Cheez-Its

I wanted to overeat Cheez-its yesterday afternoon at work. Instead, I made this list of reasons why I shouldn't:

1. I would miss the No Breakroom Food Habit
2. I would miss the No Flour Habit
3. I would overeat and then not want supper and we are going out with friends.
4. The scale would DEFINITELY be up tomorrow from the sodium.
5. A sick coworker probably sneezed on their hands and then reached in for some chips without washing up first.
6. The bag wasn't sealed last night so a mouse or roach probably got in there and crawled around.
7. Isaiah 55:2
8. Galatians 5:1
9. If hunger is not the problem, then food is not the answer.
10. I'm allergic to Cheezits - I break out in fat.

Traditions

No blog from my quiet time this morning. I am (or should I say God is) working on something but it is not complete.

How about a list?

Traditions
1. Working a Thomas Kincade puzzle every winter.
2. Eating chili on Halloween.
3. Watching Groundhog Day on Groundhog Day.
4. Shopping with my sister on Black Friday.
5. Having friends over and making balloon hats on New Year's Eve.
6. Buying an angel every year at Christmas time in memory of my mom.
7. No matter what I get my Godchildren for gifts, always including M&Ms with it.

There are probably more, but I can't think of them at the moment. I will probably come back and add to this later. What are your traditions?

Quotes

When I was cleaning out my hoard of books, I ran across a journal I had written a bunch of quotes in. Here they are:

We should love God because He is God, and the measure of our love should be to love Him without measure. ~ St. Bernard

Not without reward is God loved, although He should be loved without thought of reward. ~ St. Bernard

The heart has reasons that reason does not know. ~ Blaise Pascal

If we love God and are faithful to Him, we shall be at peace, and this peace will endure. ~ St. Madeline Sophie Barat

The most powerful weapon to conquer the devil is humility. For, as he does not know at all how to employ it, neither does he know how to defend himself against it. ~ St. Vincent de Paul

The air which we breathe, the bread which we eat, the heart which throbs in our bosoms, are not more necessary for man that he may live as a human being, than is prayer for the Christian that he my live as a Christian. ~ St. John Eudes

Salvation is shown to faith, it is prepared for hope, but it is given only to charity. Faith points out the way to the land of promise as a pillar of fire, hope feeds us with its manna of sweetness, but charity actually introduces us into the promised land. ~ St. Francis de Sales

It is by the path of love, which is charity, that God draws near man, and man to God. But where charity is not found, God cannot dwell. If, then, we possess charity, we possess God, for "God is Charity" (1 John 4:8). ~ St. Albert the Great

The proof of love is in the works. Where love exists, it works great things. But when it ceases to act, it ceases to exist. ~ St. Gregory the Great

Charity means pardoning that which is unpardonable, or it is no virtue at all. Hope means believing when things are hopeless, or it is no virtue at all. And Faith means believing the incredible, or it is no virtue at all. ~ G.K. Chesterton

What is now called free thought is valued, not because it is free thought, but because it is freedom from thought. ~ G.K. Chesterton

Virtues are formed by prayer. Prayer preserves temperance. Prayer suppresses anger. Prayer prevents emotions of pride and envy. Prayer draws us into the Soul of the Holy Spirit, and raises man to Heaven. ~ St. Ephraem

True charity consists in doing good to those who do us evil, and in thus winning them over. ~ St. Alphonsus Liguori

He loves, He hopes, He waits. If He came down on our altars on certain days only, some sinner, on being moved to repentence, might have to look for Him, and not finding Him, might have to wait. Our Lord prefers to wait Himself for the sinner for years rather than keep him waiting one instant. ~ St. Peter Julian Eymard

What no law nor any human strength could accomplish was done by Christ in His moment of greatest weakness - the Salvation of the World. ~ Marie L. Bocko

Don't be Discouraged

From the "Life Lesson" in my devotional bible:

Is there a project in your life that you've give up on because of discouragement? No matter how great the task, God promises to help us through if we are obedient to him. Today, get back on track with your project and hold fast to the promise that God will see you through it.

My "Memorize the Message" verse for the week:

Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take. ~ Joshua 1:9

Yes, I have been discouraged lately about the new job situation. I haven't heard anything and during my daily readings I kept getting the message to wait. Today I've been told twice to not get discouraged. Thank you Lord for speaking to me.

Mom & Dad

Heavenly Father, I miss my mom and dad. I hope you are enjoying their company there in heaven. Will you please tell them I said hello?

The Cost of Nondiscipleship

I was reading the lesson from Devotional Classics that we will be studying at small group this week. It is an excerpt from Dallas Willard's The Spirit of Disciplines.

The excerpt discusses how our churches are filled with "undiscipled disciples." He says, "Contemporary American churches in particular do not require following Christ in his example, spirit, and teachings as a condition of membership—either of entering into or continuing in fellowship of a denomination or a local church." Most fundamentalist and evangelical churches only require baptism for membership (the church we attend doesn't even require that). The requirement for baptism is proclaiming your belief that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that you want and need Him to be your Lord and Savior. Once you are a member, you are expected to grow in your relationship with Christ, but there is nothing required of you to do that.

This is very different from the church I grew up (the Catholic church). To become Catholic (as an adult) you enter into RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) and spend several months learning about the Church before making a final decision and receiving the sacraments. That is good, as you do learn to be a disciple. However, it is a difficult and long process (compared to just proclaiming your belief and being baptized), and that probably prevents people from pursuing it. Which reminds me of a G.K. Chesterton quote, "The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried."

Which is right? Churches that make it easy to be a member and are filled with lots of Christians, but not many disciples. Or churches that make it difficult to be a member, but have more discipled Christians? I don't have an answer...All I know is that it is best to be a discipled Christian because:

Nondiscipleship costs abiding peace, a life penetrated throughout by love, faith that sees everything in the light of God’s overriding governance for good, hopefulness that stands firm in the most discouraging of circumstances, power to do what is right and withstand the forces of evil. In short, it costs exactly that abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring (John 10:10). ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

As disciples of Christ living the abundant life we want everyone to enjoy the same thing so we start telling people you need to do this, this, and this. Instead of allowing Christ to transform them from the inside out, we try to transform them from the outside in. So, I guess the answer to my question is that it is best not to judge Christians (and their church) on whether or not they are disciples. We must leave that up to God as we can not see their hearts. I must remove the wooden beam from my own eye and allow God to transform me. Perhaps, by seeing my life transformed, others will allow God to do the same thing for them.

