairos Prison Ministry

Sugar Pop and I are working a Kairos this weekend. (No posts from me until Monday.) He will be on the music team and will be going into the prison. I will be on the kitchen team and will be helping prepare food and sack cookies. We send in all home cooked meals for the weekend and about 5,000 dozen cookies.

For more information about Kairos, please visit the official website.

Please keep the team and the "Men in White" in your prayers.

Devotional for Kairos

This is from the Life Lesson in my devotional bible. (I get a LOT from them. Have you noticed?) I have to present a little devotional tomorrow morning for the ladies working the Kairos this weekend and this is what I am going to use.

Two great problems in servings others are both problems of human nature, of focusing on our relationship with people instead of our relationship with Christ. The first problem is that people will expect too much of you; and the second, you will expect too much of them. Both of these problems are problems of unrealistic expectations. Expectations must be focused on Christ, not each other. He is the only One who will consistently not let us down.

The milk of human sympathy will undernourish your soul. No amount of human gratitude will properly compensate your effort to improve your human condition. When we focus on serving the person, we are inevitably disappointed. And what's more, we will disappoint them. Serving people for the sake of their gratitude is a guaranteed formula for disappointment. Just when you begin to feel good about your labors, someone lets you down. Or, more likely, someone will expect too much from you and accuse you of letting them down. Either way, your desitny is to be terribly discouraged...

The key is the personal relationship with Christ. The focus must not be on serving others or on being served. The focus must be on Jesus, on becoming so absorbed in the relationship with Him that every other thing is a response to our relationship. We do not serve men; we serve God. Have no expectations of men. Focus on the personal relationship with Him, and there wil be an overflow available for others.

Look to Christ alone for gratitude. If you serve Christ, then you will remember to look to Him for your approval, not to the milk of human sympathy. He will reward you for serving others; in fact, He is the reward.

When someone feels you let them down, you can surrender that relationship to Christ. You are serving Him only; He will give you the strength to serve that person more. You may want to flee from the ingratitude--the insatiable demands of other people--but Christ will empower you to be a servant if you take on His attitude. It can only come by devotion to the personal relationship.

The personal relationship with Christ is the oasis in the desrt of human relations. When people begin to wear you down, let it remind you that you are not in the overflow. It is time to drink of Christ. (From Walking with Christ in the Details of Life by Patrick Morley)

Just linking to a great blog comparing Lent and Sports: Regular Season vs Playoffs.

God's Guidance

From the Life Lesson in the devotional bible I am reading:

Learn to avoid sinful practices. Don't rub shoulders with those hostile to God. They will have a negative impact on you.

The first thing you must do is to ask the Lord to help you quietly examine the motives of your heart. Be sure that you really have set your will to obey the Lord in every respect. If this is your purpose then, and your soul is merely waitng to know the will of God in order to consent to it, then you have done your part.

From this point, you can be certain that He will make His mind known to you and will guide you on the right path.

Let no hint of doubt turn you from a steadfast faith in God's willingness and ability to guide you.

Remember this though: Our God has all knowledge and all wisdom. Therefore it is very possible He may guide you into paths wherein He knows great blessing are awaiting you just around the next fearsome turn -- paths on which, to our short-sighted human eyes, there seems to be only confusion and loss.

Tithing

There was a study guide in my bible reading today on Tithing. Sugar Pop and I have been tithing for several years now (after a bible study in our Sunday school class). It was hard to increase are giving at first because sometimes it was a struggle financially to just give the smaller amount. However, since we started tithing it has never been a problem. The money has always been there. Of course, that is always the first check I write with each paycheck, so there is not an opportunity for it to get spent any where else.

“Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! “But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’ “You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! ~ Malachi 3:8-10

Our old pastor used to ask, "Would you rather live with 100% of your money under the curse or 90% under the blessing of God?" 90% with God's blessing is definitely better!

The Next Six Weeks

I've been struggling with losing a few pounds for months now. I am really getting aggravated with it and I am feeling very obsessed with the number on the scale. I've been having binges more often which is making it even harder to get the weight off.

This weekend the sermon was on "How to Make Important Changes" and it had me thinking about my weight loss, binging, fitness, etc. I want to stop the binging. Don talked about "Rear View Mirror Practice" and the different places we identify the behavior we are wanting to change. Imagine the behavior is a car passing us on the right side. If we don't see the car (behavior) until it is passed us (we done it again), that is not a failure. It is a victory because we are identifying it. As we practice the change, we start to notice the "car" when it is beside (we are in the middle of the behavior) and we catch ourself. That is also a victory. With time we begin to use the mirror and see the behavior coming up behind us and put our self on alert.

Anyway, I was thinking about this during communion time and how I have been struggling with the number on the scale and with binging and eating healthy and all that "stuff." It came to me that I need to just do maintenance for six weeks. I almost recoil at the thought of it because I want to see that magic number. However, I also want to take some pressure off myself. I mulled it over all day yesterday and since I got up this morning. I believe the idea of doing maintenance came from God as it was nothing I had even pondered until communion yesterday. I am going to trust Him and work on maintenance the next six weeks.