(Note: I had a hard time putting this into words. I apologize if it makes no sense and rambles and isn't tied together all nice and neat. Unfortunately, I am not good with words - which is why I'm an accountant and not a writer.)

Book Hoard

I have been hoarding books. In the past 10 years or so, I have bought a lot of books. Some I have read and some I thought I would read at the time. These are mostly religious books. It is time to face the fact that I have too many books to read and I will probably never re-read most of the books I have read. So, I have spent the past few days clearing out books and I am taking most of them to the student center. I found it really hard to release these books, because "what if" I DO want to read them/read them again. Well, I made a list and I know that they are going to be in the library at the student center if I do want them and can't afford to buy them. I am donating 55 books - 34 of which I have already read. This doesn't include a big box of books I donated to the women's center a couple of months ago, or the bag I am taking next week to the women's center, or the books I have sold in garage sales over the year. I told you I was hoarding books. I need to go on a book buying fast.

Warm Heart

Dear Lord, there are days in my quiet time that I don't feel like I get a specific message from you. Today is one of those days. However, as I sit here, my heart is stilled warmed by spending time reading Your Word. Are you working on my heart without letting my mind know what you are doing? That is fine. My heart needs lots of work - it needs lots of You! Thank you for the ways You work in my life that I will never realize.

Food that does not satisfy

Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food. ~ Isaiah 55:2 (NLT)

I am just posting this scripture here as a reminder to myself.

Only the Lord can save

I alone am the LORD; only I can rescue you. I promised to save you, and I kept my promise. You are my witnesses that no other god did this. I, the LORD, have spoken. I am God now and forever. No one can snatch you from me or stand in my way. ~ Isaiah 43:11-13 (CEV)

Lord, please save me. Please move me from working at Unhappy to Happy. You have told me to wait on you. I am waiting, but right now I feel discouraged. My trust is in You. Would you please send me a little sign today that You are still working on a place for me? In Jesus' Name I Pray. Amen.

Do Not Despair

Our courteous Lord does not want his servants to despair even if they fall frequently and grievously. Our failing does not stop His loving us. ~ Julian of Norwich

Praise the Lord that our failing does not keep Him from loving us. I feel like I've been failing a lot lately. I have been having problems with bingeing again. Not HUGE binges, but enough food (and of course it is junk food) that I feel overly stuffed and gross from eating. Yesterday was another one of those days. The prior three times this month, I was blaming it on cold medicine but that was not the problem yesterday (unless it was a sympathy reaction to Sugar Pop's cold medicine). So yesterday makes 4 times this month - the most since November 2005.

I am turning this over to God. This morning I pulled out the Dieter's Prayer Book and I will start reading it again. I have read through this book at least three times. It really does help keep me on track and I always seem to struggle when I am noting reading it. Actually, I should say that I am always struggling when I pick it back up again.

I am tired of fighting this binge monster by myself. It is time to let God fight him for me.

Heart Rate Monitor

I finally did it! I have been wanting a heart rate monitor for months and months. A friend gave me a $35 gift certificate at Amazon for my birthday so I decided to put that towards the Polar F6 Heart Rate Monitor. I'm excited and looking forward to using it at the gym. The machines there do not pick up my heart rate well at all and so I can't assume I am working out at the right level.

Be Lights!

Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

This is my Memorize the Message verse for the week (by the way, I have yet to memorize one, but I do leave it out on my desk to read all week long). It ties in with the Craig's Dirty Feet message yesterday. His message was about serving and he said, "By serving we direct the eyes of people to the cross." Serving is a way to be light to the world.

This also made me thinking about how we should be open with others. Sometimes, as Christians we think we must always be perfect and never make any mistakes or else we might cause someone to stumble. I think this attitude actually causes people to reject Christianity. First, they believe they must be perfect BEFORE they can be Christian (when actually God accepts us as we are and THEN He perfects us). Secondly, when Christians have the attitude that they are perfect and then stumble, it causes people to reject Christianity because they see us as hypocrites. Instead, we should admit that we are still not perfect and that we have difficulties and then we can share how God is working in our lives to change us. When we share how God has changed us and is still changing us, it gives people hope that He will do the same for them.

Stability

If you lose your faith, you will probably do so gradually. In tiny increments you will get spiritually sloppy...Stability in the storm comes not from seeking a new message, but from understanding an old one...Ask God to help you become more faithful in anchoring your life in Jesus, even when there are no storms on the horizon.

This was from the Life Lessons in my bible reading today. I liked it because it stresses the importance of being consistent in our spiritual disciplines, so that we don't gradually fall away from our faith. I want to be growing in my walk with Christ, not falling away from Him. Also, it is important to work on this during the calm times of our life. By being strong in faith, when those hard times come they will be much easier to endure if we already have a strong faith.

This message can also apply to our physical life as well - to diet and exercise. It is important for me to remain to be diligent with my healthy habits. If I slack a little bit on day, it can lead to more slacking later. I need to work on making my habits such a routine in my life that when chaos occurs, I will be able to keep up my habits. I am definitely not perfect in my habits, but certain things are more natural to me. Like soda, for instance. Avoiding soda is one of my habits and it was difficult at first, but now the only time having one crosses my mind is when we go to a movie or travel and now I am comfortable with NOT having one (the last time I had a soda was October 7th).

Freshness

ARE YOU FRESH FOR EVERYTHING?
"Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." John 3:3

Sometimes we are fresh and eager to attend a prayer meeting do we feel that same freshness for such mundane tasks as polishing shoes?

Being born again by the Spirit is an unmistakable work of God, as mysterious as the wind, as surprising as God Himself. We don't know where it begins--it is hidden away in the depths of our soul. Being born again from above is an enduring, perpetual, and eternal beginning. It provides a freshness all the time in thinking, talking, and living--a continual surprise of the life of God. Staleness is an indication that something in our lives is out of step with God. We say to ourselves, "I must do this thing or it will never get done." That is the first sign of staleness. Do we feel fresh this very moment or are we stale, frantically searching our minds for something to do? Freshness is not the result of obedience; it comes from the Holy Spirit. Obedience keeps us "in the light as He is in the light..." (1 John 1:7).

Jealously guard your relationship to God. Jesus prayed "that they may be one, just as We are one" - with nothing in between (John 17:22). Keep your whole life continually open to Jesus Christ. Don't pretend to be open with Him. Are you drawing your life from any other source than God Himself? If you are depending on something else as your source of freshness and strength, you will not realize when is power is gone.

Being born of the Spirit means much more than we usually think. It gives us a new vision and keeps us absolutely fresh for everything through the never-ending supply of the life of God.

I liked this reading from My Utmost for His Highest. (There is lots of good stuff in it, I highly recommend it. Don't feel like you have to start it at the beginning of the year. This is a daily devotional you can start on any day.) I love having my morning Quiet Time. It is this time spent with God that gives me freshness. Journalling has really helped with this because I am paying more attention to the messages God wants me to hear in my reading so that I have something to journal about it. Before there were days when I couldn't even have told you what I just read. But now, I really think about it and absorb it and learn from it and carry it with me all day.

I am just amazed at the transformation God has done in me over the years. Five years ago I had no quiet time at all. I did do some bible reading and study, but it did not involve getting up early to spend time with God. I was just fitting into my day whenever I could. And it certainly wasn't consistent. My consistent quiet time started when I began reading Streams in the Desert (another good daily devotional you can start at any time, particularly good if you are going through a period of suffering). That daily reading gave me consistency and the length of my quiet time has grown since then. I used to get up and get entirely ready for the day before I had my quiet time, but in May I started having my quiet time first. I really noticed a difference doing that. Before I was anxious and my thoughts were filled with everything about my day while I was getting ready. Now, I get up and have my quiet time first and I am much happier and have a better outlook on the day. It gives me a freshness for the day and I love it!

Do you have a quiet time?

P.S. If you buy either of these devotionals, I recommend getting the updated version edited by James Reimann. I tried reading the traditional version of My Utmost and had a very hard time understanding it. It was first published in 1927 in England so the language was very difficult for me.

P.P.S. I don't know how the polishing shoes comment at the beginning of this devotional fits in with the rest, but I found it humorous because the past few weeks, when I have put on my black shoes I have thought to myself that I really needed to polish them. Of course, I don't have time in the morning and forget by the end of the day. So, it is like God was reminding me this morning that I needed to polish my shoes.

Waiting Patiently

Are you waiting patiently for God to work out his loving plan? Instead of trying to "make things happen," trust God's timing and submit your dreams to him.

That is from the Life Lesson in my bible reading today. Can you guess what I am going to write about? Why, of course, my new job that I am still waiting for! I have been waiting and praying for a long time now. Yesterday I wanted so bad to call my brother and ask. (He works there and "sometime" we are supposed to go to lunch with the guy who is over the division that is having job openings soon.) Instead I just sent him an email asking a question about our niece. I refrained from asking about lunch. Interestingly, if I had done my bible reading yesterday (instead of reading from the Devotional Classics), I would have read this yesterday and I wouldn't have even had a struggle with myself on whether or not to ask. Wow! I was heading this message before I read it (but just barely).

Heavenly Father, Thank you so much for speaking to me through my daily reading. You are such an awesome God that You take the time to put a tiny little message out there for me. I will trust in Your timing. I know that Your timing will be best and perfect. Thank you for helping me to be patient and to trust in You. Amen.

Addendum: When I read My Utmost for His Highest is said this:

When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word.

Food!

Did you miss me this morning? I started a post during my quiet time, but it is going to make me think more and isn't ready for the "world" yet - if there is even anyone out there reading this. Anyway, I thought I would give you a list today.

Foods I Eat Almost Every Day
1 cup of coffee (half caf/half decaf) with 4 tablespoons powdered milk and a packet of Splenda
Braum's Yogurt
Motts Healthy Harvest Applesauce
Fiber One Cereal
Oatmeal (made with 1/2 cup old fashioned oats, 1 cup milk, and 1/2 cup "Just Blueberries, Just Strawberries, or Just Cherries" - put in a BIG bowl and microwave for 4 minutes, watch to make sure it doesn't boil over)
Fresh Fruit - since it is winter it is usually an apple or clementines
Health Valley 14 Garden Vegetable Soup with a can of chicken - sometimes with a little curry seasoning in it. Yum!
Ezekiel 4:9 Cinnamon Raisin Bread
Ezekiel 4:9 Sesame Bread (These are sprouted grain breads and contain no flour - look for them in the freezer section)
Carrots
Laughing Cow Cheese
Roasted Red Pepper Hummus
String Cheese
14 gms of Smuckers Natural Peanut Butter with Honey
Grilled or Baked Chicken
A fresh salad (see picture here) with olive oil and vinegar dressing
Steamed veggies seasoned with Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb Seasoning
1 glass of wine
SF/FF Chocolate Fudge Pudding made with Braums 1% Milk

I don't eat ALL those things everyday, but these are the foods that make up the majority of what I eat most of the time. These are also the things I miss the most when we are away from home.

Things I used to eat/drink a lot, but hardly ever have now
Cereal
Fast Food
Soda
Gum
Ice Cream
Fudgesicles
Packets of Hot Chocolate
Candy
White Flour

Puzzle Pieces

From the side bar in my Max Lucado Devotional Bible:

Find an enticing jigsaw puzzle and try putting it together. As you experience the challenge and frustration of finding the right pieces, stop and read these psalms again (16&17). Note the connections you can make with these psalms, the puzzle, and your life. Rest in the fact that God has already put together the "big picture" of your life.