Happy Daylight Savings Time!

Yippee! Daylight Savings Time is finally here! The dark winter days are over and spring is on the way. I was excited to wake up 10 minutes before the alarm this morning and be ready to get out of bed. Then I had a good quiet time and found an appropriate devotional for Friday's devotional I will be giving when we are working the Kairos. On top of all that it is RAINING today! It is a beautiful day. All praise and glory to God on High!

Fear

I was reading something today that reminded me of some dreams I used to have. When Sugar Pop and I were first married and my faith was being rekindled and ignited, I had several bad dreams. Dreams with an evil presence trying to scare me. I would do lots of praying (sometimes when I woke up and sometimes in my dream)...just calling upon the Name of Jesus to relieve my fears. That was effective and the dreams eventually stopped. I haven't had any in a long time. Occasionally, walking through the house when it is dark I will get the feeling of fear/an evil presence and I will call upon the Name of Jesus or say the Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel and then the fear is gone.

The Surrendered Life

Sugar Pop was talking to someone at work this week who is considering being baptized. As soon as she mentioned it several people there started telling her that she shouldn't do it - that she was going to have to give up too much. The next morning he read the following devotional in My Utmost for His Highest and was able to share it with her. There are no coincidences...God speaks His truth into our world in small and simple ways.

The Surrendered Life
"I am crucified with Christ." Galatians 2:20
To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his whole way of looking at things. Being born again by the Spirit of God means that we must first be willing let go before we grasp something else. The first thing we must surrender is all of our pretense or deceit. What Our Lord wants us to present to Him is not our goodness, honesty, or our efforts to do better, but real solid sin. Actually, that is all He can take from us. And what He gives us in exchange for our sin is real solid righteousness. But we must surrender all pretense that we are anything, and give up all our claims of even being worthy of God's consideration.
Once we have done that, the Spirit of God will show us what we need to surrender next. Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves. Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives? Are we ready to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?
We will suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before we fully surrender. When people really see themselves as the Lord sees them, it is not the terribly offemsive sins of the flesh that shock them, but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing Jesus Christ. When they see themselves in the light of the Lord, the shame, horror, and the desperate conviction hit home for them.
If you are faced with the question of whether or not to surrender, make a determination to go on through the crisis, surrendering all that you have and all that you are to Him. And God will then equip you to do all that He requires of you.

Mundane Jobs

I read an article today about why everyone can't have a job doing what you love. It was a good article and I especially liked this from it:

Some of the happiest people I know are not “doing what they love” in their work and career. Some assemble the same widget over and over, some push papers, some say “Welcome to Wal-Mart” all day, some clear restaurant tables, and none would tell you they always dreamed of doing any of these things.

But because they revel in family and love, making and keeping friends, togetherness and solitude, exploring the new and revisiting the old, and because they may indulge in hobbies, entertainment, art, nature, God and spirituality, these things are all there with them in their work as well. Indeed, this indulgence in the stuff of life is what enables them to discover relationships, growth, purpose and sometimes even pleasure in the work they do, mundane as that work may be. These people seem to love what they do, or at least like it, no matter what the “it” is.

There are days when I long for a mundane job...where I can just be mindless at my job and think about things that are more important. His description of his job as a carrot juice technician reminded me of my first job - as a tractor driver. I loved that job. It was boring and mundane, but I had solitude, plenty of time to think and reflect, and most of the time I had a radio to listen to. I did a lot of growing up during those 4 summers of tractor driving because of all the time I spent by myself. I miss those days.

Scriptures for Fitness

I went through my fitness notebook this morning and this is a list of various scriptures I have written in it:

Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food. ~ Isaiah 55:2

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take you stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you! ~ Galatians 5:1

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak. ~ Matthew 26:41

Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. ~ 1 Corinthians 6:12

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. ~ Hebrews 10:36

I discipline my body...training it to do what it should. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:27

Kairos Novena

I binged Monday afternoon. I am tired of this. I do not want to beat myself up about it though. I am going to move forward. I will begin a NINE DAY KAIROS NOVENA to prepare myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually for the Kairos that begins on the 15th.

Here are my daily goals for the Novena:
1. Drink 5 bottles of water a day
2. Drop to 20 points (have been at 22)
3. Minimum 7,500 steps per day
4. Have Chai tea or milk instead of pudding for my evening snack.
5. Adjust morning and afternoon snacks to include carb/protein combination.
6. Quiet my world...less radio, less tv, less itunes...listen for the still small voice of God.
7. Cut down blog reading.
8. Get to bed before 11:00.
9. Prepare at least 9 bags for donation to the Women's Center.

I will also be aiming for 100% on my daily healthy habits. 9 days at 100% seems impossible "but with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26.