I laughed when I read this as I have been working on a puzzle since Saturday. Since we have lived in this house, I have done a Thomas Kinkade puzzle every winter (except last year, we never had enough snow to stay home and do a puzzle). I thought about how when I am working on a puzzle, I will work on sections at a time - dark areas, light areas, the flowers, houses, etc. That is also how life is - sometimes are life is dark, sometimes filled with flowers - God is working on the different parts of the puzzle of our life. Sometimes things feel difficult and we don't understand, but God has the box with the picture on it and He knows what it will look like when our life is complete. We must trust Him that even the dark areas are important to the whole picture.

Thank you God for putting the big picture together for me. I don't know what is is but I'm sure it will be beautiful. Help me to be patient as I wait for the next piece to be placed. Amen.

Walk to Emmaus Reunion Sheet

Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and kindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Holy Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth. O, God, Who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and every enjoy Your consolations. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

Review your service sheet - Christ needs you. He needs you committed in faith, so that you may witness that faith in Christ with your brothers and sisters through:
Your Spiritual Life - Morning Devotion, Prayer Life, Worship Attendance, Communion, Spiritual Retreat
Your Study - Reading Holy Scriptures, Daily Spiritual Guides, Religious publications, Denominational newspapers, Religious magazines, Bible studies, Church school classes, Religious Seminars
Your Action - What have you done during this week so Christ will be better known and loved in your: Family, vocation, community, small group, Christian community

Closest to Christ - At what moment this past week did you feel closest to Christ?
When Sugar Pop and I were discussing the Devotional Classics reading and how it tied in with the sermon this week.

Call to Discipleship - At what moment during this week did you feel you were responding to God's call to be His disciple? Where did you participate in being the Church this week, the heart beat of Christ?
I called some couples that were interested in our small group to let them know we were still meeting (even with the bad weather).

Discipleship Denied - When was your faith tested this week through failure?
Last week I had told the lady who runs video at church that I would be interested in helping (now that Honey has her driver's license and I won't have to drive her anymore) and that I would come this Sunday to learn how. When it came time to set the alarm and get up early, I did not want to do it (but I did it anyway and enjoyed it once I got there).

Your old plan - How faithful were you to fulfilling your plan this week? Did everything I had planned.
Your new plan - What is your plan for spirituality, study, and action for the week to come?
Spirituality ~ Morning Quiet Time, Worship on Sunday.
Study ~ Continue bible reading and devotional reading. Need to read and study devotional for small group. I am going to lead this time.
Action ~ Kairos team meeting on Saturday, make at least one trip to the Downtown Women's Center with donations.

Prayer of Thanksgiving:
Almighty God, who lives and reigns forever, we give You thanks for all the gifts You have bestowed upon us. Amen.

Card Drawer

This is the drawer I cleaned out yesterday. I had a lot more cards than I thought. I need to go on a card buying fast until I use them all.

By the way, I think people LOVE getting cards, especially for no particular reason. I know I do. It is a nice break from all the junk mail and bills that I normally get. When I was in high school, I was friends with some college guys and we wrote each other cards and letters all the time. They LOVED it! College kids rarely get any decent mail. I am sure that is when my card mailing started. I would laugh at their letters. Once I sprayed a letter with perfume and the first one home, put it in a ziploc bag to save the scent. I thought that was so funny!

Who have you sent a card to lately?

Peaches

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being "care-full," you find yourselves cared for. ~ Matthew 5:7 (The Message)

This is part of my weekly "Memorize the Message" verse. When I read it, it reminded me of something that happened this summer. I had just started a new "Keep in Touch" healthy habit and Sugar Pop and I had gone out to eat. I saw a man at the restaurant who reminded me of my dad's cousin who had passed away 4 years ago. I thought to myself that I should call his wife to say hello sometime. I wrote her name down on our receipt (because I knew I would forget). The next day I am sitting on home, working on bills and find the receipt with her name on it (yes, I had forgotten). I looked up her number and called her. We visited for a little bit and then she asked if I would like some fresh peaches. Heck Yeah! So, I went over to her house and picked peaches and we had a nice visit. Here I was trying to be a blessing (being "care-full") and I ended up being blessed (cared for) with the most AWESOME tasting peaches I had had in years.

I have four bags of peaches in the freezer. I think I will pull one out today to enjoy and give her a call to thank her again for the treat.

Happy Heart

I trust in your love. My heart is happy because you saved me. I sing to the Lord because he has taken care of me. ~ Psalm 13:5-6

Some mornings it is really hard to get out of bed to have my quiet time. This was one. I've been feeling like I was getting a cold, I wanted some extra sleep, it's cold, Sugar Pop didn't hear my first alarm so we didn't have our normal snuggle time. But, I had to get up because I am going with Sugar Pop to church early and learn how to run the video. It will be fun, but scary because everyone sees if you mess up.

Anyway, even though I wasn't thrilled about getting out of bed, my heart is now happy. Reading the Word does that for me. It changes me. That is a good thing, because there are days when I really need a lot of changing.

Before and After

I am working on cleaning, organizing, and simplifying around the house. In an effort to help motivate myself, I want to start taking before and after pictures of the areas I work on. This is the desk drawer I cleaned out today.

Blue Jay

Here is a picture of one of the Blue Jays that visits the tree (and fruit & nut bell I have hanging in it) outside my window. There was also a Cardinal today, but I wasn't quick enough to get a picture.

Evil Candy Coated Fruit

It started off innocently enough on Monday afternoon. I had one piece of this chocolate covered dried fruit that was in the breakroom. I told myself that it would be fine to have piece every day. I was in my maintenance range and I had upped my points to 24 so I could fit in a little treat.

Then on Tuesday, I had lunch with a friend at a mexican food restaurant. I picked a fairly healthy thing on the menu, but then LET myself get talked into a sopapilla for dessert. The sugar and flour set me off. When I got back to lunch, I still wanted to have my one piece, but instead of one, it was one of each flavor. And then I went back for more, and then more, and then more, and then some M&Ms and then some Cheezits. I was MISERABLE by the time I got home. I had planned a healthy supper (chicken was thawed and everything), but I was too miserable to cook or eat. We picked up some chili for supper and I couldn't even eat a bowl full.

Wednesday I had lunch with my sister for my birthday. I did ok, but not as healthy as I usually eat - 1/2 a sandwich, a cup of soup and we shared a FABULOUS piece of key lime pie. The rest of the day was normal. I did not have any of the evil candied fruit.

Thursday was a normal day. Whew! Because I needed a normal day.

Friday it was cold and froggy (freezing fog). It was slick out so I stayed at the office for lunch (which I identified today as a trigger). The office manager ordered pizza, but I had some of my favorite soup in my desk drawer and had that instead. I wanted something sweet to top off lunch though. I had a cup of sugar free hot chocolate (which I haven't had in ages as it is sometimes a trigger). Then my snacks of string cheese and carrots I brought. I still wanted more. There were these chocolate covered pecans in the breakroom so I had TWO cups of those. For supper we went out with friends for my birthday and I ate WAY TOO MUCH. That was my planned splurge for the week and it was good. I probably would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't been eating junk all week.

Anyway, it is time for the binging/overeating/junk food to stop. It makes me feel gross. It will make me gain weight. It is not worth it. Dinner last night was worth it, the key lime pie on my birthday was worth it, the rest of the food was just junk!

I walked on the treadmill for 50 minutes today and listened to some Julia Havey. I felt so much better, so much more in control, so ready to return to my healthy habits afterward. It has been a good day. I almost have all my healthy habits in and haven't missed anything. I am aiming for 100% today. It will be a great start in getting back to my routine. I thrive on my routine.

He is perfecting me

Our small group is going to be using the book "Devotional Classics" for our lessons this year. I was reading through the selection for tomorrow evening's group. It is from C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity (which we read in the fall).

Lewis talks about the natural self and how the claims of "morality" interfere with the desires of the natural self. We hope that when the demands of morality of been met that there will still be a chance to do what we want. But how the more we obey our conscience the more our conscience demands of us

"and your natural self, which is thus being starved and hampered and worried at every turn, will get angrier and angrier. In the end, you will either give up trying to be good, or else become one of those people who, as they say, 'live for others' but always in a discontented, grumbling way--always wondering why others do not notice it more and always making a martyr of yourself. And once you have become that you will be a far greater pest to anyone who has to live with you than you would have been if you had remained frankly selfish."

Do you know anyone like that? Have you been like that? I have - it is NOT a happy place to be. In some of Flylady's emails she talks about not being a "martyr," about doing the things you do to keep your home clean and running for YOU (because you love yourself) and not getting angry with people for "not doing their part." I used to get so angry at Sugar Pop for never making the bed (he is usually the last to get up), but then I realized Sugar Pop doesn't care if the bed is made. I am the one who likes seeing the bed made. Once I owned the responsibility of making the bed and stopped grumbling about always being the one who made the bed, I was much happier and didn't carry around those angry feelings any more. I could go on to list other things like that around the house, but I'll spare you all the details.

How does this relate to my Christian walk? So many people live their lives doing what people expect of them and they grumble about it and it is hard and you feel like you are always depriving yourself of fun and what you would rather do. But, when you start living your life for Christ who is IN YOU, you are finally loving yourself. Living my life for Christ is so much easier than living my life to please others. Trying to please others and be good requires a perfection that is unattainable, but living for Christ only requires doing the next thing He asks of me. He doesn't require perfection from me - He is perfecting me. It will probably take all of eternity for Him to do it, but it is so much easier than when I was trying to do it myself.

Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is coming. He will lead you into all truth. He will not speak His Own words. He will speak what He hears. He will tell you of things to come. He will honor Me. He will receive what is Mine and will tell it to you. ~ John 16:13-14 (NLV)

Lord, help me to listen to the Holy Spirit and to follow the Holy Spirit "into all truth." Jesus is the Way, and the Truth, and the Life. By following the Holy Spirit, I will be lead closer to Jesus. Jesus is what I need - He must increase, I must decrease. Amen.

Chocolate

I have been thinking lately about giving up chocolate for lent. It will be a sacrifice and hard, but that is the point after all. This morning I was thinking about it while I was showering and thinking how Sugar Pop probably wouldn't like it - we love chocolate and one of our favorite things to do is to share a nice bar of dark chocolate when we go to the movies. So, of course, when I sit down to read My Utmost for His Highest, I am not surprised to read:

WHAT MY OBEDIENCE TO GOD COSTS OTHER PEOPLE
"They laid hold upon one Simon . . . and on him they laid the cross." Luke 23:26

If we obey God it is going to cost other people more than it costs us, and that is where the sting comes in. If we are in love with our Lord, obedience does not cost us anything, it is a delight, but it costs those who do not love Him a good deal. If we obey God it will mean that other people's plans are upset, and they will gibe us with it - "You call this Christianity?" We can prevent the suffering; but if we are going to obey God, we must not prevent it, we must let the cost be paid.

Our human pride entrenches itself on this point, and we say - I will never accept anything from anyone. We shall have to, or disobey God. We have no right to expect to be in any other relation than our Lord Himself was in (see Luke 8:2-3).

Stagnation in spiritual life comes when we say we will bear the whole thing ourselves. We cannot. We are so involved in the universal purposes of God that immediately we obey God, others are affected. Are we going to remain loyal in our obedience to God and go through the humiliation of refusing to be independent, or are we going to take the other line and say - I will not cost other people suffering? We can disobey God if we choose, and it will bring immediate relief to the situation, but we shall be a grief to our Lord. Whereas if we obey God, He will look after those who have been pressed into the consequences of our obedience. We have simply to obey and to leave all consequences with Him.

Beware of the inclination to dictate to God as to what you will allow to happen if you obey Him.

I am taking that as confirmation on giving up chocolate.

Contentment

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. ~ Matthew 5:5 (The Message)

Today is my 38th birthday! It is obvious to me that I am content because there is not anything I "must have" for my birthday. In fact, Sugar Pop probably won't be getting me anything because I've told him there is nothing I really want or need. Sure, there are some things that would be cool to have (a new job, a laptop, a heart rate monitor), but those aren't really things for birthday presents.