March Healthy Habits

I never posted my Healthy Habits for February. Here are my March habits (which are the same as February's):


Journal Food & Fitness
< 10 Flex
Binge Free
At Least 5000 Steps
Cardio
Core
Strength
Stretch/Yoga
2nd Vitamin
Water - at least 4 24 oz bottles
Produce - at least 5 servings
Dairy - at least 2 servings
Healthy Oil
Nuts
Fiber One
Whole Grain
Caffeine~0-1 servings
Alcohol~0-1 servings
No Sugar
No Flour
No Junk (popcorn, frozen novelties, chips, gum, hot chocolate, soda, fast food)
No Food or Drinks from the Breakroom
Spend at least 5 minutes Cleaning or Flinging
Enter Receipts & Bills
Keep in Touch
Blog
Feet & Fingers - Put lotion on feet and cuticle salve on fingers before bed
Pampering
Bed Routine - aspirin, calcium (if 2 or fewer dairy servings), wash face, use toner, brush & floss
Bed before 11:00

Some of these habits are EASY to get in (water). Others are HARD...like getting in bed before 11:00.

I've struggled today and got into the cheezits at work again. We have such junk in our breakroom. Then I ended up going to the VENDING MACHINE for some cookies. I couldn't even tell you the last time I went to the vending machine. It is definitely that "time of the month" and I just wanted to eat everything.

Tomorrow will leave nine days before the Kairos. I am going to commit to really working hard to prepare myself mentally, physically, and spiritually for the weekend. Enough of this overeating. Enough Already! Look for my Kairos Novena Plan tomorrow.

Trust

Do you find it hard to trust God when things are going poorly? Or is it harder when things are going well because you're more self-sufficient? ~ Life Lesson from Devotional Bible

When things are going well I find it easier to trust God because I can see the things He is doing. When things are going poorly and I am waiting on Him, I am probably trusting more, but it is more difficult because I am not seeing Him moving.

Lord, help me to trust You and to rely on You and give me a greater faith while I wait on You. Amen.

Spiritual Warfare

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. ~ Ephesians 6:10-18

Sugar Pop and I have discovered over the years that anytime we are getting ready to do something to spread God's message that things just go wrong, sometimes strange things - like lightbulbs exploding in the bathroom, car batteries dying, etc.

Well, Honey is going on a Mission Trip next week. She has had a lot of things go wrong for her this week - spilling coffee on herself, running out of gas, backing into a trailer, dropping her cell phone in ramen noodles, slinging chocolate syrup into the silverware drawer, having a friend spend the night and get sick. God is going to use her in a BIG way during this mission trip.

Kairos

Sugar Pop and I are working a Kairos this month. We have a lot of things going on and I've really not been wanting to work it. Today was our last team meeting before the Kairos and I was dreading it and really "wanting permission" from God to be able to drop off the team.

I opened up My Utmost for His Highest for today's reading. Here is an excerpt:

The Lord's next point is--"Pour yourself out. Don't testify about how much you love Me and don't talk about the wonderful revelation you have had, just 'Feed My sheep.'" Jesus has some extraordinarily peculiar sheep: some that are unkempt and dirty, some that are awkward or pushy, and some that have gone astray! But it is impossible to exhaust God's love, and it is impossible to exhaust my love if it flows from the Spirit of God within me. The love of God pays no attention to my prejudices caused by my natural individuality. If I love my Lord, I have no business being guided by natural emotions--I have to feed His sheep. We will not be delivered or released from His commission to us.

So...I'll be working the Kairos in two weeks and God will give me His love and His Spirit and His Time and His Energy to Feed His Sheep.

Son-Bathing

The most important thing that ever happens in prayer is letting ourselves be loved by God...Prayer is like sun bathing. When you spend a lot of time in the sun, people notice it. You look like you've been out in the sun because you've got a tan. Prayer -- or bathing in the Son of God's love (Son-bathing?) -- makes you look different. The awareness of being loved brings a lightness and a tint of brightness and sometimes, for no apparent reason, a smile plays at the corner of your mouth. ~ Brennan Manning from Lion and Lamb (quoted in The Dieter's Prayer Book)

Submission

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:21-33

I was asked to post this verse this morning and since I didn't come up with anything to blog about in my daily readings, I thought this would be good. So many times the verses about a wife submitting to her husband are taking out of context of this entire passage. Husbands are also called to love their wives as they love their own bodies - that is a LOT of love. And to love their wives as Christ loved the church - that is EVEN more love. I remember a pastor one time was preaching on this verse and he recalled a dialogue with a man.

Pastor: Do you love your wife the way Christ loved the church?
Man: Oh yes, I would die for my wife!
Pastor: Yes, but would you vacuum?

That has always stuck in my head. We can say we love someone enough to die for them and we probably do, but it is not often that we are called to literally sacrifice our life for that person. However, we can die to our selfish desires every day for them.

Here is a link to sermon on this passage (different pastor): To Listen. To Download. If those links don't work, visit here and look for "Getting a Handle on Love" on 1/6 & 1/7.