What is the reason for my contentment? Because I have finally learned (and am still learning) that the empty spot in my heart can not be filled with things - it can only be filled with God! As I grow in my relationship with Him, I become more and more content and it is a great feeling.

Dear Lord, on this my birthday, I thank you for You! That is the best gift I could ever ask for or receive.

Listening for God's Will

I bowed my head and thanked the Lord. I praised the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, because he led me on the right road. ~ Genesis 24:48

The sidebar topic in my bible reading today was about following God's will and about checking our plans and habits against the teaching of the Bible. Here are some things I highlighted from it:

"In God's will we find successful living, God's way may be harder than the world's way--but he rewards obedience!"

"If you want God's will, give Him your total self--a living sacrifice--and that means your body and your thoughts, your mind, which He can renew from within, if you let Him."

"Sometimes God will slam shut every door but the one He wants you to walk through. You may have to try several doors to learn which is the right one."

"He has written to you--in His Word. He will talk to you, with the inner witness of His Spirit. And He will guide you as you weigh outward circumstances."

As I am growing in my Walk with God, I am learning to watch for and listen to the ways He leads me. If I am not paying attention, I could miss some of the ways He speaks to me. I haven't been doing this journalling for long, but it is really helping me to slow down and pay attention and think about what I am reading in the Word and in my devotionals. I am learning to listen to His still small voice. I like it and I look forward to what He is going to reveal to me in the days ahead.

Thank you Lord for speaking to me and revealing yourself to me. Help me to watch and listen closely so that I may hear You. And when I do hear you, help me to obey. Amen.

Salad

This is a picture of the typical salad I eat for supper almost every night. I try to have every color of the rainbow. I always miss blue though. I guess some day I might need to try adding a few blueberries and see how I lack that. You will also notice there are no tomatoes. Yuck! I don't like raw tomatoes. Cooked tomatoes are great, but I don't like raw. I make an olive oil and vinegar salad dressing with the Good Seasonings packets. (That's how I get my healthy oil in every day.) I LOVE MY SALADS! When you go on vacation, this is one of the first things I miss.

Attitude and Circumstances

When you feel anxious today, STOP. Pray: "God, I trust in your faithfulness to change both my attitude and my circumstances."

This statement was in the sidebar of my bible reading this morning. I was already feeling anxious about work today, so it was appropriate. I realize that no matter where I work I will have days that I am anxious and will probably dread going to work, but I am hopeful that it won't be as often as I am experiencing them now.

God, I trust in your faithfulness to change both my attitude and my circumstances. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Weekly Weight Average

Today is the day I calculate my weekly weight average. It was 130.9. Exactly the same as last week (totally amazing). I am THRILLED! At the beginning of the week I was afraid I wouldn't end up in my weight range (127-131) this week. I am excited to be there (even though it is just barely).

Today is my first Sunday to not where my pedometer or exercise. It is great. You know God really knew what he was doing when he invented the Day of Rest. I feel free today - free from guilt about not exercisings, free from worries about getting all my steps in, free to sit back and relax. I love it.

How to stop a complainer?

I read something in my daily reading today that made me think. I've been pondering it and didn't really know how to put it into words, so that is why this is so late today. Basically it made me think about how quick most people are to complain. And how it seems that the easier our life is, the MORE things we find to complain about. If I have a headache, I will complain to my family and people I work with and it might make me irritable. But I see my sister-in-law who suffers from MS and uses a walker and wheel chair to get around. I have NEVER heard her complain about her illness. Oh, I'm sure she does, but not in public and not to everyone she comes in contact with. There are a few people in my life that at times it seems they LIVE to complain. They can go on vacation and when you ask them how their trip was, all you get is a litany of all the things that were wrong. What makes some people complain more than others? Do the perpetual complainers realize how exasperating it is to listen to them? Is there anything that could be said to stop their complaints? Does ANYONE have a clue? I would love to know!

In the meantime...

Lord, please help me to monitor my thoughts and words for complaints. I know that I am blessed with so many wonderful gifts you have given me. When I feel the desire to complain, help me to stop and think of your gifts instead. Help me to watch my words so that others do not become exasperated by listening to me. Instead let me be uplifting and encouraging with the words I speak. Help me to be patient when listening to others complain and give me Your wisdom and words to speak to them. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Walk to Emmaus Reunion Sheet

(Note: I used to be in a Walk to Emmaus Reunion group, but it slowly fell apart. I always liked the Reunion Group Sheet and will try to post it once a week and answer the questions.)

Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and kindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Holy Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

O, God, Who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and every enjoy Your consolations. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

Review your service sheet - Christ needs you. He needs you committed in faith, so that you may witness that faith in Christ with your brothers and sisters through:
Your Spiritual Life - Morning Devotion, Prayer Life, Worship Attendance, Communion, Spiritual Retreat
Your Study - Reading Holy Scriptures, Daily Spiritual Guides, Religious publications, Denominational newspapers, Religious magazines, Bible studies, Church school classes, Religious Seminars
Your Action - What have you done during this week so Christ will be better known and loved in your: Family, vocation, community, small group, Christian community

Closest to Christ - At what moment this past week did you feel closest to Christ?

My quiet time this week has been really good. I am enjoying my bible reading and journalling is helping me feel closer to Christ.

Call to Discipleship - At what moment during this week did you feel you were responding to God's call to be His disciple? Where did you participate in being the Church this week, the heart beat of Christ?

I went to a friend's dad's funeral yesterday.

Discipleship Denied - When was your faith tested this week through failure?

I have felt very irritable this week. I particular remember Wednesday. I was actually glad to go to the grocery store Wednesday to get away from Sugar Pop and Honey for a while. I noticed my attitude when I was leaving the house, and made an effort to be nicer when I came home.

Your old plan - How faithful were you to fulfilling your plan this week?
Since I didn't do this last week, I didn't have a plan for this week.

Your new plan - What is your plan for spirituality, study, and action for the week to come?
Spirituality ~ Morning Quiet Time, Worship tomorrow morning.
Study ~ Continue bible reading and devotional reading. Need to prepare for next week's small group (first one after the holiday break).

Action ~ This afternoon we have a Kairos team meeting, tomorrow we will work the "Small Group Rally" at church.

Prayer of Thanksgiving:

Almighty God, who lives and reigns forever,
we give You thanks for all the gifts
You have bestowed upon us. Amen.

Worst Weight Entry Day

On D's recommendation I downloaded Weight Commander last week. I entered my weights for the last 90 days (that is as far back as you can go). This morning I entered my weight and a chart popped up and said, "

Sundays have been your worst weight entry day for the past twelve weeks. This makes it doubly important to be very careful today."

OK, I *knew* Sundays were bad because I tend to indulge on the weekends, but I didn't know that the gains on the past 12 Sundays added up to 12.2 lbs. That was an eye-opener. Fortunately I have had losses on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. So, I will be very careful today.

The leaders saw that Peter and John were not afraid to speak, and they understood that these men had no special training or education. So they were amazed. Then they realized that Peter and John had been with Jesus. ~ Acts 4:13

Being the Jesus changes us. He gives us the power to do things we never thought we could. I have always hated speaking in public. I would get so nervous when I had to give presentations at school that I could hardly speak. In 2002 I went on the Walk to Emmaus. There are 15 team members that give talks during the weekend. After you have been on a Walk you can have an opportunity to work one. I thought I would like to do that, but I would NOT want to give a talk. So, in 2004 I worked one (didn't have to talk). Then in 2006, I worked another and I did give a talk. It was only by the power of God that I was able to do that. Through him I was not nervous and I didn't stumble over words. I was amazed at how calm I was and I give HIM all the glory!

Wait for God to Move

Lord, listen to my words. Understand my sadness. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, because I pray to you. Lord, every morning you hear my voice. Every morning, I tell you what I need, and I wait for your answer. ~ Psalm 5:1-3

Guess what! It's me again. Praying for my new job. I pray and I wait. Yesterday I read about waiting in My Utmost for His Highest. It said:

Never run before God gives you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt—wait. At first you may see clearly what God’s will is— the severance of a friendship, the breaking off of a business relationship, or something else you feel is distinctly God’s will for you to do. But never act on the impulse of that feeling. If you do, you will cause difficult situations to arise which will take years to untangle. Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.

So I wait and pray and wait and pray. I know that God is preparing a place for me. He has given me too many confirmations of His plan. I have faith and I will wait.

Thank you God for my new job. I trust in You. I will wait for You. I will praise You and glorify You. Amen.

By the way, Sugar Pop is reading My Utmost for His Highest also. Last night he asked me if I thought this passage was referring to my job. I said, "Yes, and when I read it I knew you would be reading it too and I wondered if you would think the same thing." God is Good!

Simplify your life

Simplify your life.

That was a line in the life lesson in today's reading. It jumped out at me. I desire simplicity. Simplifying is even an interest that I listed in my profile. But what does it mean? The definition I found by googling is "make simpler or easier or reduce in complexity or extent." I know a lot of my desire is to get rid of excess stuff in my home. I love the feeling after I clean off my desk, or organize a drawer, or declutter a closet. I can think again when I look at the area. I am not distracted by what I see. But is God asking me to simplify in other areas? I don't know - maybe if I clear some more physical clutter, I will be able to think and see what other areas He wants simplified.

Dear Lord, please help me to clear the clutter, both physical, mental, and spiritual from my life so that I will not be distracted from hearing Your still, small voice. Amen.

Fitness Notebook

I have a small spiral about 5x7 that I carry with me. When I read an inspiring quote or an interesting article I write it (or print and tape) in my notebook. Then when I need some motivation or I want to remind myself of why high fructose corn syrup is so bad for me, I can look in my notebook.

Here are a few quotes I have recorded:

Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself; do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage. ~ Francis De Sales

The will to win is worthless if you do not have the will to prepare. ~ Thaine Yost

Don't waste time on things, situations, foods, drink, thoughts that are going to inhibit you from being a happy, healthy, productive, energetic person. ~ Unknown

76 Ways Sugar Can Ruin Your Health

There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in something you do it only when circumstances permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results. ~ Art Turock

Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. ~ 1 Corinthians 6:12

Is it Food? Article about "food product"

Excellence is an art won by training and habitation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly go. Excellence, then is not an act but a habit. ~ Aristole

There is much, much more and I will probably post things from my notebook occasionally.

D's Quiz

D posted this quiz over on her blog and asked for other people to post their answers. Here are mine:

1. What type (make, model) of vehicle do you see yourself purchasing next?
Most likely a Toyota of some sort, but it's at least three years down the road, so I haven't thought to much about it.

2. Name a great product that you think everyone should know about.
The UPS Store. Well, at least the one we use because the people there are great. It is so nice to have a safe place to have packages delivered - no worries about them being left on the front porch when no one is home.

3. List three of your pet peeves.
* Photo Christmas cards with only the children instead of the whole family.
* How everytime I find a product I really like, it gets discontinued. This has happened SO many times!
* People using their cell phones in the movie theater.

4. What do you dislike the most about your job, or station in life?
You really don't want to start on my job, do you? Probably the things that causes most of my stress is having SEVEN bosses. Well, actually now, it is just six because my favorite one (the man who actually lives his Christian faith isn't one of my bosses any more.

5. What is a recent favourite treat of yours (food or non-food)?
The new Glade candles made with essential oils. They smell great!

6. If you could have a $500 shopping spree, what store would you like it to be at, and what would you buy?
An office supply store. I love office supplies and electronic gadgets. I'm just sure I could find all sorts of great things for $500.

7. What book are you reading right now?
Max Lucado Devotional Bible, My Utmost for His Highest, and A Year with C.S. Lewis

8. What features would your 'dream house' have?
Hmmm...since I'm dreaming and I don't have to worry about affording it or cleaning it -- a home gym, a swimming pool, a hot tub, a media room, a separate guest house for company, a large well-lit kitchen designed for my personal chef...BIG DREAMS, Huh? Actually, I am quite content in my current house. It needs a little updating in the kitchen and I wish I had a powder bath of my little office, but all in all it's a good place to live.

9. Where would you like to be at this time next year?
Getting ready to celebrate being at my new job for a year. (Of course, I haven't been offered a new job yet, but hopefully SOON!)

10. Name something new that you'd like to try in 2007.
A heart rate monitor. I've been wanting one for months now and sometime soon I will get one.

Prayers inspired by Genesis

If you do things well, I will accept you, but if you do not do them well, sin is ready to attack you. Sin wants you, but you must rule over it. Genesis 4:7

I don't have the power to rule over sin. I NEED God's power in me, to rule over sin.

Those who keep secrets from God keep their distance from God. Those who are honest with God draw near to God. (from Life Lesson sidebar)

Dear Lord, help me to always draw near to you, especially when I want to keep my distance.

Enoch walked with God. Genesis 5:24

Dear God, I want to walk with you!

Noah pleased the Lord. Genesis 6:8

Dear Lord, I want to please you!

Faithfulness to God remains vital, even if everyone around us marches to a different drumbeat. (from Life Lesson sidebar)

Dear God, help me to remain faithful to you, even when it means being different and not fitting in.

Weight Lost and Gained

Since October 14, 2002 I have lost 97.9 pounds and gained 80.4 pounds (17.5 net loss).

During 2004 I lost 27.5 lbs and gained 19.3 lbs, 8.2 net loss, highest - 141.4, lowest - 127.7
During 2005 I lost 23.1 lbs and gained 22.9 lbs, .2 net loss, highest - 136.0, lowest - 127.4
During 2006 I lost 12.6 lbs and gained 15.4 lbs, 2.8 net GAIN, highest - 132.8, lowest - 128.2

My weight fluctuations are decreasing. I want both of those numbers to be lower in 2007, but this year the weight lost needs to be more than the weight gained.

After the New Year's Eve festivities I weighed 133.6. This is outside of the 127 to 131 weight range I would like to maintain. Most of the difference between 133.6 and 131 is probably water weight and the results of snacking from 8:00 pm until midnight. My plan is to be back in my weight range this week, although I know it might not be possible for my weekly average to be in the range. This is not the time to slack off (not that any time is a good time). I have lost and gained too many times. I want to maintain my weight during 2007. I will maintain my weight during 2007!

Day of Rest

I've been reading a blog called "Out of the Shadows." Dee is definitely a Christian. She does not wear her pedometer on Sundays because it is the Lord's Day, a day of rest. I was getting ready this morning and thinking about that and rationalizing that it was ok to work out on Sunday because it was relaxing to me. BUT, Sunday was MADE for rest which means my body probably needs a day of rest from exercise even if I don't think it does. So, starting this coming Sunday I won't wear my pedometer and the only exercise I will do will be stretching. Now that I have made that commitment, I am looking forward to it!

The Tree of Life

Heavenly Father, from the beginning of time you gave us free will, even though you knew we wouldn't always choose to love you, even though you knew it would take the death of your Son. When Adam and Eve ate from the fruit of the one tree they were not supposed to, they had to leave Eden and they no longer had access to the fruit of the tree of life. Later the tree of life would be the cross and the fruit of the tree is Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord for giving us access again to the fruit of the tree of life so that we may have eternal life and know you and be with you forever! Amen.

Flowers

Before Christmas I bought some flowers from the grocery store. Most of them were gone by New Year's, but I made a smaller boquet and put them on my filing cabinet. They have made me smile everytime I come in the room. Fresh flowers are so inexpensive from the grocery, I really must by them for myself more often.

Healthy Habits for January 2007

Here are the Healthy Habits I am working on during January:

1. Journal Food
2. Fitness Journal - Record Exercise
3. Water - 4 bottles
4. Produce - 5 servings
5. Dairy - 2 servings
6. Healthy Oil
7. Nuts
8. Fiber One
9. Whole Grain
10. Caffeine~0-1 items
11. Alcohol~0-1 items
12. No Sugar
13. No Flour
14. No Junk (Junk ~ Popcorn, Gum, Hot Chocolate Packets, Soda, Chips, Frozen Novelties, Fast Food)
15. No Coffee (regular or decaf) at Work
16. No Elevators at Work
17. Clean or Fling - At least 5 minutes
18. Cardio - At least 10 minutes
19. Core Exercises - At least 5 minutes
20. Stretching or Yoga - At least 5 minutes
21. Strength - At least 5 minutes
22. 5000 Steps
23. 2nd dose of vitamin (I don't have any trouble remembering my morning vitamins, but do my noontime ones.
24. Keep in Touch (Call, email, write or visit a friend or family member)
25. Bed 11:00
26. Blog
27. Pampering
28. Bedtime Routine (wash face, brush and floss)
29. Use less than 10 Flex Points
30. Binge Free

Goals for 2007

Goals for the Spiritual Journey
Read through the bible using the Max Lucado Devotional Bible
Read A Year with C.S. Lewis
Read My Utmost for His Highest
Review "Memorize the Message" scriptures. I will at least review the current week but I won't stress out about memorizing each week.
Journalling

Goals for the Fitness Journey
Maintain weekly average weight between 127 and 131
Average 30 minutes of exercise per day
Keep track of exercise using www.fitnessjournal.com
Attend Weight Watcher's Meeting at least once a month
Set up at least one appointment with a trainer at the gym
Keep tracking of my "Healthy Habits," adjust them once a month, and spend the dimes I "earn."
Buy a heart rate monitor

Happy

Happy are those who don't listen to the wicked, who don't go where sinners go, who don't do what evil people do. They love the Lord's teachings, and they think about those teachings day and night. They are strong, like a tree planted by a river. The tree produces fruit in season, and its leaves don't die. Everything they do will succeed. - Psalm 1:1-3

Yes, this describes the people at Happy. That is why I want to work there.

Heavenly Father, please provide the job I have been waiting for. I want to work with Happy people. I want to produce fruit and not feel like my efforts are for a tree that will wither and die. I want to work for a CEO who says, "I must decrease and He must increase." A CEO who will toast YOU when the business succeeds. I have been waiting for over a year. Dear Lord, please provide. Amen.